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Old 02-28-2012, 08:02 AM   #1
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Here I go, Detox and scared

Ive been posting here and there and reading what others have done or are doing to get off of Oxycodone. I really had no plans to start yesterday, but our insurance changed and I was finally able to see the dr of my choice. The first thing he said was "You need to be off the pain pills"
He gave me a plan, but after reading on here I am a bit apprehensive. I was taking 10mg every 7 hours, and he gave me a new script for the 7.5 and said to take them at the same schedule. In my head i thought, well that is only 2.5 mg, but then when I got home I realized it was 2.5mg PER PILL. That is almost a 1/3 of what I was taking.
I cant do this fast I know, Ive already done a benzo detox before and I am just too afraid of symptoms of withdrawal. Does this seem doable? I am so scared. I have taken 3 (7.5mg) now for a day and can tell already that something is missing.
FEAR sure is an ugly thing. How do you conquer it?

 
Old 02-28-2012, 08:15 AM   #2
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Re: Here I go, Detox and scared

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arianna2 View Post
FEAR sure is an ugly thing. How do you conquer it?
Hello Arianna2,

The only way to conquer fear(notice I didn't put it in caps) is to face it forward,stare it in the face and move forward with conviction.It takes time and effort but is doable if one is committed to the cause.

You can do it.

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Last edited by Phoenix; 02-28-2012 at 08:16 AM.

 
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Old 02-28-2012, 08:38 AM   #3
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Re: Here I go, Detox and scared

Thanks for such a quick reply. I guess I am such a weak person. I wish I could face it like you. I have had PTSD for so many years, Ive just lived, waiting for my next attack. Scared to death, because I knew it would rare its ugly head. Because of this, and the number of years that Ive had it, I have found I am weak in most areas that concern my mind. Body symptoms I can handle, but anxiety, depression, fear... they all paralyze me. I guess it is just nice to be able to vent about something most wouldnt understand or care about. I know I have to do this, I just wish I could be strong enough to not escalate the symptoms. I do know that how I think makes it worse, but knowing it makes no difference. I still do it. I get so mad at myself.. My *logical* brain says... Arianna, geeze it isnt that bad, you can do it. But the rest of me, kicks that logical brain in the *** and takes over. UGH...

Last edited by Mod-S4; 05-30-2012 at 05:33 AM.

 
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Old 02-28-2012, 10:07 AM   #4
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Re: Here I go, Detox and scared

Hello Arianna2,

I also have PTSD and believe me,I know how debilitating it can be.

The constant alertness,intrusive thoughts,etc.,can make for a lousy existence.

I never said this would be easy and even I have difficulty with a lot of the psychological battling the intellect.When the psychological is fighting with the intellect and the body wants to join in,the desirable becomes the miserable and the war has begun for me.

Though i'm 12 years clean of my drug of choice,I still place into perspective where I was and can revisit by simply forgetting where I once traveled.

Of course things are easier said than done.

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Last edited by Phoenix; 02-28-2012 at 11:14 AM.

 
Old 02-28-2012, 12:38 PM   #5
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Re: Here I go, Detox and scared

Wow Phoenix, Just reading your words lifted my sprits a bit. Ive never talked to anyone who has PTSD, but knowing you have been to probably the same places in your mind as me, makes me feel less alone. It really doesnt matter how many people you have around you, if they have never experienced any of this, then they really cant help much. Sure, they can give you hugs and words of support but the feelings associated with all this aren't explainable, as you know. It is only by going through it, can you empathize with someone else. Thanks again

 
Old 02-28-2012, 03:41 PM   #6
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Re: Here I go, Detox and scared

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Originally Posted by Arianna2 View Post
Ive never talked to anyone who has PTSD, but knowing you have been to probably the same places in your mind as me, makes me feel less alone. Thanks again
Arianna2,

Please note if you ever feel the need to compartmentalize,vent,want advice or need any support,there's a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Board here that is well worth looking into.

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Last edited by Phoenix; 02-28-2012 at 04:02 PM.

 
Old 03-03-2012, 09:17 AM   #7
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Re: Here I go, Detox and scared

This is day 5 of my detox. I know that I was only taking 3, 10mg of oxy a day, but dropping down to 3, 7.5mg has been tough. I seem to constantly watch the clock to when I can take the next pill.
My question is.... until my detox is over, will it be like this, or will I stabilize on the 7.5 before I go to 5mg? My doc wants me to stay at 7.5 for a month, then drop to 5mg and so on. Am I just dragging out the misery, or will i have a break before the next onslaught. I am wondering if an every 2 week drop would be doable? My doc got me off benzo's and knows how hard it was on me, but just because that was so bad, does it mean getting off the oxy will be as bad? With everything Ive read on here, the WD doesnt last a month!
Thank God for benadryl, it has been a godsend for my sleep. But it seems that the joint and body pain is only relieved when I take a pill. It doesnt last as long, but i do get a few hours of relief. Im hot, Im cold, and in a constant pity party, which I hate the most. My mind is probably escalating all my symptoms. I hope you dont mind my rambling here, it is a safe place to vent.

 
Old 03-03-2012, 08:52 PM   #8
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Re: Here I go, Detox and scared

The hardest part of withdrawl is always the psychological/emotional part. Dealing with physically withdrawl is managable, but getting through the emotions that follow can feel impossible. The depression,boredom,sadness, anxiety. I was on methadone for 4 years and it really helped me I was on 120mg and tapered down to nothing but after being off for a month I became extremely depressed and overwhelmed by my feelings and went right back to using oxys and heroin. I'm not saying that you should give up or give in and get on methadone but you just have to do whatever it is that is going to make you happy because you are the only one living your life. I am considering getting on suboxone next though I have to be in full withdrawl first so going these next several days with nothing is hard on me. One thing you do know is you have PTSD and that is psychological. Your dependence on pain meds is a reflection of this and you need to get help because having your dr slowly taper you to avoid physical discomfort isn't going to do anything for your mind. Whatever you choose to do do it because it will benefit you not because of what others will think. Hopefully you feel better

Last edited by roxy43; 03-03-2012 at 08:57 PM.

