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Old 03-27-2012, 08:59 AM   #1
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how to get through those moments of weakness?

I've been taking 2 percocets (sometimes more but never more than 4) every day for about 3 years. I thought it would just be a matter of finding another pain reliever and slowly weaning off my "self medication". But now I find that I'm lying and stealing to keep myself stocked.

Last night my husband practically broke down because we maxed a credit card in only 2 weeks and he can't seem to figure out why. He's lousy with keeping track of money so taking it was easy. Now I feel like the most horrible wife in all of existance. How could I have done this to him?! For this long?! I lied right to his face, I made up stories! If I came clean he would be so unbelievable devastated.

So, I've made up my mind to try to beat this on my own. I talked to my best friend back home who made me feel a lot better about things. She thinks I can do it and offered herself to some extent. She has her own depression, kids, boyfriend, and problems to deal with. I suppose everyone does....

I looked up percocet addiction online and found a lot of bleak answers. Everything talks about rehab and needing good support system. If I've suffered in silence with the pain, I should be able to suffer through the silence with withdrawal, right?

Can someone tell me what sort of meditation or self talk I need to do to get myself through those moments of weakness? I hold the pill bottle in my hand, sometimes, i put it back, sometimes I put two pills in my pocket and carry it with me til the pain is bad enough. -thing that makes it bad is that I take two at a time, to kill the pain AND to give me that feeling of having tons of energy (something I battle with psychologically I guess). Usually after I take them I line up a bunch of chores to get done and then I do them fast, while dancing, and then I find myself doing extra chores like washing the baseboards. I hate cleaning, which is how these got so addicting in the first place. Does that give me anywhere to start physcologically?

Thanks for listening at the very least

 
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Old 03-27-2012, 03:25 PM   #2
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re: how to get through those moments of weakness?

Hi Becky,

I am at the moment detoxing from Percocet. I went to my Pdoc and he is helping me to get off these pills. He is doing it in a very slow manner, so the withdrawal isn't the worst, which I have to admit, after my first drop is now over, it wasn't as bad as I thought. Going through it, I stressed and hated it etc etc. but now that the first drop is over, I KNOW I will be able to do this. And if you are determined, you can too!! Do you have a Dr. that can help you?

 
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Old 03-27-2012, 05:04 PM   #3
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Re: how to get through those moments of weakness?

Quote:
Originally Posted by luffbecky View Post
Can someone tell me what sort of meditation or self talk I need to do to get myself through those moments of weakness? Usually after I take them I line up a bunch of chores to get done and then I do them fast, while dancing, and then I find myself doing extra chores like washing the baseboards. I hate cleaning, which is how these got so addicting in the first place. Does that give me anywhere to start physcologically?

Thanks for listening at the very least


Hello luffbecky,

You must stay away from the people,places and things that you associate with using.
Whether percocet or any other addiction of a substance,one thing remains true,if you are ever going to get from point A to B.....

Accept that you have a problem and although you may need to rely on others for assistance along the way,it all begins and/or ends with you.

Are you ready to take the first step?

Please feel free to post as often as you need and know that we'll help provide support and advice along the way.

Respectfully
Ryan
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When in doubt, post it out.

 
Old 04-03-2012, 02:47 PM   #4
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Re: how to get through those moments of weakness?

I hope you'll all be proud that I took a big step: I told my husband. He wasn't angry at me like I thought he would be(although he doesn't know how long I've done this), he was sympathetic. I tried explaining why I want them, which he understands, but not that feeling of needing them in order to function.

I'll be seeing a new therapist tomorrow so I'm going to jump right into this issue with her. I'm scared, dreadfully scared. I haven't been able to go without since I wrote the first time. This is going to be so hard.

I am going to stop, I need to. Your words of support mean a lot to me. Thank you so much for welcoming me without judgement )that frightens me too).

 
Old 04-03-2012, 04:19 PM   #5
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Re: how to get through those moments of weakness?

glad to hear you were honest.it will help your relationship and detox.the therapist is a great support .hope you get the advice and help you need.i did the thomas reciepe.i needed all those extra vitamins and minerals and sleep aid.i did start working out after i got feeling better.i needed to keep my mind and body active.you sound ready to quit,its very important to be ready mentally.one day at a time you can do it.good luck.stay positive.

 
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