This is such a difficult post for me. I have been an addict of oxys, cocaine and heroin for most of my adult life.
My fiancee of 14 years had a car accident 5 years ago which required surgery to her neck to fuse the discs. The surgery was NOT a success and now no one will touch her.
We used to argue about my drug use compared to hers. I was just a druggie and she was someone legitimately in pain therefore her use of narcotics was justified. She would say "I only change the patch when I am supposed to, I don't abuse it". I would in turn say "just wait and see".
Well now the time has come. She doesn't change it every 48 hours...its down to about every 20 hours. She uses the excuse that they have fallen off, or the sweat made it come off and the doc is always giving her extras. There is some truth to them falling off cuz the new Sandoz brand is garbage if you ask me.
She sleeps 24/7. Has ZERO energy, no zest for life and it's breaking my heart to see her like this.
SHe refuses to use oxys... no to dilaudid, no to morphine etc....
At one point she would have chopped my head off if I suggested methadone but after reading up on it here, thinks it may be right for her.
The "rule of thumb" usually states that if a person requires more of a certain medication than prescribed,in order to achieve the same desired effect,then tolerance has built and physical dependance has occurred.
The lethargy and increased sweating are both side effects of this particular drug.
It's not something that she knowingly did but can be viewed as a consequence of long term use.
This is such a difficult post for me. I have been an addict of oxys, cocaine and heroin for most of my adult life.
My fiancee of 14 years had a car accident 5 years ago which required surgery to her neck to fuse the discs. The surgery was NOT a success and now no one will touch her.
We used to argue about my drug use compared to hers. I was just a druggie and she was someone legitimately in pain therefore her use of narcotics was justified. She would say "I only change the patch when I am supposed to, I don't abuse it". I would in turn say "just wait and see".
Well now the time has come. She doesn't change it every 48 hours...its down to about every 20 hours. She uses the excuse that they have fallen off, or the sweat made it come off and the doc is always giving her extras. There is some truth to them falling off cuz the new Sandoz brand is garbage if you ask me.
She sleeps 24/7. Has ZERO energy, no zest for life and it's breaking my heart to see her like this.
SHe refuses to use oxys... no to dilaudid, no to morphine etc....
At one point she would have chopped my head off if I suggested methadone but after reading up on it here, thinks it may be right for her.
IS she addicted?
There is a difference between being addicted and becoming opiate tolerant. Your girlfriend has become tolerant to the fentanyl. It's time for the two of you to visit a Chronic Pain Centre and have her assessed for a different drug that will alleviate her pain. Unfortunately, we people with chronic pain have to keep switching... we become used to a certain drug and it doesn`t work anymore.
Please give her all your support, and go to a reputable doctor who is well versed in pain medication. I wish you ALL the best.
~Nan
Last edited by Administrator; 08-21-2011 at 09:26 AM.
This is such a difficult post for me. I have been an addict of oxys, cocaine and heroin for most of my adult life.
My fiancee of 14 years had a car accident 5 years ago which required surgery to her neck to fuse the discs. The surgery was NOT a success and now no one will touch her.
We used to argue about my drug use compared to hers. I was just a druggie and she was someone legitimately in pain therefore her use of narcotics was justified. She would say "I only change the patch when I am supposed to, I don't abuse it". I would in turn say "just wait and see".
Well now the time has come. She doesn't change it every 48 hours...its down to about every 20 hours. She uses the excuse that they have fallen off, or the sweat made it come off and the doc is always giving her extras. There is some truth to them falling off cuz the new Sandoz brand is garbage if you ask me.
She sleeps 24/7. Has ZERO energy, no zest for life and it's breaking my heart to see her like this.
SHe refuses to use oxys... no to dilaudid, no to morphine etc....
At one point she would have chopped my head off if I suggested methadone but after reading up on it here, thinks it may be right for her.
IS she addicted?
Just wanted to add: You used to use drugs to get high. She uses drugs for pain control. There IS a big difference. Ask your doctor about Methadone (in tablets, not liquid). You don't get high from Methadone (Metadol which I take (25 mg. twice a day) but it relieves your pain, gives you much more energy because you are NOT in pain, and she won't be sleeping her life away.
That's very sad. I feel for you. Just help her the best you can - AND, she wins the argument!
Who picks up her Fentanyl for her? Or is that one of the rare times that she gets up out of bed? From what you're saying, she sounds addicted, not opiate-tolerant like I initially said.
She must be horribly miserable to want to sleep - a drug-induced sleep - all the time. And of course her beauty and vivacity would disappear. Don't feel bad that you are ashamed of her. You loved her when she was a person, now it sounds like she's not.
