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Old 05-24-2011, 12:45 AM   #1
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New here~Gonna try to quit in 2 weeks, need support!

I'm new here .. after reading many of the posts, i feel this may be just the place for me .. to find support and friends during this difficult time in my life. I'm addicted to tabs/percs etc .. I've been on them for about a year now ... I've ran out a few times and experianced wd's for 3-4 days at a time, but always get back on them when I can find them ... I'm having surgery in 2 weeks and i really want to quit the pills for good after i recover from surgery .. could really use some support.. The wd's i've exerianced were sooo terrible. night sweats, chills, body aches n stiffness, hands n feet numb, so naucious. felt like the flu kinda.. wanted to just die...
After reading some of these posts i have hope that it is possible to quit ..
The surgery I'm having on the 1st is - a huge 9cm mass removal thats above my uterus and attached to my right ovary, they're removing my right ovary, a D&C on uterus and total Ablation to my uterus.. for starters.. I've had terrible pelvic pain for about 4 years. I finally went to 5 Doctors in the past 3 months and finally got answers to my pain and a game plan to help me...
The one problem I'm having is NONE of my docs know i've been on tabs for the most part of the last yr or yr and a half because in my husband is military - I have mil insurance so i can NOT tell my doc that i'm addicted or ask for help to get off.. I dont want to jeopardise my husbands military career and also I am divorsed and have custody of my two kids and any rehab or treatment on file could jeopardise me keeping my kids. I have to figure out a way to do it without anyone knowing .. only my husband and bff knows about my addiction!! My husband is very supportive and kind to me, but he is sick of me being on pills. He wants to help me but he doesnt know how. I dont remember what life is like without pills, without worring about getting more, having enough, scraping up the money to buy more.
I want my life back, I want regular energy back... Part of the reason i started taking them was one - I am in real pain - but two, i realised that they gave me energy - motivation to get things done... Without pills, i do not work, clean, do laundry, dishes or cook hardly ever... on pills i have motivation and desire to clean and keep my house in order. Years before pills i remember being so organised and labeling totes and cleaning my house all the time.. but now - doing anything is a struggle.. I know there are others out there going thru what I am going thru and i need support and a game plan. I dont want to go thru withdraws twice. so i am waiting till after i recover from my surgery, then attempt to kick this habit... I ask for your help, support, advise and prayers... many prayers are needed please!
Back in high school- i spent 2 years on meth and only by the grace of God, when i turned 18 and moved away from those friends, i never experianced wd's or had a hard time quitting, i was just done and moved on with my life. Got close to God, had two kids and remained drug free for 10 yrs... until a yr ago - opiates got ahold of me.. and i need God's grace and help again to get my life back! Sorry for rambling and thank you for listening!
-Heather
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Old 05-24-2011, 03:44 AM   #2
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Re: New here~Gonna try to quit in 2 weeks, need support!

Also - I did post how much i have been taking;
I usually buy 10mg tabs and or 10mg percs - whatever is available. sometimes its roxys, oxys, tramadol & vicodin too, but usually tabs n percs..
I take 2 at a time (20mg) and i take a dose about evey 2-3 hrs .. which ends up being about 8-12 pills a day...
I always wake up with a bad headache n painfull knots in back of neck n head. i have to take 2 pills right when i wake up.. I'm tired of not feeling a "high" off them anymore. i take them to feel normal .. i'm always in a bad or cranky mood too.
ALSO - i also take zoloft daily - do these interfere w.each other? Is Seratonin syndrome a possibility??
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Old 05-24-2011, 08:09 AM   #3
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Re: New here~Gonna try to quit in 2 weeks, need support!

hello Heather. Your story sounds so very familiar to mine in a round about way. I started taking opiates about 3 or so years ago for a bad arthritis problem that is in my neck, spine and knees. I had surgery on my knee in february. I am 42. Up to this point in my life other than an occassional drink or so, I had never ever in my life taken any kind of drugs for a period of time. After I started on opiates I felt better. did not have the pain that kept me so unable to do everythings. I also have fibromyalgia. However, one day after I went to the doctor I decided that i would just go to the pharmacy the next day instead of the current day. I think I had run out that morning and couldn't get them filled till the next day. I can't remember exactly. However, the worst withdrawls hit me and I was clueless as to what was going on. After I had filled my pills I noticed I was better but didn't really put 2 and 2 together. Well it happened again sometime later and I realized I was in withdrawls for oxycodone. I take roxicodone 30mg pills and I am prescribed 4 a day. I have noticed that the roxis don't seem to last as long. u feel the euphoric effects about 35 to 40 mins after taking them and then the effect wears off it seems within the hour. Well I decided that I didn't want to be a slave to pain medication and was going to be brave and not take anymore! lol..... I have still been unable to handle full blown withdrawls. It just compounds on top of the other pain that I have which I originally take the roxis for. This is what I am doing and it might possibly help u too. I am cutting my pills in half and taking only a half dose. Then I cut one pill a day out entirely. I am actually down to about 2.5 pills a day but still experience withdrawls in the very early morning especially if I have slept all night and it has been several hours since I have taken a pain pill.