 
Old 03-04-2012, 05:54 AM   #9
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Re: Here I go, Detox and scared

Thanks Roxy for your reply. With me the worst part is the pain in my body, and the unsettled feelings. I was taking the oxy for pain, so now by decreasing the oxy the pain gets worse long before the 8 hours I try to keep my pills apart. It is so hard not to grab just one pain pill at the greater strength... I say to myself.. "just one pill" it cant hurt the taper. This is day 6 and I am not sure I am still in WD or not. Most on here say 4-5 days, and that is going cold turkey! I am just tapering. I can look back at the reasons I have PTSD and realize how much worse it was, but my mind is in the present and I am so incredibly sad

 
Old 03-04-2012, 05:49 PM   #10
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Re: Here I go, Detox and scared

Arianna I'm not sure how long you were on the oxycodone but I recently did a rapid taper (not by choice) by my dr. I had been taking vicodin steadily for about 6 months and after surgery I "didn't need them" (even though I'm sure I could convince myself I did. My dr did a taper of
5 on day one
4 on day 2
3 on day 3....etc

It was rough but not too too bad. Exercising helped alot and staying busy. The more you think you will be miserable the more you will be. Sometimes we just have to force ourselves to get up and go do something good luck and you ARE strong and doing a great job.

 
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Old 03-05-2012, 02:52 PM   #11
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Re: Here I go, Detox and scared

Thanks Gracie for responding, I began on Vicoden, to Norco then to Oxycodone. It has been a year, and i forced myself to take 3 a day except on VERY painful days. As I said in a previous post, I went through a lengthy detox from benzos in my past, and so my doc (same one who got me off the benzos) feels it wouldnt be in my best interest to try to go quickly. This is day 7 and I am still very anxious, not sleeping much etc.. and I only went down from 3 (10's) to
3 (7's) I guess we arent all the same. But with me, I think my mental thinking about the withdrawal is causing me more problems as well.
Seems ignornant, but I am afraid of the symptoms, knowing all too well this will end one day, but having a hard time convincing myself of it. I will continue to do what my doc says. I want to be off of these so badly. I want to see if many of the problems I developed 5 months into starting the pills will go away when I am done with them.
I am so thankful for this site. There are so many in the same boat,and it makes me feel not so alone. This is really the only outlet for me. So, hugs to all who have responded... Pamela

 
Old 03-06-2012, 05:03 PM   #12
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Re: Here I go, Detox and scared

This is day 9 of my slooooooooooooow taper. I am whispering this, but I think I have turned the corner. I was able to actually get up without groans and fears. I say whispering because the pessimist in me seems to over ride the optimist.

My doc wants me to wait another 2 1/2 weeks to drop down to the next lower dose, but now I am getting antsy and want this over. I will wait till 2 full weeks are over and then decide. I dont want to get anxious, but I want, no ... I NEED to be off this oxy.

 
Old 03-06-2012, 05:09 PM   #13
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Re: Here I go, Detox and scared

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arianna2 View Post
This is day 9 of my slooooooooooooow taper. I am whispering this, but I think I have turned the corner. I was able to actually get up without groans and fears. I say whispering because the pessimist in me seems to over ride the optimist.

My doc wants me to wait another 2 1/2 weeks to drop down to the next lower dose, but now I am getting antsy and want this over. I will wait till 2 full weeks are over and then decide. I dont want to get anxious, but I want, no ... I NEED to be off this oxy.
Yes,yes and yes....good for you.

You are on your way.

Please wait and see how your body responds,as I know you also have PTSD to contend with.

Remember i'm in your corner.

Emphatically
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Old 03-06-2012, 07:54 PM   #14
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Re: Here I go, Detox and scared

Tapering is better Ariana anyone who goes cold turkey( quitting altogether at once) seems out of their mind to me. If you are experiencing depression/sadness during a taper you definately want to move slowly. Everyone is different and finds comfort in different things I say spoil yourself during this time( not with more pills) but really don't be afraid to endulge yourself with things that make you feel better. Just make sure it's not alcohol or drugs. You need to establish a comfort zone for yourself and do things that are soothing. When you are wildly depressed or sad it can be hard to find things to make yourself feel better but you really need to take care of you and work on relaxation techniques. I am allergic to the methadone that my clinic is despensing and I have to go cold turkey for the next and a half before I start my suboxone so I understand the sadness that ensues. Whatever you do try not to thing about the big stuff right now things that may be circling your head and talk to your doctor about getting this pain under control because you need to be both physically and mentally at ease. I know my advice is pretty generic but stay in touch on here with how you are doing. Talking can really help

 
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Old 03-07-2012, 10:02 AM   #15
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Re: Here I go, Detox and scared

Hi Roxy, I guess the hardest part of this detox is these extreme cravings to take a pill. I have a schedule and will only take it at 10am, 6pm and 2am. For the first few hours I seem to be ok, but then I am clock watching, my pain isnt any worse, and I am not any sadder, it is just a deep desire for it to be time to take my next pill. I suppose this will happen with each drop, but I cant imagine what will happen when there are no more pills to take.

Actually, it was happening like that on the higher dose. It just wasnt working anymore and I watched that darn clock. What I really wanted was to increase my dosage to stop the pain, and that craving, that awful craving.

So now it is time to drop to the 5mg dosage. I know I will do it, yet am so afraid of those feelings.

 
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