I am just trying to take my mind of my anxiety. So I am venting and trying to focus. It is SO bad tonight. I can not describe how I feel. I took 2.5mgs of valium. I may have to take the other half. As I stated in my other post, this is different than the anxiety I had from opiate withdrawal. In all honesty, I would gladly take that over this. At least I knew what it stemmed from. I have one more milligram of subutex then I am done. I also have no more ambien, but I was only taking .5 a night for 2 weeks.
This is just terrible. I went out 2 hours ago and took a ride and felt better, but as soon as I came home and got into my bedroom, it took hold again. This is silly. I can not start to associate anxiety with my living situation. There is no reason I should be anxious at home. I have a wonderful living situation, I am in no danger here.
I travel for a living and it is becomming an issue. My anxiety at home is so bad that I am scared to leave the house. However, once I get going, my anxiety settles down and I am much less anxious on layovers. But once I am at my layover, all I think of is wanting to be home, even though I am not having bad anxiety. So.. then I get home. I am ok for a night, but once I am off a few days, the anxiety starts to build and here I am.
What are my options? Can one die from this??? I feel as if my blood pressure is surging then calming, then surging, then calming, This can not be good. Could it actually cause me to have a stroke?? My temperature keeps fluctuation as well.
The pattern seems to be that this will last till about midnight or 1am. I will calm down enough to fall alseep then I repeat the cycle in the afternoon. If I start to think of having to live like this it becomes overwhelming and I feel as if I will lose my mind, which is scarier to me then dying. Everything is in a tunnel. My hearing is skewed and my vision is cloudy. People can't live like this.
I have been following your detox and you seem to be doing ok. I know what it is to have overwhelming axiety, where it feels like your e going to die I promise you wont it just feels awful. Do you go to NA? I go to NA or AA when I feel I have too much time on my hands and I begin to feel anxiety, it helps. Do you know the cause of your anxiety? It can be dibilitating. Have you ever done Biofeedbazk? Linda hope to hear from you
whats up Musicman... I know how it can be sometimes. Ive recently had some out-of-the-blue anxiety and low-mood/energy. Everyday is a little different. I believe mine to be work-related...I just want.....no....neeeeed a Vacation!!!! lol
As I am going through it too, there is little I can suggest, however it is good to know how anxiety works, specifically anxiety attacks.
It is said, they are kind of like 'feedback'. Your name being Musicman, you might be able to relate, as I do. Feedback is caused when a signal goes into a microphone and is amplified, then that amplified (louder) signal is picked up again from the microphone and the volume is again increased. This keeps occuring until the signal is so loud that that 'screeeeching' sound is heard by ALL! haha, any musician has been there right?!
So.... when we have anxiety and we think about it too much, or over analize it, we then 'amplify' that anxiety, and it gets a little worse. Then, if we think about that anxiety, it becomes more and more prevalent, causing the ever-popular anxiety attack.
What I have been doing is trying to pinpoint what is causing the initial anxiety, and adressing it, so as to not let it get the best of me. This will bring it down a bit, and makes it a little more manageable. (you seem to consiously know that you are in a good place, and know that the anxiety shouldn't be affecting you so bad).
Mine hasnt been so bad in the last few days, I suggest just trying to occupy yourself with positive activities; youre not alone, many people endure at least minor anxiety. You can probably, like myself, benefit from more excercise. I also picked up vitamin b6 and L-theanine from health store yesterday... it seems to have helped me somewhat.
I personally am opposed to anti-anxiety meds, as I have experimented with almost all of them, and they caused terrible rebound-anxiety for me. Its tough but Im sure we can overcome this. Keep writing; it helps alot.... good luck man! -Second
I've seen many things but dying from an anxiety attack isn't one of them. The mind is so powerful but it shouldn't rule you.
I watched my mother suffer for years from anxiety attacks. She, like you, was afraid to leave the house (it was agoraphobia (sp))...she couldn't leave the bedroom at times...there IS hope for you my friend.
I FOLLOW SOME OF YOUR POSTS and you my friend are a rock at times! Don't allow that word in your thoughts!