Is there any way you can make an appointment with HER doctor, without her knowledge and speak to the doctor? Now the doctor can only tell you so much (confidentiality) but perhaps you could tell the doc about how she sleeps all the time, has lost her identity, and lives for the Fentanyl. Ask the doctor what you could possibly do. They know the system far better than you or me, and can tell you what you can legally do or not. Such as having her committed to rehab (she's not a harm to anyone, but she is to herself). Can you do that?
She will hate you for it, initially, but once she is clean and remembers what it feels like, those feelings will subside. She's obviously not happy, nor are you. It's either that, or dump her which I sense you are not yet ready to do, but I think that is coming.... :-(
Please keep in touch. You're in Ont., I'm in Calgary (but am from Montreal). I think our laws are similar although they vary somewhat from province to province.
I'm thinking of you, sweetheart.
~Nan
Last edited by Administrator; 08-21-2011 at 09:31 AM.
Corissa3 - just a quick note - I'm glad you are taking the methadone partially to get clean. That's a big step, and having your girl on Fentanyl is dragging you down. You know that better than anyone. When it comes down to it - YOUR health is more important than anyone else's....
It sounds to me like your girl is suffering from depression... the sleeping, not wanting to get up, the making of excuses about why not to get up, losing interest in things she used to enjoy (like the mall).
Fentynal is a highly, highly potent drug. In some people, it can cause depression. I wonder if that may be the case here?
When I was using Oxycodone and Xanax for pain issues, tolerance grew as expected and my doses increased over the years. I did end up in a deep clinical depression... partly from life issues, and, in a large part from the high dosages of drugs. It was then that I crossed the line from using for physical pain into using for mental pain. The more depressed I became, the more I used to knock myself out and not have to deal with the feelings of depression which were overwhelming. It was a vicious circle... the more I used; the more depressed I became, the more depressed I became, the more I used.
Perhaps your girl would allow a full examination to be done and would allow you to go with her for your support and your imput? My husband went with me when I sought help and truly his imput really was valuable in my getting the proper help with it all.
PEPPER.... I hate it when I type for an hour and then hit enter and the screen goes black and it's only then I realize I should have saved at least half the novel I had written cuz now I am too depressed to re write the darn thing and now it's only going to be a spec of it s true desired post.
In a nutshell
I take methadone for an accident I was involved in. There was $23000 damage to my 2008 Ford F-350. I was t-boned on highway 404 in richmond hill 2 years ago and came to a complete stop thanks to a tree.... The ONLY tree in the ENTIRE area and I had to hit it head on in the middle of the night.
Back to the the addiction.. she has completely lost all motivation. When it comes to her medication, its actually pathetic to see how see pretty much grovels for it to the doctor. She takes on this elderly "act" almost submissive and has her hands out and says "Well, 4 patches actually fell off but I can do with 3 of them" Its the old routine of if I act like its bad but then only ask for a little, they will believe me.... when the entire time, the doctor is not doubting her at all and it just makes her look stupid.
Last week I had to get upset with her in the office cuz the doc was in a hurry and he kept saying "Just tell me how many you need" and she kept going on with this story and he repeated "How many, how many do you need" and it was like she was in a trance and just kept on with this stupid story and then I had to say to the doc.... she needs 5!
Problem with this dumb doc is he is also my dumb doc... we get marcaine injections every wednesday and have for the past 14 months.
He's not as bad as he sounds but he is one doc I'd hate to see if looking for sympathy. He is fresh outta med school and paying his loan back is tops on his list. If there were a revolving door to his office, it would not stop spinning.
He's not one for small talk that's for sure. Our doc is pushing for her to go on methadone. We've gone to one "methadone for pain doc" but that didn't turn out favorably. He said he wouldn't put her on it until he is certain another surgery is out of the question because they don't do surgery on methadone patients???
Hi, I am a chronic painer and have been on the fentanyl patch for a very long time. Unless she is using more than one patch at a time, she really isn't getting more of the fentanyl by changing her patch every 20 hours. The patch doesn't work that way. They did a study showing that there is no benefit when patients changed their patches every day vs. 48 hours. So by doing that she is not getting more of the med unless she wears more than one patch at a time. Now, she may think she is but nope!
Plain and simple,her physical needs are beginning to have a psychological component to it.
I am not stating this to curry anyone's favor but to give my honest opinion.She needs help and you are the person to show her the pathway.
If you would like me to post something that you can print out for her to read,I am prepared to go there.
Respectfully
Phoenix
Thats very kind of you to offer and YES I will accept.
To Boxer, I didn't think her changing the patch made a difference either in the fact that it is time released. I just mentioned it to her right now the comment you made and she replied "I notice a difference, well somewhat."
