It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Addiction & Recovery Message Board


Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-14-2012, 11:01 PM   #1
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Wendy88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 501
Wendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB User
Saying hi

Hi guys!
I havent posted since before the holidays. I'm sorry to those I became friendly with for just vanishing. I work like, 10-12 hrs a day as well as being depressed a lot dealing with being alone for the holidays for the first time in over a decade (relationship ended in the fall). I just ended up falling out of the habit of coming here for support and even just for friendship. I'm gonna try and be much better about checking in, using this board and looking to its members, both my old friends and the new ones I hope to make here for support and advice. And of course, to give back.

An update/a lil info on me- I am successfully off morphine. My taper was supervised and it was easy. Although i still take roxycodone so I had opiods in my system which I'm sure softened the blow. I still see a PM doc and have cut out a lot of meds from what i use to take. But my devil drug is still there. In fact it increased by two pills a day since im still having pain issues with my neck.

I take 6 15 mg of roxys a day,(180 a month) which is my prescribed dose. I still break that daily dose sometimes, (i have my pills in a monthly separator so I can at least see what I'm doing) as I struggle with this drug, but I try to not blow through them like i use to cause then i run out in like 2 weeks (so easy for me to do) and then have awful withdrawals. I need them for my migraines (not daily) but also daily for my neck issues from a problem I had last year. But I know I have a problem with pills. I have for years. I need them medically but abuse them.
I take 1.5 or two pills on my way to work (a really stressful high powered job, but the stress makes my neck worse so it's needed, but I could probably get by without...,) and then I take another one or two in the afternoon and then the rest after work to chill out.

These pills help a lot, but man do they hurt. They are so destructive, even with their benefits. It's hard to know all this and still reach for them. To care but to have a part of you not care. It's crazy.

Anyhow thanks for listening/ reading my long babbling post. As always I appreciate it. I'm humbled to be sharing the board with so many leaders, successes, people who are trying, struggling or just beginning. The fact that you are even here speaks for itself. Keep fighting!
Wendy
__________________
my issues have issues!

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 02-14-2012, 11:20 PM   #2
Facilitator
(male)
 
Phoenix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 3,852
Blog Entries: 33
Phoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB User
Re: Saying hi

Hello Wendy

Good to hear from you.

Try not to be so hard on yourself and remember that perfection is overrated.

Know that we are all here,fighting the good fight in a war that factors in collateral damage every now and then.

I too, am humbled to be around so many and will even go a step further to say i'm honored to be a member of healthboards(tm).

Respectfully stated,
Phoenix
__________________
When in doubt, post it out.

 
Old 02-14-2012, 11:31 PM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Wendy88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 501
Wendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB User
Re: Saying hi

Phoenix!!! Yay! So good to see your name and hear from you. How are you doing? I hope well.
Yeah I tend to expect perfection from myself. My mom is always asking me to go easier on myself. (not about this topic...just other stuff)... I try but it's hard. But hey, life is a growing process, right? It's hard to remember that sometimes.
Be well! So happy to hear from you!
Wendy
__________________
my issues have issues!

 
Old 02-15-2012, 06:13 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,400
reachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB User
Re: Saying hi

Hello wendy

Welcome home. :-)

Good news concerning the morphine taper. Good for you. The "blow may have been softened," but still took discipline and getting off such a powerful drug is never a cakewalk. I think the discipline from that and the mindset it took is going to serve you well in not abusing the pain meds now. Mom is right... take it easy on yourself!

Hope to see you checking in and keeping us updated. We are like good old friends to one another here... time may pass, but we pick up where we left off with an easiness that is great. :-)

Again, welcome home
reach

Last edited by reachout; 02-16-2012 at 07:01 AM. Reason: sp

 
Old 02-15-2012, 09:52 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Wendy88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 501
Wendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB User
Re: Saying hi

Thanks Reach! I respect you so much.... where you are now, where you've been. You always have very good heartfelt advice, and having some of that written to me means a lot. Everything you said is true. And you know... after my morphine taper I still had tons left and I didn't take them. I even had the choice for a slower taper and I didn't do that either, so I was really proud of myself. I know I have work to do on the roxys, but you guys are right, I DO need to give myself credit for what I HAVE done.

Thanks for the welcome back! It means a lot and it feels really good to BE back. I know I belong here.
I trust you are doing well, Reach?

Wendy
__________________
my issues have issues!

