How you doin? found myself thinkin bout you. sounds like your on the upswing. glad you got some rest. i wasnt able to sleep much for the first 2 weeks, and then all the sudden bam, it just came together and ive slept like a rock ever since. the anxiety and depression sucks but it too passes. careful though, its what ends up sucking alot of people back in. you sound determined which is what you need and i have a feelin ur gona do it
were you ever able to do your friends hair? if so wow, major props. no way i could do that so soon, i wasnt able to shave for about 5 days and was turning into a grizzly bear. the thought of me cutting somebodys hair in w/d's is a scary thought, more so for them than me haha.
Ice- ur funny! Yes I managed to do her hair and it actually dide some good to get out of the house! I'm tatting to think that just sitting around is the worst thing I can do. I still have lots of anxiety but the depression seems to have lifted. My son is truly what keepse going. I haven't made a meeting yet, but did talk to a few people I used to know from meetings and I let them know how I am and what's been going on with me. They were super supportive!
It's funny that you said you were thinking of me cuz I thought of you too. Of how helpful you've been and how I can't wait to say I have for months too! I will get there! One day at a time. It seems like mornings are the hardest for me. I don't know why though. I have a dr appt tomorrow again just to follow up and see how the clonidine has worked.
Thanks so much for all your kind words and your support. Keep it coming, it really helps!!!
you bet buddy, im with ya. im simply passing the torch of hope and proof that no matter how many times you fall you can still pick yourself back up and become the person you once were. mornings are tough, we've reached for that bottle of pills first thing in the morning before we could open our eyes. it gets easier as time goes on. keep your eyes on the prize. your doing it, keep it up kid
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: icehouse3z Phoenix (04-17-2012), Tysmom1 (04-17-2012)
The Following User Says Thank You to icehouse3z For This Useful Post: Tysmom1 (04-17-2012)
Hi ice and all! Today is a good day. My anxiety seems to be very low, if any at all. It's a beautiful 70 degrees and sunny. I'm going to take my son for a walk again (we do it everyday, weather permitting). I'm starting to feel like myself again. Not completely but little by little. You were right ice, it does get better. It's getting over that first 4-5 days that sucks!!! But as you said "I'm on the upswing". I bought some NA literature and am reading it as I get time. Sunday I got to see my nephews play with my son. I've ne'er done that clean. It wad nice to laugh and know that it came from a place of serenity rather than chemically induced!! I'm so excited for this chapter of my life that is just beginning. I'll keep ya posted an you do the same! Lots of love - kelly
Icehouse! u are doing so great!!! I haven't been on the boards for several weeks and what a nice thing to come on tonight and see such good news!
Keep up the good work!
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The Following User Says Thank You to Wendy88 For This Useful Post: icehouse3z (04-18-2012)
Ice- Wendy is right! You are doing great. Today is gonna be a very long hard day for me. I got exactly zero sleep. I just kept tossing and turning but I was so tired. I didn't have the rls so I don't know what the deal was. I just know it's 430am and I decided to just get up since the baby will be up in like an hour anyway. Hopefully I'll catch some z's when he takes his morning nap from 930-1130. That would be great!
On a brighter note, my sister and I went for a walk for an hour and a half yesterday with my son and her lab. It was gorgeous out and the exercise made me feel better. I can't wait to get back in the gym. I used to love it before I found pills. That's what going to do may 1st. Join a gym. It's my new goal! I felt so much better when I worked out too. I don't need to lose weight but my body sure could use a good toning!!!
Hope you have a great day today! Lots of love, kelly
the sleep thing will straighten itself out. its so nice getting out of bed feeling like i got hit by a mack truck. exercise or just plain getting out and getting fresh air will do wonders. youll notice things, like birds again! sounds silly to most people but thats because they take it for granted. after living in a cloud, and it certainly wasnt # 9 for about 7 years i appriciate the lil things alotttt more. i so easily could have O/D'd on many times. the man upstairs must be keepin me around for some reason, its time i make the most of it.
So it figures. I have got excruciating pain on my back and hips. Couldn't sleep because of it. And I absolutely refuse to get pk's! Aleve, Tylenol, and Motrin haven't touched it. I can't sit or walk or stand without being in pain! What the heck! I feel like I'm being tested or something. I heard that pain is magnified when you stop using. Is this true? Maybe that's why it feels so bad. Gonna be a long day with the baby. I can't even bend over to pick him up. Hopefully it eases up as the day goes on! Have a good day everyone!
Yes, unfortunately pain can be magnified when you've recently quit pills, because your body is so used to not having to deal with it, it's a big shock that it has to get used to. I'm a chronic pain patient, for like the last 25 years....there were times that I had to detox off pills because I abused them. During those times my doc and I still had to be creative to manage the pain, I still had the crippling degenerative disease. I'd take large amounts of Ibuprophen, 1200 - 1600mg, mixed with Naproxen Sodium, which is Alieve and Orudis KT. And wear the Heat wraps constantly and use hot baths when the pain got really bad. All of those things you can get over the counter. You won't get the relief that you got from the Pain meds, but it may help some. Combining the different analgesics and anti-inflammatory meds it tackles the pain more effectively. The heat wraps are convenient when it's not feasible to jump in a hot bath. Have you talked to your doc about a plan to manage your back pain once you've detoxed off the pk's?