I think Phoenix is correct in that it has become a psychological issue with her now and not a medicinal one.
I can no longer help her. She doesn't tell me anymore when she changes her patch.... I have to rely on her actions to know. I tried writing it down and she said "You don't want to be around me when I change it at 36 hours"... it was the same look Bruce Banner gave the audience right before he turned into the hulk....She's only 114lbs but packs a wicked left hook and when her hands are sore they resemble a talon of an eagle and with the long nails....sorry, back to her.
We see the doctor this wednesday and he has referred her to his "methadone for pain" doctor friend.
There isn't a way for me to give anymore support than I have.... I still have room for a lot more should the need arise I personally feel methadone is the way to go as I know what it has done for me.
3 months ago, my girl would have never agreed to methadone but thankfully, she's at least open to the idea. She is very proud and feels that both of us being on it would "look bad". Truthfully, I have to agree but I would never let her know that. Her health is the ONLY care I have in the world, not what anyone thinks...
It's funny because prior to meeting me 14 years ago, this worse thing this family ever did was park in a handicap spot ONCE. Whoa, how things have changed.
Thats very kind of you to offer and YES I will accept.
.
Hello [ ]
You may not know me from Adam but if you bear with me for a bit,I believe that a few things can be explained.
Being physically dependant on fentanyl will most definitely affect you psychologically.
The mind/body connection is not to be taken for granted but the body/mind component rarely is spoken of(in that order).
The physical demands of chronic pain on one's body can place undue stress on a person's psyche.
Once this happens,a person can easily become both irritated and lethargic;a recipe for potential disaster.
Relationships will suffer from it on different levels and it might not even be evident to that person because pain can alter a person's perception of things.
It's similar to saying the glass is half full(optimism)with poison(pessimism).
If you can relate to any of this,please dig deep down and find the courage to say "no more" to the insanity and "yes please" to a better quality of living.
Corissa, I have chatted with you a few times and have followed your posts. Do you worry ever, a seed, that her use may affect your sobriety? You've worked so hard for your one year, I just though I'd check and see that both younfeet are placed stubbornly in the ground on this one.
Wendy
Corissa, I have chatted with you a few times and have followed your posts. Do you worry ever, a seed, that her use may affect your sobriety? You've worked so hard for your one year, I just though I'd check and see that both younfeet are placed stubbornly in the ground on this one.
Wendy
Thanks Wendy for looking out!
I can tell you with 100% certainty that I would NEVER resort back to my old ways.... I just wish I had this attitude when I was a dealer (sorry to be so bold and honest but it's the truth and sometimes people need to hear it) because when I did the math, I would have owned 2 homes in Florida already.... OK, the bad ME is gone again....
Once in the past, I went on vacation to Florida with my girl and we had planned on going for 14 days...we stayed for 21 and it wasn't until 11 days in that I knew we were staying longer... I didn't have enough methadone to last... as a joke I would lick her arm (where the patch was) until she got the message... I was so sick without it that she broke down and gave me a patch... It made me soooooo sick. I felt disgusting on it. For that reason, I have never craved them since.
Ill be honest once again. This may be the first time I am about to admit this but I am addicted to methadone... I didn't realize it until recently but I have traded several NASTY addictions for this ONE. I don't crave the "hard" drugs but I can't go more than one day without my drink. I don't even want to come off of it knowing the addictive personality that I have.
Methadone is just a government regulated narcotic that generates revenue and of course keeps bad people from doing bad things (at least it should) but without it, I'd be right back to heroin and cocaine (in a new york minute).
I had this incredible craving to shoot cocaine the other day but I didn't have any so that was a good sign.... I can honestly say that if I ever gave in, it would be the last day of my living existence. I would just overdose and be done because that's how strongly against it I am.
Last edited by corissa3; 08-09-2011 at 03:29 PM.
The following user gives a hug of support to corissa3: Wendy88 (08-09-2011)
Word up for that honesty, there. You are doing really well. I haven't taken methadone, probably should... But look, the way I see it, even though you have a habit now w it, which is better, that or coke and H? I've done them both and yes, they sure as hell are fun for a while... Til your heart is beating out of your chest, or one night on H, I kept forgetting to breathe! what that was about I don't know.... But man, if those drinks keep you here and alive and safe from the hard drugs, which WILL kill you, then don't think about it agan.
Maybe at some point in your life... Way way in the future, you may think, I'm not a year sober, I'm 25 years sober and I feel like going off meth in a safe surroundings with a ton of support, maybe a sober companion for a while, and see. But a year out is not the time. I think you are just on schedule and doing really good. If, with your personality type, you are gonna trade one addiction for another, well thank whomever (I'm not religious so when I get to that part of the sentence, it gets awkward! Ha!) .... That it's methadone and not coke or H.