 
Old 02-16-2012, 07:08 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,400
reachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB User
Re: Saying hi

Heya Wendy

Thanks for the nice words, :-)

I am doing well, thank you for asking. Wendy, for me it is no longer any kind of battle, but rather a lifestyle. Sobriety. I stay here, however, because I will always need the reminders and connections to maintain the lifestyle and am well aware of that. I guess that is why I so often write that none of us can be an island in this. Support is vital for each of us always.

Glad you can recognize and credit yourself for doing a good job. "That's a good thing." :-)

reach ( quoting Martha Stewart!!)

 
The Following User Says Thank You to reachout For This Useful Post:
Wendy88 (02-20-2012)
Old 02-16-2012, 10:53 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Wendy88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 501
Wendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB User
Re: Saying hi

Ha! Nothing wrong with quoting a little Martha! Sign me up for a shopping spree with her bank account!

Seeing family this weekend. That's always good for me. We are close and they are amazing people. When my weekends are slow, even though I need it cause I work so hard and long all week, I can easily take extra pills. But if I'm with family or friends, it's harder.
The roxys have made me less social. I also got depressed because my long term relationship ended and im getting use to that. Its been a rough road, and instead of reaching out, I went in.
Im now starting to purposely make plans here to get out and just not hole up in my place when I'm not at work. it's so soooo easy to decompress that way. Gotta remember it's a big world out there... but when your addicted to drugs, your life is only as big as that drug. And let me tell you, Roxys are tiny!
Well, happy almost Friday to y'all!!! Wooo hooo!!!!
Wendy
__________________
my issues have issues!

 
Old 02-17-2012, 12:07 AM   #8
Facilitator
(male)
 
Phoenix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 3,852
Blog Entries: 33
Phoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB User
Re: Saying hi

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wendy88 View Post
Gotta remember it's a big world out there... but when your addicted to drugs, your life is only as big as that drug.
Wendy......

Wow and wow!!!

I needed to take a few moments to both see and feel the words from this statement you posted.

I can easily get caught up in my own "world" and a little stroll down memory lane does this mind wonders(at times).

Anyhoo.....

You enjoy spending time with your family this weekend and i'll be there(in spirit) to help keep you on track.Next time you open the prescription bottle you will see the words "phoenix says so," smile a bit and you'll take as directed.(Hey a guy can dream can't he?)

Seriously though,you can do what you put your mind to.

Be good to yourself.

Respectfully
Phoenix
__________________
When in doubt, post it out.

Last edited by Phoenix; 02-17-2012 at 11:45 PM.

 
Old 02-19-2012, 09:26 PM   #9
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Wendy88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 501
Wendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB User
Re: Saying hi

Hi Phoenix!
I hope u are doing well this weekend. I've had a good one.
I'm glad you liked/ appreciated that "world" observation. I think it's so easy for us all to get caught up in out own world. And memory lane can be a very grounding place to visit...an important place to visit. I hope you felt good seeing where you were and how far you have come.... how helpful you are to all of us here.

I only brought a certain amount of meds on my trip so there are only so many I can take in a day as long as im disciplined. Since I'm on "vacation" i knew if I brought my bottle I'd have all sorts of excuses to take way too many. So I brought my prescribed daily amount and 4 extra for a migraine emergency. I've basically stayed on track. I took 2 extra yesterday and .5 extra today but that's way less than if I stayed at home and I still have my full day tomorrow plus 1.5 and didn't blow through them, which is good. Really good for me since I'm really trying to control them.

Hey does Corissa post here anymore? Last time I was here he seemed to be having issues with the methadone and I didn't know if he was back to using or posting trying to work thru stuff... Or if he isn't around. He is just a great funny guy and I'm rooting for him, so I thought I'd ask.

Be good Phoenix! Thx for giving me a lil chuckle!
talk soon!
Wendy


I also have some coke contacts here, but haven't contacted and won't be contacting any
of them. That's always so tempting for me, so I'm
proud that I resisted.
__________________
my issues have issues!

 
Old 02-20-2012, 01:23 AM   #10
Facilitator
(male)
 
Phoenix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 3,852
Blog Entries: 33
Phoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB User
Re: Saying hi

Wendy,

Thanks for the sentiments.

In an effort to "find" myself,i'm trying a few things out;venturing down some cautious pathways in order to meet up with that forgotten yet familiar stranger;me.

Trying to realize both my strengths and its' nemesis,in an attempt to find some semblance of stability in my life.......

but enough about me........