Thanks Corissa. I just need to practice what I preach! I is now 1:49am. I took 15 mgs of valium since 9pm. It has finally helped and subsided the anxiety enough that I do not feel as if I am having a stroke. The tingling is gone as well. I have no affinity for benzos so I am nnot worried about developing an addiction. If anyone ever needed valium as prescrbed for acute anxiety, it was me tonight. Textbook example.
I am going to rent Black Swan and watch as much as I can until I drift off. I am done with the subutex so I am going to have to deal with that. I was on low doses so I hope that will at least keep me on the low end of the spectrum of WD.
I think i need to call my doctor tommmorow and explain what is going on. He knows I was in detox and is not judgemental at all. I was very honest with him durng my usage and told him I was having issues stopping. So I am glad that I never was dishonest and never was deceitful. I think it is important to rule out physical reasons to the anxiety at least. Make sure nothing physically was going on.
I have so many issues I need to sort out and I do not want and anti-depressant, however, I will not take a benzo to treat anxiety for more than a few days so I have to figure out the right course of action for me,
Thanks for listening. I am just glad I am having a break from the unbearable axniety that has plagued me for the last 48 hours. I dont think I could adequately explain how awful I felt today. I do not think I have felt as anxiety riddled in my life. I think I would have rather had physical opiate withdrawal symptoms over what I experienced the past 2 days.
Now that subutex and ambien are no longer available, I guess the real work begins.
Wow sounds familiar, be careful you dont turn into a hypochondriac like i did one year, when my doctor finnaly comes into the room and says "Ok your going to die...,We all are, What do you want me to do for you? Pains come and go things move around inside you, your body changes, we get bored, we get tired, we get restless, were always changing, theoretically were all dying a little everyday.
I did realize i was ruining my life worring about every pain stiffness twinge, and sensation my body produced, That become an addiction in itself.
You sound just like me...Day 22 off Sub today I say that always because it is my hope! I have depression, lack of motivation yo do anything, anxiety, etc. I hate it. I am home all day & I too am beginning to hate my house. I too feel better when I get out and talk a walk, etc. but then suddenly feel bored and irritated with what I am doing. My house is a total wreck & I cant make myself clean it or work from home either. I am usually a real go getter, at least the pills made me feel that way. One thing that helps a little is to turn on some good music, it seems to help get me going a little. I gained a bunch of weight ~probably because of teh pills too & I am trying to focus on weight loss now. My hubby is on the same day as I am he goes through the same thing but works all day & I seem to think it helps him. I just hold on to hope each day. I refuse to take anything other than an otc sleeping pill & melatonin at night & vitamins etc. No valium, no xanex, nada. I will not replace one pill with another because I truly believe ANY PILL is a potential weekness to me at this point. I take each day at a time but it is very frustrating that I cannot really feel any noticable difference. Good luck
Thanks Norcoguy for the feedback. I am going to my doctor today to rule out anything. The thing is, I know it is anxiety and I am not worried that anything is wrong with me. I rather be physically sick than deal with the unrelentless anxiety. I took a total of 15mgs of valium last night and it did calm me down. I turned off the light and computer and watched TV. I slept well. I am feeling ok so far, but I am done with the subutex and I am hoping that my Wds will be minimal over the next few days.
Mm....
I've thinking about your anxiety ....you know I described as an elephant on your chest....but you know...for about month after the anxiety stopped...I got this odd feeling 24-7 that something bad was going to happen....I had a propane bottle in my jeep and when id turn a corner it'd hit my jack.....well when it hit id jump like someone shot me....you know what I did? I pulled over and rolled that sucker out of my jeep and no more gun shots to dodge...lost a propane bottle......lol
Its like you are scared of everything......thats what I meant by run forest run.....I don't know what that is...it does go away...I have to agree it is scary and everything u described I felt......darn vitamin O....I don't know how true this is but I heard you can have fake zeros for months afterwards ....I get it about 2 times a week now..but it is getting bettter...I hate the heart attack feeling.......I felt like my breast was going to pop...and they are real...ha ha
Musicman you need to join a support group maybe for anxiety and not so much opiate addiction. or maybe both. I think u need to socialize. When I was having painic attacks, my doc gave me xanax. I don't like benzos so it was no problem. However, they did help. Hopefully this is just a short term problem for you. Also, I suggest u get some blood work done to make sure your thyroid and things are okay. I know that sounds crazy but sometimes when it is out of whack so is everything.