Hi kat! It's nice to meet you! Thanks for the input. I thought I had heard or read that somewhere before. I did go talk to my doc and he said what you said basically. Only difference being, I have to limit my anti-inflammatory intake because of only having one kidney. Fortunately, the pain came and went... I just thought it was a cruel joke that it came when it did! Lol! I can't imagine being in chronic pain as you are. I do have scoliosis and it was created over years because one leg is an inch shorter than the other. U fortunately they just caught it recently or this could have been prevented by putting a lift in my shoe years ago. Good news is, I can do it now and doc said it should eliminate my back and hip pain. So that's good news. I'm sorry to read you go through what you do. (I read some old posts). Thanks again for your input it helps a lot.
Hi ice! Thanks for checking in. I'm hanging in there. Patiently awaiting sleep. I think it'll find me tonight. It seems to every couple of days because ofnot sleeping. Thank god no RLS! my stomach is just a mess still. Hard to eat. I stay nauseous but the immodium is no longer needed! Yay! So it's gotten a little better. Slowly but surely. I can't get warm either tho! What's the deal on that anyone? How have you been doing ice? Thanks for checking in! Post to you soon!
hey real quick cuz i got laundry goin downstairs and i waited til i have my last pair of underwear on to do it and its a large apt complex. very scary thought knowing some freak could run off with them so this will be real short!
your almost there, your already feeling better, the sleep part sucks and really got to me but same thing will happen to you that did me. one night i was out cold, slept like a rock. and have ever since, just know it will come. the clonidine should help with the hot/cold flashes, those lasted awhile with me for awhile too also the sweats. ok i gota go! hang tuff kid
One thing I used to do for the nausea because I couldn't eat full meals, but of course if you can get something in your stomach you tend to feel better. I kept a box of Frosted Flakes by my side and just nibbled throughout the day. It kept food in my stomach, but it didn't seem like it was so much that it was irritating and it was bland.
For the sleep, have you tried Melatonin or Valerian Root? They're herbal supplements that you can get at any drugstore. Melatonin is the natural chemical that your brain produces to regulate sleep. Valerian Root is just what it says its a root, it works pretty good, smells like stinky feet, but works. And they aren't so strong that you'd feel knocked out, which I'm sure you don't want with the baby to take care of.
The cold thing is most likely due to your blood plasma levels. When on the pills they change the thickness and red/white/plasma levels of your blood, without the pills your body is getting used to running on it's own, back to the way it originally did, it has to re-regulate everything. That shouldn't last much longer.
Ice...u need to move! Lol! I can't imagine ever being desperate enough to run off with someones underwear! Hahaha freaks. Anyway. The clonidine isn't working st all. I'll be completely fine then soaked in sweat. Wth. I almost feel like I'm in the beginnings of wd again. Stomach, sweats, anxiety. Is this paws? I've heard it can last for months and sometimes years. It just gets fitter in between times that u feel this way. I've been doing a lot of reading and it's comforting to know I'm not alone but it's not helping the physical. Taking care of a baby through all this is so hard! My family sucks at helping. They never help my sister either who has two. I thought when we all had kids that we'd all support each other. Oh well.
Kat- hi there. And thank you for your advice. I'm going to get some melatonin first chance I get. To add insult to injury, my car died two days ago. So I can't even get to a store right now. I'll see what my mom or sis are doing today. I know mom is off work and sis just got laid off :-(
It's so hard for me to entertain the baby right now. I feed him, bathe him, and give him everything he NEEDS, but as far as playing with him and being the mommy I know I can be, I just sweat and shake and have so much anxiety. I've abused benzos in the past. I have a script (old one) for Valium sitting at the pharmacy. I've thought about just getting 10 of them to help with this anxiety. It's bad. It's not my drug of choice, and I abused Xanax once, but it was when I was out of vicodin and just wanted to sleep til I could get my refill. I know I wouldn't abuse the Valium, and I read that it's not a bad I dea to take it during wd but only for a week or so. So as to not develop dependence. I'll think about it. What do u think. I'm only thinking it will stop the shaking and worry so I can focus on my son. I don't want a buzz.
Lastly, my neighbor takes 120 10mg percs a month for a whole slew of disability and pain issues. She is bad off and I feel for her. But she gets her pills the first of every month and always gives me some. She just leaves them where I'll find them. I don't want everyone knowing my business because of the stigma that goes with being an addict. What do I do? Just say, I don't need them cuz I'm feeling better so don't leave me any.? Like I said, I can't deal with her looking at me differently right now if she knew I was an opiate addict. Advice please?