I like the fact that you took only a certain amount of pills with you and hope that it helped you better weigh your needs against your wants,so that forward progress will ensue.

As far a "C-breeze"(named appropriately because his posts were a breath of fresh air at times)I haven't seen him posting but hope all is well with him and he is at least lurking every now and then.He was going through some turbulent times and I truly hope that he has weathered the "stormy weather" for the most part.

I didn't know that you had numbers of soda distributors still(coke or pepsi;i'll let you decide).

Please take into account that you don't need to contact the "distributors" as they often have ways of contacting you (once your number shows on their caller id).

In closing,let allow me to post the words of my uncle:

"Be good and if you can't be good be careful."

Respectfully stated,

Phoenix
__________________
When in doubt, post it out.

 
Old 02-20-2012, 02:24 AM   #11
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Wendy88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 501
Wendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB User
Re: Saying hi

Howdy!
That's an excellent quote! Love ut and I'm gonna use it.
You know, where I am this weekend I don't have numbers, but my friends could hook me up if I asked them. I'm just resisting asking. And I know I won't do it. I know I have enough on my plate...

If you don't mind me asking, When you said what you said about needing stability, is that a general statement or are you going through something in particular? Not that you have to share what that is.... just remember that we are all here, cause those times are tough when you're use to numbing yourself....even if it was a long time ago.
Chat soon
W
__________________
my issues have issues!

 
Old 02-20-2012, 03:00 AM   #12
Facilitator
(male)
 
Phoenix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 3,852
Blog Entries: 33
Phoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB UserPhoenix HB User
Re: Saying hi

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wendy88 View Post
If you don't mind me asking, When you said what you said about needing stability, is that a general statement or are you going through something in particular? Not that you have to share what that is.... just remember that we are all here, cause those times are tough when you're use to numbing yourself....even if it was a long time ago.
Chat soon
W
Wendy,

The question is when am I not going through something.........

Here goes: I have PTSD,depression,failed back surgery syndrome,further degenerative discs both in the lumbar and cervical regions,left leg neuropathy,overactive bladder,high blood pressure,have had a spinal cord stimulator both implanted and removed.

Though I'm on meds for it seems like everything under the sun,I live in constant pain and wake up in a bad mood every day.My sleep meds don't seem to work and everything has been offered that "big pharma" has to offer............

Just a few things mentioned,as this isn't my thread but thank you for asking.

I don't know....maybe i'll begin a thread.

How are you doing?

Respectfully
Phoenix
__________________
When in doubt, post it out.

 
Old 02-21-2012, 12:24 AM   #13
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Wendy88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 501
Wendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB UserWendy88 HB User
Re: Saying hi

I'm gonna check out yer thread so ill comment there... but thank you for sharing. I'm glad u did. I didn't know u had so much going on but hopefully I can be of some help as you have been to me.
I have degenerative disk disease. It's such a bummer. I can throw put my back picking up a feather! But it's been ok for a while ( knock on wood).

Im doing ok. long weekend was good. Just not working for a few days was HUGE for me. I'm home hanging out, trying to relax. I'm a terrible sleeper. I just got a sound machine so wish me luck with that!! A very close friend of mine is seriously sick, and we got to see each other this weekend... so im having trouble turning off my mind. I can feel the anxiety in my chest ( I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder) but even though I have prescribed anti anxiety meds, which i have no issues with, I dont want to take them. I don't know why. I guess I'll see if I feel better after writing this and if it persists another 30 minutes, I'll have to take one or I'll be up all night.
You feel very powerless when someone is sick with something like cancer. You can just do what you can for them but you cant fix it...

It must be how others feel looking at us- as in peeps who have addiction issues, especially if they do not - like we are sick and they can only do so much. of course, the most frustrating part is that with help we can overcome our issues. It's gotta be so hard for people on the outside to watch.

Anyhow I'm half thing out loud, galf just rambling... but I needed somewhere to get out some of this.

W
__________________
my issues have issues!

 
Closed Thread




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Hydrocodone
Lortab
Methadone
Oxycontin
Percocet
  Tylenol
Ultram Valium
Vicodin
Xanax




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Phoenix (150), katlin09 (108), reachout (100), Wendy88 (36), second go (36), oxygirl (34), corissa3 (32), Tysmom1 (24), icehouse3z (24), bolter (21)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1013), Apollo123 (909), Titchou (857), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (755), midwest1 (671), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:49 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!