I stumbled upon cymbalta about 3 months ago and quit taking my zoloft. I too took zoloft and I think it zapped my energy because i literally stayed in bed for a few years. well not totally but a good bit of the day. I would go days and not get out of pajamas. I would take a shower and put a nightgown back on. I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome which actually go hand in hand if u look them up. the cymbalta gives me the energy that I need to stay awake and feel like I can function. I have lost 20 pounds, part due to having personal problems and not being interested in food or have much of an appetite.

If u really are serious about getting off the pills, and u sound like u really want to, try to set small goals for yourself and do it slowly. First of all u need to try to cut down some because the docs will not give u that many pills a day for pain for a gynecological surgery. they will give u 4 a day usually max. you can tell them u have a high tolerance and they will maybe give u the higher dose. For example if u are taking 10 pills a day, take and set a goal of say 8. then after u have done the 8 for a while until ur system levels out go down to 7. any reduction should be thought of as a small victory. What do u take the zoloft for? depression, panic attacks? you may want to have ur doctor reevaluate that and ask him if it is possible for that to cause fatigue. I think it did for me but everyone is different.

Good luck to you and I hope surgery is a success for u. Sounds like the cause of ur pain for sure. You are a young woman and to remain a slave to a drug would be a shame for sure. Even tho mine are prescribed by the doctor I still do not want to be a slave to any kind of substance. withdrawls are horrible. some people can suffer through them. I am a big chicken and pray daily that I can somehow continue to cut down on my doseage. I am taking around 60 - 90 mgs or roxicodone a day which is the equivalent of about 9 percocets if it is on the high end. To me that is just too much. Please let us know how u do

 
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Old 05-24-2011, 11:48 AM   #4
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Re: New here~Gonna try to quit in 2 weeks, need support!

Well you are right you came to the right place. Lots of support and prayers are heading your way. Be proud of yourself because having the courage to share your story with us is the first step. I wanted to first address Tramadol and Zoloft combo= very dangerous. Stay away from Tramadol/Ultram it does and will interfere with the zoloft-and can cause serratonin syndrome and seizures. Do u take Tramadol on a regular basis--or just here and there when you cant get pecocet? Not even sure what tabs are? I was addiced to Tramadol if you have time read my thread--Its my first post ever and it is under "Please Help Me properly Taper off Tramadol" i believe.

But anyway i think its a good idea like oxygirl said to wean down now and taper down to as close as you can get to what they plan to give u while your in the hospital..But i dont know if your gonna have enough time to do that so we both know the only other option. Then once your out you can plan a taper schedule and get stocked up on some good vitamins too. Im here for you if you need to talk or ask questions.

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Old 05-24-2011, 05:07 PM   #5
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Re: New here~Gonna try to quit in 2 weeks, need support!

Thank you guys so much for advise n support!!
Yes, i take the zoloft for depression .. I developed TERRIBLE post pardum after i had my 1st baby and thats when they put me on zoloft.
Oxygirl - ur story is very similar to mine.. i have also suffered from cronic back n joint pains my whole life. i've asked a doc about fibromyalsia becuz it seemed to fit my issues, and asked to be switched from zoloft to cymbalta to see if it helped, but that doc told me that its a made up thing, doesnt exist, so he refused - he also said all anti depresants r basically the same so i dont need to switch!! i know now that that doc was a QUACK and i have a new doc and have an appt w/her in 2 weeks and will ask her about the zoloft / tried thing and ask to switch to cymbalta again!
I struggle with energy n motivation all the time - even before the pain meds... i too have to force myself to shower , get ready .. i normally dont shower or put on make up unless i have to leave the house.. which is sometimes only once a week!! i stay in sweats all the time too,
I've gained about 35 pounds in the past year and half.. mostly because i dont do much / tired a lot. but also because of my pelvic issues and pain, i literally cant work out - it hurts. i hope that after my surgery i can recover and start to exercise again and lose this weight!
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Old 05-24-2011, 05:17 PM   #6
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Re: New here~Gonna try to quit in 2 weeks, need support!

