hi everyone my name is chase. Recently the past couple months I have been getting back into opiates and am having a real difficult time quitting. Years ago back in high school i was hooked on oxys up to 2 80s a day. My family and friends helped me quit successfully and bounced back to life rather quickly. Though those withdrawls were hell something i will never forget.
Long story short its been 7 years later and have been taking up to 10 to 30mg a day of pretty much any painkiller i can get my hands on, mainly vicodin, percosets and the last few days oxys. I'm afraid to tell my girl friend and family about it, (she knows my past history) I'm sure shes starting to wonder where my money is being funneled into. I'm not taking a crazy amount of the PKs but if I keep this up it will be bad I know this.
Feels like I just need someone to sock me in the face and get real, or at least some positive reinforcement. Thanks for listening to whomever read this, any response would be great..someone to talk to about this.
Last edited by chaselam; 05-24-2011 at 12:29 PM.
The following user gives a hug of support to chaselam: ~Carolyn~ (05-24-2011)
Well welcome to the boards--Thank you for sharing. I wont sock you in the face....But since we know how u already were addicted badly to the oxy's and the last few day u have been getting them STOP! Or i will sock u in the face! Just kidding--but u and i both know thats not good that you are starting an affair up with your old favorite true love. So baby steps NO MORE OF THOSE. Now if you are a strong willed person do you think you could follow a taper plan lets say on Vicoden or Perc's? Or are u going cold turkey. ALso is this gonna stay a secret or do u plan to have your family and girlfriend help you? I did this on my own and kept it a secret. Sure was not easy and would have been wonderful to have help but i just dont trust anybody and i rather take some secrets to my grave with me...Keep me posted on what your plan is. Ill be here to help if you need me.
Last edited by Administrator; 10-01-2012 at 01:37 PM.
Have you thought that perhaps if you told your family/parents, that might actually be the "sock in the face" or reality check that you need? They loved you enough to help you the first time, I don't get the feeling that their love has gone....anything you can do to make it easier in the long run is worth doing.
I totally know what you are talking about, I had not touched a pill in over 14 yrs, then I started up again. Being an addict I can come up with a million excuses as to what lead me to do this again, knowing what my fate would be. In the long run i kick myself and remind myself how very stupid and careless I was to think i could take ONE and not loose control. I try now to look toward the positive, I have to quite....AGAIN! UGH!!! I have done it before so I know its very possible. I really do feel so much better when I read this board, it really does inspire me. Like you, I have not yet gotten as bad as I was the first time, and I am trying to quit before I do. I know we can do this, please keep me posted on your progress. I am there with you!
I'm very sorry about what you're going through. I relapsed quite a few times before staying clean. It's very difficult to stop something that feels so damn good. I'm going to suggest you research a herbal supplement called gaba. It is extremely effective to help stop taking pills and worked for me. Please stay in touch xo
The Following User Says Thank You to rayofhope For This Useful Post: affraidtostop (05-27-2011)
Keeping things secret can seem like the best idea, the fear of disappointing family or losing friends and loved ones can be quite the motivation to keep silent. I found it is best to let at least one person you are close to know about what you are going though and educate them about what addiction is and how they can support you as you get clean. I too became hooked on ocs and would do anything i could get my hands on in an attempt at relieving the emotional turmoil, stress and w/ds. I did tell one person at first however, and I'm glad I did. I had someone to comfort me while I was weaning off, and eventually detoxing at home. It's the only way I didn't just go out and get something to make me feel better again. However, as a side note, I relapsed within three months of that. I'm sure you have heard of a medicine called Suboxone. After relapsing and using for another year, draining my bank account and ruining my relationship with my boyfriend of 4 yrs, I decided to try another approach. I went to the doctor and got put on Suboxone. This drug has kept me off illegal painkillers and eliminated the constant highs and lows of painkillers so I could continue my life and be myself without having to go through pain. I have successfully weaned myself down to a low dose and anticipate being off the medication within the next year. I have rebuilt my relationships, began attending school, and regained my self respect as well as my family and friend's. Not everyone is going to be able to quit and stay clean by themselves. Suboxone eliminates withdrawls as well as eases the emotional urge to use. You dissolve a film under your tongue once a day, and you are good for 24 hrs. This approach includes support from counseling and support group meetings. The program allows for medication and support, which is truely what is needed to stay sober long term.To anyone who has found themselves relapsing, I recommend this method as it has saved my life. It's not for everyone, but if you have relapsed it's worth checking out. Not all doctors can prescribe it, but you can find a provider on the internet. I found a provider that charges based upon my income, as I do not have health insurance.
Keeping things secret can seem like the best idea, the fear of disappointing family or losing friends and loved ones can be quite the motivation to keep silent. I found it is best to let at least one person you are close to know about what you are going though and educate them about what addiction is and how they can support you as you get clean. I too became hooked on ocs and would do anything i could get my hands on in an attempt at relieving the emotional turmoil, stress and w/ds. I did tell one person at first however, and I'm glad I did. I had someone to comfort me while I was weaning off, and eventually detoxing at home. It's the only way I didn't just go out and get something to make me feel better again. However, as a side note, I relapsed within three months of that. I'm sure you have heard of a medicine called Suboxone. After relapsing and using for another year, draining my bank account and ruining my relationship with my boyfriend of 4 yrs, I decided to try another approach. I went to the doctor and got put on Suboxone. This drug has kept me off illegal painkillers and eliminated the constant highs and lows of painkillers so I could continue my life and be myself without having to go through pain. I have successfully weaned myself down to a low dose and anticipate being off the medication within the next year. I have rebuilt my relationships, began attending school, and regained my self respect as well as my family and friend's. Not everyone is going to be able to quit and stay clean by themselves. Suboxone eliminates withdrawls as well as eases the emotional urge to use. You dissolve a film under your tongue once a day, and you are good for 24 hrs. This approach includes support from counseling and support group meetings. The program allows for medication and support, which is truely what is needed to stay sober long term.To anyone who has found themselves relapsing, I recommend this method as it has saved my life. It's not for everyone, but if you have relapsed it's worth checking out. Not all doctors can prescribe it, but you can find a provider on the internet. I found a provider that charges based upon my income, as I do not have health insurance.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR INFORMATION ON SUBOXONE. I have been seeing it mentioned here but i have never heard of it and had no idea what it was. I have relapsed after 14 years, vics and oxy being my poison of choice. I have only told one person that i can trust. The first time I became an addict, the drug gave me energy and put me in a good mood, which of course is the reason I continued to take it,. We had just lost our son and I had no energy and of course depressed. The vics made it all better, they gave me both the energy and happiness I so badly craved. It no longer does that, it makes me sleepy, but yet my body craves it. I hope I can get the courage to ask the dr for advise on Suboxone, I live in terrible fear of my family finding out what I have re-done to myself.
Re: relapse vics, percs, oxy 
