Re: tryin to go from using to sober
Welcome to the board. :-) It is a great place to learn and to find support as you move towards a restored life without the drugs.
I am going to be straight up with you... there is no way to withdraw after 5 years without the withdrawal interrupting your life. When we decide to make the effort to find sobriety, we need to go into it with eyes wide open and a plan in place for withdrawal and for aftercare.
That said, I would suggest you consider a very slow withdrawal schedule. Make a cut of only 5% from one dose. Stay there for a week to 10 days. Then make a cut from another dose, again only 5% and stay put for a week. ( It would help if we knew what drug, how much, and how often per day). Making cuts like this will, at times, involve crushing pills and eyeballing the cut. Save the crumbs for future doses.
Research breathing techniques and such that will help with the inevitable anxiety. The techniques will help you through and be great tools to add to your arsenault in fighting the addiction. It helped me a great eal to look at each symptom not as a symptom of withdrawing, but rather a symptom of getting better. I had a manta from my doctor... "Every day I am getting better and stronger." I repeated it constantly in my mind and aloud until it was firmly embedded in my brain.
Aftercare.... so many of us withdraw only to relapse because we have not put aftercare into place. This board is great, I love it, but we also need live, 3D support. Whether it be private counseling, AA or NA meetings, we do not succeed on our own. It just doesn't happen. For me, a private Clinical Social worker provided my very best live resource. I had a lot of grief and hurt stuffed down inside of me that I had to face and acknowledge before I could get better and she helped me with that. All addicts are hiding from something that is painful and we self medicate to help us hide. In the end, it is a waste of our time as it ALWAYS catches up with us anyway. My family doctor was also a huge help with the physical part of withdrawal. I worked out a tapering plan with him and, when necessary, we tweaked it together.
We each need to follow the plan most suitable for us personally. Whatever that may be, it needs to be a thorough one. While I tapered, others go cold turkey. Be aware though, that going cold turkey is NOT just 3 days and all is better. Perhaps the worst of the diarreha will pass, but not restless legs and no way the depression. It is more that the severity of feeling like we have been hit by a mack truck starts to recede a bit.
I know how scary this all is. Fear is the biggest factor for all of us as we try and think about life withour the drugs. Funny thing is for us that once we have accomplished it, our only regret is that we have not done it sooner. :-)
Hoping you will stick around and try to work out a thorough plan for you. we will all walk alongside of you.
With all hope