I am going to start a new thread but I wanted to ask some of you if you thought I would benefit from sub just until I could overcome the physical withdrawls of roxis. That is the part that is bothering me the most. I think I could be okay off of it if I could be okay and not have wds.
how is it Musicman? anxiety lessen at all? ive been having better days. Doctor told me to take b12 again as ive been forgetting about those and told me to take L-theanine for mood.
And Oxygirl, u are considering subs hey?.. ive heard alot from both sides about it, you probably have too. Must be a tough decision, you really seem like you want to get away from the roxies. Did you say they were making you sick, or was that a different med? Ive been thinking about Ravensgirl lately...she was doing great, then dissapeared... hope shes doin good
Hi Second. Yes the anxiety has waned. Thank you for asking. I took the 15mgs of valium the other night and it really did work. I take benzos so seldom that I am glad to know it will work when I truly need it. I usually ride out the anxiety but it was so bad that I had to do something. So 30 minutes after ingestion it knocked it right out. I have been ok since. Not terrific but definitely better than I was.
how is it Musicman? anxiety lessen at all? ive been having better days. Doctor told me to take b12 again as ive been forgetting about those and told me to take L-theanine for mood.
And Oxygirl, u are considering subs hey?.. ive heard alot from both sides about it, you probably have too. Must be a tough decision, you really seem like you want to get away from the roxies. Did you say they were making you sick, or was that a different med? Ive been thinking about Ravensgirl lately...she was doing great, then dissapeared... hope shes doin good
I think about Ravensgirl occasionally also. I just want to be drug free. I still am not abusing the roxis not really cause I dont take more than i am supposed to but i feel like i could take something else. it is just when i start to hurt like crazy those ease it all up. don't know if the doc would give me those or give me a taper and a lecture. you never know with these docs sometimes. they can be tempermental. i really wanna taper but i am still having trouble with the knee. actually both knees. one is just worse than the other. my neck has been feeling better though. i still think there is something in that cymbalta. it sure is working. i am keeping my fingers crossed
I am here to encourage you! You can do this!! YOU ARE DOING IT! Im proud of you. Im not worried that u havent been on in a few days. This tells me you are fighting my friend- From the day i took my last pill i knew i would be off and missing for a few days. This is a great tool for preparing yourself to fly on your own. But i know when u do it -- its all you--you know yourself better then all of us and your know how to take care of yourself the best. Im sure u will peak on here and if you feel like talking talk-thats what we are all here for. But when your ready to tell us your status we will be here for you-reguardless of the outcome. I have learned that during these times sometimes its best to keep it between the three of u. You, god and the devil. Go take a look in the mirror and tell the son of a biotchin devil to get the hell out! You are coming back and taken back over your life and every thought! Keep up the good work musicman and dont forget to listen to the music!! Take Care
Last edited by Administrator; 10-01-2012 at 01:18 PM.
Thinking of you right now. Sending some prayers your way. Thanks for coming to thread and post some encouraging words when i know you are feeling like dirt right now. That was really nice. Let me know how your doing when u are up to it. Take care of yourself--hope your staying busy.
Take Care
Last edited by Administrator; 10-01-2012 at 01:18 PM.
I say that always because it is my hope! I have depression, lack of motivation yo do anything, anxiety, etc. I hate it. I am home all day & I too am beginning to hate my house. I too feel better when I get out and talk a walk, etc. but then suddenly feel bored and irritated with what I am doing. My house is a total wreck & I cant make myself clean it or work from home either. I am usually a real go getter, at least the pills made me feel that way. One thing that helps a little is to turn on some good music, it seems to help get me going a little. I gained a bunch of weight ~probably because of teh pills too & I am trying to focus on weight loss now. My hubby is on the same day as I am he goes through the same thing but works all day & I seem to think it helps him. I just hold on to hope each day. I refuse to take anything other than an otc sleeping pill & melatonin at night & vitamins etc. No valium, no xanex, nada. I will not replace one pill with another because I truly believe ANY PILL is a potential weekness to me at this point. I take each day at a time but it is very frustrating that I cannot really feel any noticable difference. Good luck
