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Old 02-07-2012, 08:42 PM   #1
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I feel like I'm living with an addict

I've been clean and sober for 23 years. I rented a room to someone who had 3 months clean in July, started morphine and percocet in october for back pain, legit. had surgery for herniated disc on Jan 5. she is now on percocet, valium, with gabbopaten and other non-narotics. My question is this: 4 weeks after surgery should she still need all these narcotics? she says she tells the dr everything and he continues the meds. I see her passing out - sometimes unconscious, slurring her words, wobbly on her feet, etc. etc.
My rental policy is no alcohol and no drugs. I feel like i'm living with an addict - but how can I tell if I'm expecting too much to fast?

 
Old 02-07-2012, 11:12 PM   #2
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Re: I feel like I'm living with an addict

Hi Peg

First off, congratulations on 23 years of a restored life. Good for you!

I can sure understand your no drug policy and am sure staying totally away from any users is a steadfast policy for you. I have never had any kind of back surgery so I do not know how long one should expect to be on pain meds after it. However, I do know that if someone is wobbly on their feet and passing out, then they are surely using too much of the meds at a a time and drug abuse is a probability.

You mention this person as having 3 months clean so I am assuming there has been some degree of discussion about drug abuse and addiction between the two of you. I would suggest that you approach her and be honest. tell her what you have noticed in her behaviour and flat out let her know that it is making you uncomfortable.

Let her know that if the drug haze behaviour continues, then it is time for her to consider living elsewhere. Your own sobriety does not need to be tested and she needs to get that message loud and clear.

Quite honestly, with only a few months sobriety behind her, she may well be relapsing and falling into old ways. You are her landlord and not her sponsor. Do not feel guilty if you need to ask her to leave. Set the boundaries and stick to them. If her behaviour continues to look like drug abuse to you, then enforce your policy.

Good wishes
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Old 02-08-2012, 09:42 AM   #3
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Re: I feel like I'm living with an addict

I in no way know this person's pain level but I do know when I had surgery they at first gave me enough pills to get high. The pain was there but I would find myself taking more than needed.

 
Old 02-08-2012, 03:31 PM   #4
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Re: I feel like I'm living with an addict

Quote:
Originally Posted by pegk88 View Post
I've been clean and sober for 23 years. I rented a room to someone who had 3 months clean in July, started morphine and percocet in october for back pain, legit. had surgery for herniated disc on Jan 5. she is now on percocet, valium, with gabbopaten and other non-narotics. My question is this: 4 weeks after surgery should she still need all these narcotics? she says she tells the dr everything and he continues the meds. I see her passing out - sometimes unconscious, slurring her words, wobbly on her feet, etc. etc.
My rental policy is no alcohol and no drugs. I feel like i'm living with an addict - but how can I tell if I'm expecting too much to fast?
Hello pegk88,

Your 23 years clean and sober showed you the warning signs and whether or not this is a cry for help(assuming this is) please remember what reachout has stated.......

Your role is landlord, not sponsor.

It appears that she's struggling with it all but it's not your place to right her wrongs(other than in landlord/tenant court).

I've had lumbar surgery and have been through a myriad of medications but it would be unfair to compare my tolerance with your tenants.

Respectfully
Phoenix
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Old 02-09-2012, 08:17 AM   #5
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Re: I feel like I'm living with an addict

Thank you so much for your post! I've had the 'honesty' talk with her 3 times, and it seems that the last one finally got through to her - right before I made my post. I was doubting my own perceptions of reality and not "knowing how much pain" she was in, yet not believing her words, makes everything so confusing. After talking to friends in the program and having them observe her I was more confident that my feelings were correct. Trust your gut and to thine own self be true. The next day she turned her oxycodone over to me and went back on her tramadol. So for so good. She wasn't going to meetings but I will suggest she start and get a sponsor. Thanks again!

 
Old 02-09-2012, 08:32 AM   #6
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Re: I feel like I'm living with an addict

Thank you for your post! I know she was taking the "prescribed" amount for two weeks because she put me in charge of her meds. I told her she was overmedicated because of what I was seeing and she did, under my insistance, make a med review appt with her dr. But, when we got there she didn't let me go in with her and came out with the same prescriptions and dosage! She even had the dr write me a note to that affect! I turned everything back over to her so I don't know if she was taking them correctly after that or not. Before that, and now after her second appt with the dr she admits that she can't remember when she's taken them or how much. I did call the dr. and let him know that I was no longer her caretaker and not in charge of her meds, which I think is why she had the second appt. If you can read my earlier response to my first response ( does that make sense?) then you can see the update of this situation. Thanks again for your post!

 
Old 02-09-2012, 08:39 AM   #7
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Re: I feel like I'm living with an addict

Thanks for your post! Yes, I told her 3 times that she could not live here if she was abusing her scripts. the trouble is she was taking them as prescribed! whatever she told the doctor (and I don;t believe she was being honest!) he wouldn't decrease the script. Looks like we have passed the "hump" though. Thanks again!

 
Old 02-09-2012, 10:59 AM   #8
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Re: I feel like I'm living with an addict

Ok even if she is taking them as prescribed her dr probably does not see her when she is "high" from the meds. Just because a doctor writes a prescription for a certain amount doesn't mean it's correct. I'm sure I could go into an emergency clinic and fake something and come out with a script. Does that mean I'm not abusing it because a doctor wrote it? Me thinks not

 
Old 02-18-2012, 08:43 AM   #9
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Re: I feel like I'm living with an addict

Thanks! And there in is my delimma. My rental agreement states that if you use alcohol or drugs it is immediate eviction. I can't prove that she is abusing her drugs when she takes them as prescribed. She did turn her oxycodone over to me and said that "she'd find a way to live with the pain" (so manipulating!) but she didn't want to find a new place to live. I kept it for a day and a half then (call me stupid if you want) I turned it back over to her. I told her that I was not goig to be responsible for her going cold turkey, that I was not her doctor, that she needed to be monitored to go off, AND that what upset me was the addict behavior and that I was afraid that she was in relapse. she immediately took one and has been since, and passing out. I called 911 on her but she knocked the tv tray over while she was passed out and it brought her to before they got here. she played her games and they didn't take her. Said it sounded like a problem between the two of us and we needed to work it out. She later said that I knocked the table over! Anyway it has been tense in the household. I set my boundaries and am keeping to them. I/m ggoing to give her eviction notice for 30 days and maybe she will straighten up or at least she'll be gone. I'm praying for her and friends are too. Hate to see anyone go back down that path - but they can't do it in my safe place!

 
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