updating quite a bit cuz some maybe curious and it could even save someones life. even if its just one person then my story will have been a success. lunch break, feelin GREAT. its offical, 2 weeks, longest ever, no cravings cuz i know ill feel like crap, so guilty and wont get a high, even if i did it would be over in a new york minute. gona catch my first n.a meeting friday. sleep helped big time, energy, alertness, mood wayyyy up from just yesterday.
how long you sleep last night? and yeah it helps to show day by day how it can be done. if its someones first time going through it too, it is usually the unknown stuff that makes the days more difficult.
2 weeks is awesome. when we start to go through it, it seems almost impossible, but just think how many times youve had the flu for a week.
i remember when I was trying to get the 'habit' part out of my mind, I made a new game of 'acquiring clean days'. got a sense of accomplishment as every day went by.
can you guess what time it is? lol, anyway i ended up gettin a total of 7 hours. anything over 5 and i should be good, forgot to brew my tea for the morning so this lil wake up call is a blessing in disguise. gettin ready to sack out now. oh ya same here, im for sure getting more prouder and confident each passing day of clean time. new sense of freedom for not having to rely on a med. especially since i officially off as long as ive ever been. im already way more social with friends co workers and family. i hope they dont think that im now ON drugs, how ironic that would be. i can see the changes in my self. im the one now engaging in conversations instead of avoiding them. still exercising from home then taking some walks, baby steps as far as that goes but as long as ur headin in the right direction.
tried to sack out but couldnt tonite. thats ok though, its part of the process. in fact i had to get up extra early this morning anyway i have to take an online class for work, should be intresting how that goes
i have a theory on this sleep thing, and this could just be my personal experience. i go to bed, ive noticed the time doesnt really matter, could be as early as 7am to 10pm but i fall asleep real quick, most likely from the deprivation, ur body/mind has no choice but to give in. it may only be for a few hours, but its just enough to keep me goin. for some reason i keep waking up while im dreaming around 1, which would be around my 1st or
2nd R.E.M cycle. maybe the dreams are too intense/too over active even in deep sleep and causes me to wake up as the brain fog lifts, my mind is very active, even now when i should be dead tired. flopped like a fish for 3 hours,and when i realized i had to get up in another, i figured might as well! cant help but think of alot of things, almost all postive, things i want to do again, mostly things that i USED to do,i have a burning desire to do them again. family and some friends that i have abandoned. i could go on and on, just ALOT. but its a good thing. its like my brain is wakin up after 7 years and goin oh ok, back to reality, good deal! and this too will settle as the time passes.
almost the weekend, and christmas, i couldnt give myself a better gift than what im doing now. for the first time in along time, i can truely say iam PROUD of myself.
Your updates are so uplifting! Your continuing progress is a Christmas Blessing touching you, your family and all around you. I so admire yor commitment and determination. Applauding especially your plan to get to a meeting Friday night. Take all the positives from it and incorporate them into your thinking.
I continue to walk beside you with hope and prayer. Looks like I may have to get some running shoes soon to keep up with you. :-)
God bless you in all your efforts
The following user gives a hug of support to reachout: icehouse3z (12-22-2011)
The Following User Says Thank You to reachout For This Useful Post: icehouse3z (12-22-2011)
Goodmornin! Earrrly mornin but to be up at 2:30 is now normal considering i sacked out at 6:30, slept 4 hours straight, woke up, restroom, turned heater on went right back to sleep, woke up at 2:30. heck YES ill take those 7 hours! thats almost like a regular nights sleep, just need to get it back to a more normal pattern and that will also fall into place like everything else is as my old self is reindrouced
Last edited by icehouse3z; 12-23-2011 at 04:00 AM.
Reason: computer crashed! maybe IT needs some sleep.
computer crashed on me, luckly i reacted quick enough to copy and save. had way to many programs goin on, sometimes you just have to 'reboot' .
anyway, continuing from above.......a more normal pattern and that will also fall into place like everything else is as my old self is reindrouced back into reality/life, so nice to have my real emotions back, heck i dont even think i had any for so long, they were not real thats for sure. glad i got the rest as ill be going to my n.a meeting tonite, very much looking forward to it, and thats when the real recovery begins, you gotta reach out to other people, finally convinced this cannot be done alone. ill be able to focus and think much more clearly than i did on that test i had to take. boy that was a ruff go! but we have some time to learn, thank goodness.
wow, its gona be a great thing spending the holidays and new year as myself, participating in life instead of watching it through a tv screen.
well i have about 4 hours to kill before work, time to start doin some pushups and situps.
wow, went to the meeting, very awesome! kinda what i expected but not really if that makes sense. overall great, and felt like i left with even more hope, as a newbie i mostly listened but i did tell my story, great support! made some new buds. somethin ill DEFINATELY be stickin with!! i can see how this is a MUST if you REALLY wana QUIT!
"If you really want to do something then you will find a way, if not, then you will find an excuse."
ill be heading up to my sisters place in a few, like i did exactly a year from now. except this time ill be there with a clear head and a happy heart. cant wait to see the niece and nephew, i love those kids as if they were my own. couldnt help but be nostalgic this morning, thinking of being at my grandmas when i was around there age, i remember it like it was yesterday and i can actually feel their excitement.
its there if you want it, its very much worth it. these boards have helped me a lot. the meetings will now be a habit. ill be around but not as much time inside the house/online. i have a lot of unfinished business to take care of.
you can do it, i never thought this day would come but it has, i quit on Dec. 7th for some reason, wasnt really planned to land on that day, 7's my new favorite/lucky number.
hello, first, christmas was AWESOME! wow wayyy different than last year. so cool.
slept pretty decent past 2 nites. tonite, not so much. but thats ok i got a few hours, i'll survive. id say im in the PAW's stage. this is all new to me. it will have been 3 weeks tomorrow. feelin pretty good over all. been eating good, started weight lifting again. feels good to feel that burn again and the good kind of soreness. not gona over do it right now because your body can only build/repair muscle when you sleep decent. did some lifting xmas during the afternoon and im still pretty sore but its the good/healthy kind and pales in comparison to the w/d aches. it is slowly getting better though. may switch over to some cardio workouts. im not gona look back at the woulda coulda shoulda's. im getting my confidence back and this experience just will make me physically/mentally stronger than i was before. in the end, i'll be gettin the last laugh over those dang pills. cravings? i can honestly say no. but iam prepared for that if/when it happens. thats where i now can see the meetings play a huge part. do i think about them, yes. all the time? no. but this is normal. cant wait to enter the new year sober.
its a great feeling not having to worry about my next dose, the clock watching, what kind of excuse i can use this month for an early fill. iam just really seeing the big picture of how the drugs eventually can and will strip you of everything.
22 days baby with a new year and me around the corner! actually had a near normal nites sleep. sacked out at 8am, woke up to use restroom at 12, back to bed and woke up at 4:30. just got get in the habit of goin to bed a little later. also the night before was ruff and i did some weightlifting after work so i was wiped out. might keep doin the exercise after work a habit, probably helped with sleep. gona catch another meeting this friday. and its another 3 day weekend, yes! im just motivated to do so much its like i cant do it fast enough, ive already reached out and gotten back in touch with a long lost aunt, as well as some friends. lookin forward to seein em again. bike riding fishing, women, look for a better job in my field, take better care of my health, church. the list goes on.
Just need to post this cuz its true, for a natural endorphin rush, eat somethin spicy, probably the hotter the better. i looked it up online and theres absolutely something to it. i just had a couple of peppercini's probably screwed up the spelling but u know what mean. WOW, natural high. right help somebody that needs to get things jump started.