Keep on keeping on. And much luck to you and your lady. I'm having relationship issues as well and they sure ain't fun....
Wendy
__________________ my issues have issues!
Last edited by Administrator; 08-21-2011 at 09:45 AM.
I'm honestly not trying to drag this thread out but I can tell you how I will never forgive myself for how I made my girl, mother and myself feel.
At the time of my arrest, my mom was riding shotgun and had no idea what was going on. When they took her into custody, they realized she was not quite with it... she has depression issues and with her was her dog...or SON I should say... I had dropped her at home 1 hour before but felt bad and asked her to come to the mall then I would bring her home... big mistake. Anyway they took her dog and told her they were putting it in the pound to be put down.... I will NEVER forgive the police for this.. the look of terror on my moms face still brings tears to my eyes...she didn't deserve that and I was soooo helpless (in the cell directly in front of her). I watched her cry and they wouldn't stop messing with her about her dog... If there were a fire while I was at her place and the dog and I were asleep and she had one shot of getting one of us out.... the dog would be there for my funeral for sure lol.
Anyway, for those reasons I could never go back. I don't want to disappoint anyone ever again.
Wendy, you mentioned that both h and c are fun at first, and I couldn't agree more... I don't know what it is about c that I have such a hard time letting go. I think about it every single day and its not getting any easier.
Oddly, now that I think about it...... I am having serious relationship issues and the worse they are, the more I think about using.... whoa, Im having a moment.
Yeah I'm going thru that now. I've been sober, aka my oxy script ran out two weeks early and I'm on a supervised morphine taper... But all this fighting etc is making me want to use. Like me feeling, man I need a break. I need to get high and escape this negativity. Feel high, feel nothing. Both sound fine. Of course we all know nothing will change a few hours later when we come down, but still...
I'm also coming off effexor, it's an SNRI and a very hard one to come off of. I a tually Think its the hardest one f its type to come off of. I'll cry looking at an old lady on TV or at how cute my cats are paying. That doesn't help me in the wanting to get high dept. I'm kind if in a fragile state. It's really great. . I can't believe my fiancé hasn't 5150d me or just packed up and left. Coming off effexor is the worst.
But i digressed.... Without our litte helpers, i guess it's about surviving emotional pressure without the escape of drugs , which we use to lean on. Prob why some of us started in the first place. I mean, im an equal opportunity drug lover. Well, not acid and that crap. Yuck. But, i think i originally liked them cause i was never comfortable being expressive, verbally. Take that away and when something big happens, like something in your personal life that u can't control, man, it brings up that urge. Cause otherwise u have to rely on yourself. And wasn't that what drugs helped us with?
It's like ( not to get graphic) but when you are young and use to only having sex drunk or high. Then one day it doesn't work out that way. SCARY! Lol. See I told you I was a little looney. But I think it still makes sense.
About c, yeah I have a hard time letting go of that one too. I love the process of it, the whole procedure.... The feeling. It's very evil. Although I sure have seen some lovely sunrises!
I think a wise funny man once said " cocaine is a helluva drug!"
I hope u are doing ok! I can't believe they treated your mom like that. rockin on!
Wendy
__________________ my issues have issues!
Last edited by Administrator; 08-21-2011 at 09:46 AM.
Wendy, you mentioned that both h and c are fun at first, and I couldn't agree more... I don't know what it is about c that I have such a hard time letting go. I think about it every single day and its not getting any easier.
Oddly, now that I think about it...... I am having serious relationship issues and the worse they are, the more I think about using.... whoa, Im having a moment.
I definitely hear where your coming from, cause I just had a few spats w the gf (she just got home from vacation and started in w complaint after complaint). And yeah, I thought 'what did I used to do when I got this mad?'. But I let it subside, and I calmed down heh.
But about the methadone. I see it as a great deterent from going to areas where we used to score, and/or meeting with people who are not healthy for us in the long run, ie. dealers and other addicts. Also the fact that one isnt really getting 'high' on methadone, its combatting pain, and that should be all.
But more power to you man, for being in your situation and coping. I am picking up the pieces to my life as we speak. I almost lost it all a few months ago (had about 10 problems to sort out), and now im only down to one problem---getting my job back. And that is looking on the ups. When im using, everything is bad, and when im clean, I can deal with life.
(I had a C dream the other night, and just as I was about to use.....I woke up)
Re: My girl is addicted to fentynal? Or is she? 
my issues have issues!
. I can't believe my fiancé hasn't 5150d me or just packed up and left. Coming off effexor is the worst.