and carolyn - yes, i never knew anything about the tram/zoloft = seratonin syndrom thing until i read about it on this site last nite!! That scared me alot!! I used to take the trams a lot when i first started on opitates last yr... i dont get them much anymore. my tolerance is much higher now and they dont effect me like they used to so i take perc and tabs mostly now.. tabs are Loratabs. ... I have a script for the tabs. for my pelvic pain, doc gives me 30 a month - for the past 3 months .. but those 30 only last me a few days .. i buy the others (percs n more tabs) as they are available thru a friend. I'm so sick of this cycle and being on the pills .. and the MONEY - OMGOsh i spend around $100 a week sometimes more on pills and it makes me so angry at myself.. there's so much I could do with that money - vacations, fun stuff w/my kids. etc. but right now i'm stuck buying pills so I'm not sick or have seisures...
My surgery is June 1st and after i recover from that (and an pain free hopefully) I want to get a specific plan on tapering down and cutting these pills outta my life for good! I wanna be healthy, happy, have energy and be a great mom and wife again!
I seem to struggle so much with will power.. when i have a bottle of pills i seem to just take and take them.. i cant regulate or control how many i take when they are in my possesion .. so what i have started doing is - i give the bottle to my husband - he hides them from me and rations then out to me.. but even in doing that - i still haggle more outta him than i should and no matter where he hides the bottle i always seem to find it - and i dont tell him, so i can keep sneaking out more pills thru out the day ... my husband and i have a great relationship and i totaly understand why he gets frustrated with me... i dont think he gets how sick i get tho and how terrible the wd's are... and i plan on telling him about the tram / siesure possibility too so he knows that i cant just stop .. is the seratonin syndrome just with zoloft / tram combo? Or is it with any opiate??
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Old 05-24-2011, 05:19 PM   #7
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Re: New here~Gonna try to quit in 2 weeks, need support!

oxygirl - I've also read about cronic fatigue syndrome and fybromialsia - i think it's VERY possible i have one or BOTH of them but i havent found a doc to take me seriously on those issues yet!
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Old 05-24-2011, 05:58 PM   #8
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Re: New here~Gonna try to quit in 2 weeks, need support!

Update: I've overtaken my pills again today and yesterday .. i've taken 2 percs and 4 tabs today - 2 pills each dose and 3 doses today and I'm scared because I only have 2 tabs left. i have the bottle to my husband n told him to hide them from me and dont give them to me till tomorrow!!! I know only having 2 pills tomorow will NOT be good, so i txt me friend to see if she can find me something for tomorrow - because our hookup is flaky and i wont be able to get more tabs until friday, so i'll need to find anything to get me thru wed n thurs so i'm not sick!! I'm scared and upset with myself for takin too many AGAIN ... I dont wanna get sick again .. w hat are some tips to help w/ wd's .. i read about taking high dose of immodium . does that really work?
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Old 05-24-2011, 06:01 PM   #9
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Re: New here~Gonna try to quit in 2 weeks, need support!

And Oxygrl and Carolyn - how are u both doing with your struggles? How much are u taking now? Does it get easier when you taper or do u still crave constantly? I'll keep both of you guys in my prayers too!!!
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Old 05-24-2011, 07:58 PM   #10
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Re: New here~Gonna try to quit in 2 weeks, need support!

Heather,

Okay first i should say that my point of view comes from a chronic pain patient and not an addict trying to get clean.

If you go into this surgery with your doctors not knowing about the meds you have been taking, you are risking your life, plain and simple. Now let me tell you why. I am a CP patient on morphine and percocet daily, have been for 8 yrs now, been through Oxycontin and Fentanyl as well. I've also had 20 surgeries in the last 12 yrs. When your body and brain are tolerant of the pain meds, which yours is by the way, then it's very hard to control your pain during and after surgery. You could very easily get an accidental overdose of pain meds in the hospital, because they don't know what you've been on and what your tolerance is. During your surgery you can be given anesthesia that may not be compatible with the drugs your taking. Trust me this comes from experience, they don't ask you questions like "are you on any medications" for kicks....IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO BE HONEST ABOUT IT.

