Phoenix... as usual, you are bang on with regards to what I would say. I should have known that the answer was closer to home.
I am at a loss. Today, her gave her 7 (seven) 6+1=7 patches!! All she said was 3 fell off last week and he didn't replace them for her to give back to the pharmacist who covered them until she got to the docs.... and the 4 she lost in the last week.
What is doing is lying to him and telling him that she IS wearing the 3M tape he provided to her to keep the patch from coming off. SHE DOESN'T wear the tape. I think if she did use the tape and it worked, she wouldn't be able to change them as often therefore the feeling of withdrawal would overcome her. Poor thing.
He is pushing her ahead for the methadone for pain program. Currently, she is scheduled to come off the patch and take methadone in just over 2 weeks.
Our relationship is currently so sour that I actually cried thinking about it which is something I NEVER do or EVER have. I am more alone in this relationship than if I were single.... but thats another thread
__________________
People WANT you, NEED you, PLEASE you, TAKE you, LOVE you, HATE you, PLAY you, RATE you, SAVE you and BREAK you... but it's what MAKES YOU, YOU!
Last edited by Administrator; 08-23-2011 at 03:13 PM.
I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this battle on top of all the others that hit you on a daily basis.
There is something incredibly hinky with your doc. You say he's good and desires to monitor his patient base, to weed out the users from the needers....but there is a major concern here. I've been on the Fentanyl patch for legitimate pain management before.....and doctors who are doing there jobs and not enabling folks to become addicted do not buy stories such as my patch fell off, poor me. I've never heard of this in my whole pain management/addiction life, and I've been doing this since I was 17...that's 25 years. Have you told him what's going on? Does he just not listen? Have you considered filing a complaint with the medical board?
I'm sorry I don't mean to sound harsh, and I know once you find a doc your comfortable with it's not always probable or possible to leave his practice, but he's not doing anything to help the situation. He's making it far worse by enabling her lies.....and honestly as a physician he's behaving irresponsibly and borderline illegally. He's taken an Oath to "due no harm", sadly he's not following it.
katlin, that's just it... They DO fall off.. sorta. They have fallen off my mother also. I think "falling off" isn't the right explanation.... they come undone around the corners...
There are 2 kinds. There is the ratio and sandoz. The "new" sandoz are the ones that keep coming off. He then just writes the SCRIPT and then off she goes.
__________________
People WANT you, NEED you, PLEASE you, TAKE you, LOVE you, HATE you, PLAY you, RATE you, SAVE you and BREAK you... but it's what MAKES YOU, YOU!
Actually there are several more brands, but that doesn't matter, it is hard to get them to stay on for some people, I was one of them. But, all you have to do is get Tegaderms or some other patch cover.....they're like large band aids and they don't come off, if they do you just put another tegaderm on, and you can get them at any drugstore. The thing is your doctor knows this....any doc that RX's Fentanyl knows this.
And he's choosing to ignore a major "addiction" warning sign, that couldn't be more obvious.
You mentioned that your doc only took a "passing" notice of your methods of sorting "users" from "needers". Most likely because he knows he has addicts in his practice and he's choosing to enable them instead of stopping it and doing what he's ethically bound to do. He took an Oath, "due no harm", its a pity he seems to have forgotten it.
Honestly I don't know how you go to someone like that for care...I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.....
Kat... You and I both could call this an addiction warning sign from miles away.
That's the thing with this doc though... I just don't think he cares, in fact, judging by his actions, I think it's a safe bet to say that I know he doesn't care.
You see this particular doctor is the ONLY doc we've seen that will prescribe the amount of fentynal that she needs to make her comfortable throughout the day and she doesn't want that to stop (for any reason)... when asking about the methadone program, she is already setting herself up to fail by asking if he would allow her to go back on the patch if the methadone doesn't work for the pain.
Believe me, there is a difference from someone being proactive and someone scared that their "supply" might end.... I've been through it before. And with our relationship as rocky as it is, I would have to be here for her full time (which is the least I could do) but where would it end?
Here's the part I don't get.... They fall off because she won't use the tape to keep them on!?!? She tells the doc that she DOES use the tape.
Is it that she doesn't use the tape because if she did, she wouldn't be able to get extra patches each week to change them earlier than the already ridiculous number of 36 hours???
Just last week I said "When we see the doc I am telling him that you don't use the tape" (I wouldn't do it, although I should) and she went ballistic on me...
She was freaked out bringing up things to get me into trouble... she went all the way back to me throwing a rock at the neighbors car and breaking the window (I was 13 years old!!!!).....
I couldn't bring myself to tell him... If anything were to happen to her now it's on me?
__________________
People WANT you, NEED you, PLEASE you, TAKE you, LOVE you, HATE you, PLAY you, RATE you, SAVE you and BREAK you... but it's what MAKES YOU, YOU!
I know you feel like its on you and is your sole responsibility....but hon, it's not. You didn't force her to ask for fentanyl, you didn't force her to put the patch on, and you sure aren't forcing her to lie to the doc about it.
I know this is an incredibly difficult situation, but ask yourself this question: If someone else came on this board with the same problem and said, "should I tell her doc?". What would you advice them to do......I can say with pretty good accuracy that you would tell them to talk to the doc. Because you have been through the Hell we call addiction.
Another thing you need to think about is whats best for your girl, how to keep her out of danger.....because one of these days something is going to happen. You can't just screw around with Fentanyl like that, she's going to end up overdosing on it, and then you'll be totally overcome by grief and guilt because you did nothing to stop it.
The other thing I worry about is that between all the stress, aggravation, worrying, and fighting.....you're going to end up using again. We all know that these things can easily drive someone to that calm euphoric "I don't give a damn" feeling that comes with starting up on drugs for pleasure.
I know you've done things in your past that your not proud of....but you've managed to overcome that, you are a nice guy with good intentions. I would just hate to see you fall apart when she harms herself with all this Fentanyl, and I would really hate to see you slip back in to that place where who cares what happens, my pills make it all okay.
I know you have trouble turning your girl in to the doc, BUT have you ever thought of reporting the doc for his unethical, harmful and almost illegal RX'ing of pain meds? That would take the blame off your shoulders, and it might just force your girl to go to a real doc that won't buy her crap, and would make her stick to the normal, legal amount of patches. It's just a thought. I sincerely hope you don't think I'm badgering you about this, it's just a worrisome situation, and you've come so far....
Thank you for your response.. With all that is/was said and after the Admin comment, I decided to let her read the post.
She cried for a while and hugged me and thanked me for caring enough to "ask for help".
If nothing else, she is joining the boards under her own "name" and will discuss her issue(s) should the need arise. She was more than impressed with the honest and caring comments that have "Pointed me in the right direction".
I will no longer comment or post in this thread and thank all those who have because I have seen things in ways that I would not have on my own.
CIAO
__________________
People WANT you, NEED you, PLEASE you, TAKE you, LOVE you, HATE you, PLAY you, RATE you, SAVE you and BREAK you... but it's what MAKES YOU, YOU!
All she said was 3 fell off last week and he didn't replace them for her to give back to the pharmacist who covered them until she got to the docs.... and the 4 she lost in the last week.