Your taking a pretty hefty dose of drugs each day, I don't know what "tabs" are but I'm very familiar with everything else you mentioned. You list fears of somehow losing custody of your kids if the wrong people find out....let me ask you this, what happens to those kids when you try to score from the wrong person and you get killed or badly beaten?

As for this affecting your husband or ex-husband's military career, as long as the pills are not in his name, that wouldn't happen. You're the addict, not him....and just because you have military insurance doesn't mean you're considered military also, you're just a dependent.

I'm not going to state the obvious because you know what you're doing is wrong and you need to stop. BUT PLEASE, PLEASE RECONSIDER TELLING YOUR SURGEON ABOUT THE DRUGS YOU'VE BEEN TAKING. Dr./patient confidentiality and HEPPA laws will keep you safe from being outed...and generally insurance companies don't read patient files, which is where the information would be held.

Please think about your kids and the foolishness of your intentions....they deserve more than that don't they?

I'm not just trying to scare you, please know that...you've made a great decision to stop the drugs and get back to a real life, but don't let making the wrong decision ruin that for you. The other thing that you may not have thought is that they will do Pre-Op bloodwork at the hospital....would you want your surgeon to find out that way and perhaps cancel your surgery, or take the high road of owning up to your mistakes and tell him yourself?

Kat

 
Old 05-25-2011, 12:54 AM   #11
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Re: New here~Gonna try to quit in 2 weeks, need support!

I am in the same boat as kat. I am a chronic pain patient and I am currently taking 2 to 2.5 roxicodones a day. To me it seems to be getting easier. I am adjusting to my level but it has taken a while. it seems like it shouldn't take as long but it does for me anyway. I know that doesn't seem like a big reduction but 4 of them were 120 mg. because they are 30 mg each. So I am taking about 75. on a really bad day it can be 90. I do not like that feeling of withdrawls at all. that is the main reason i am trying to continue to downsize! The cymbalta does help with some of the pain. It is an amazing drug. and Heather you may need to go to a rheumatologist to have him diagnose the condition. GP's are reluctant to put a diagnosis on any major illness unless it is beyond a shadow of a doubt. That is why there are 10 different doctors for every person. One for the heart, one for the stomach, one for the mind. pain center docs. and the list goes on and on and on...They don't normally prescribe narcotics for fibromyalgia. I just happened to have severe osteoarthritis also so that is where the pain meds came in. I still believe that a lot of the pain was the fibromyalgia because i do seem to feel somewhat better. It is not a miracle drug but it helps me keep from sleeping all day and I am starting to keep my house clean again. My house used to be spotless and not it is in shambles. I am totally embarrassed to even let family come over. I am starting to get it back in order and I am actually hoping to increase the cymbalta doseage. Heather you are gonna have to make urself cut back. What I did was I put how ever many pills I was allowed in one day in a dispenser. That way I could keep track of what I was actually taking. It is much easier to make 3 pills last the whole day if 3 pills is what u see. If u see 120 pills u think "one more will make it better" and then before u know it u are short on ur meds and in trouble.

 
Old 05-25-2011, 04:24 PM   #12
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Re: New here~Gonna try to quit in 2 weeks, need support!

Question: Would methadone - in small doses - help with wd's and getting off opitates. i read that it does help, not just for heroin users... what is a small dose and possible side effects and does methadone show up in a drug screen like a normal opiate (percs loratabs) or does it show up seperatly? I have a rx for tabs from my pcm and from my gyno, i also take zoloft, but i want off the percs n tabs n need a game plan and a friend mentioned methadone as a possibility . but idk ..
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Old 05-25-2011, 04:25 PM   #13
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Re: New here~Gonna try to quit in 2 weeks, need support!

and oxygrl - thank u - i will definitely do that!! I'm out right now, but will properly ration them for sure when i get my next rx!!
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Old 05-25-2011, 06:11 PM   #14
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Re: New here~Gonna try to quit in 2 weeks, need support!

Methadone is highly addictive even in small doses and if your already easily addicted to narcotics it will probably become addictive in your system. Yes it does show up in a blood test, but it is not an opiate and it is widely used for pain control, not just drug addiction. The big side effect or should we say aftereffect with methadone is that when you use it to detox, and if you slip up and start using narcotics again...your more than likely to overdose because your body does not register them the same.

Honestly if your plan is to quit then swapping one addictive agent for another is not the answer....doing a slow controlled taper would most likely work best for you.

 
Old 05-25-2011, 07:59 PM   #15
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Re: New here~Gonna try to quit in 2 weeks, need support!

ok thank you!! much needed info!
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