Ice- Wendy is right! You are doing great. Today is gonna be a very long hard day for me. I got exactly zero sleep. I just kept tossing and turning but I was so tired. I didn't have the rls so I don't know what the deal was. I just know it's 430am and I decided to just get up since the baby will be up in like an hour anyway. Hopefully I'll catch some z's when he takes his morning nap from 930-1130. That would be great!
On a brighter note, my sister and I went for a walk for an hour and a half yesterday with my son and her lab. It was gorgeous out and the exercise made me feel better. I can't wait to get back in the gym. I used to love it before I found pills. That's what going to do may 1st. Join a gym. It's my new goal! I felt so much better when I worked out too. I don't need to lose weight but my body sure could use a good toning!!!
Hope you have a great day today! Lots of love, kelly
the sleep thing will straighten itself out. its so nice getting out of bed feeling like i got hit by a mack truck. exercise or just plain getting out and getting fresh air will do wonders. youll notice things, like birds again! sounds silly to most people but thats because they take it for granted. after living in a cloud, and it certainly wasnt # 9 for about 7 years i appriciate the lil things alotttt more. i so easily could have O/D'd on many times. the man upstairs must be keepin me around for some reason, its time i make the most of it.
So it figures. I have got excruciating pain on my back and hips. Couldn't sleep because of it. And I absolutely refuse to get pk's! Aleve, Tylenol, and Motrin haven't touched it. I can't sit or walk or stand without being in pain! What the heck! I feel like I'm being tested or something. I heard that pain is magnified when you stop using. Is this true? Maybe that's why it feels so bad. Gonna be a long day with the baby. I can't even bend over to pick him up. Hopefully it eases up as the day goes on! Have a good day everyone!
Yes, unfortunately pain can be magnified when you've recently quit pills, because your body is so used to not having to deal with it, it's a big shock that it has to get used to. I'm a chronic pain patient, for like the last 25 years....there were times that I had to detox off pills because I abused them. During those times my doc and I still had to be creative to manage the pain, I still had the crippling degenerative disease. I'd take large amounts of Ibuprophen, 1200 - 1600mg, mixed with Naproxen Sodium, which is Alieve and Orudis KT. And wear the Heat wraps constantly and use hot baths when the pain got really bad. All of those things you can get over the counter. You won't get the relief that you got from the Pain meds, but it may help some. Combining the different analgesics and anti-inflammatory meds it tackles the pain more effectively. The heat wraps are convenient when it's not feasible to jump in a hot bath. Have you talked to your doc about a plan to manage your back pain once you've detoxed off the pk's?
Hi kat! It's nice to meet you! Thanks for the input. I thought I had heard or read that somewhere before. I did go talk to my doc and he said what you said basically. Only difference being, I have to limit my anti-inflammatory intake because of only having one kidney. Fortunately, the pain came and went... I just thought it was a cruel joke that it came when it did! Lol! I can't imagine being in chronic pain as you are. I do have scoliosis and it was created over years because one leg is an inch shorter than the other. U fortunately they just caught it recently or this could have been prevented by putting a lift in my shoe years ago. Good news is, I can do it now and doc said it should eliminate my back and hip pain. So that's good news. I'm sorry to read you go through what you do. (I read some old posts). Thanks again for your input it helps a lot.
Hi ice! Thanks for checking in. I'm hanging in there. Patiently awaiting sleep. I think it'll find me tonight. It seems to every couple of days because ofnot sleeping. Thank god no RLS! my stomach is just a mess still. Hard to eat. I stay nauseous but the immodium is no longer needed! Yay! So it's gotten a little better. Slowly but surely. I can't get warm either tho! What's the deal on that anyone? How have you been doing ice? Thanks for checking in! Post to you soon!
hey real quick cuz i got laundry goin downstairs and i waited til i have my last pair of underwear on to do it and its a large apt complex. very scary thought knowing some freak could run off with them so this will be real short!
your almost there, your already feeling better, the sleep part sucks and really got to me but same thing will happen to you that did me. one night i was out cold, slept like a rock. and have ever since, just know it will come. the clonidine should help with the hot/cold flashes, those lasted awhile with me for awhile too also the sweats. ok i gota go! hang tuff kid
One thing I used to do for the nausea because I couldn't eat full meals, but of course if you can get something in your stomach you tend to feel better. I kept a box of Frosted Flakes by my side and just nibbled throughout the day. It kept food in my stomach, but it didn't seem like it was so much that it was irritating and it was bland.
For the sleep, have you tried Melatonin or Valerian Root? They're herbal supplements that you can get at any drugstore. Melatonin is the natural chemical that your brain produces to regulate sleep. Valerian Root is just what it says its a root, it works pretty good, smells like stinky feet, but works. And they aren't so strong that you'd feel knocked out, which I'm sure you don't want with the baby to take care of.
The cold thing is most likely due to your blood plasma levels. When on the pills they change the thickness and red/white/plasma levels of your blood, without the pills your body is getting used to running on it's own, back to the way it originally did, it has to re-regulate everything. That shouldn't last much longer.
Ice...u need to move! Lol! I can't imagine ever being desperate enough to run off with someones underwear! Hahaha freaks. Anyway. The clonidine isn't working st all. I'll be completely fine then soaked in sweat. Wth. I almost feel like I'm in the beginnings of wd again. Stomach, sweats, anxiety. Is this paws? I've heard it can last for months and sometimes years. It just gets fitter in between times that u feel this way. I've been doing a lot of reading and it's comforting to know I'm not alone but it's not helping the physical. Taking care of a baby through all this is so hard! My family sucks at helping. They never help my sister either who has two. I thought when we all had kids that we'd all support each other. Oh well.
Kat- hi there. And thank you for your advice. I'm going to get some melatonin first chance I get. To add insult to injury, my car died two days ago. So I can't even get to a store right now. I'll see what my mom or sis are doing today. I know mom is off work and sis just got laid off :-(
It's so hard for me to entertain the baby right now. I feed him, bathe him, and give him everything he NEEDS, but as far as playing with him and being the mommy I know I can be, I just sweat and shake and have so much anxiety. I've abused benzos in the past. I have a script (old one) for Valium sitting at the pharmacy. I've thought about just getting 10 of them to help with this anxiety. It's bad. It's not my drug of choice, and I abused Xanax once, but it was when I was out of vicodin and just wanted to sleep til I could get my refill. I know I wouldn't abuse the Valium, and I read that it's not a bad I dea to take it during wd but only for a week or so. So as to not develop dependence. I'll think about it. What do u think. I'm only thinking it will stop the shaking and worry so I can focus on my son. I don't want a buzz.
Lastly, my neighbor takes 120 10mg percs a month for a whole slew of disability and pain issues. She is bad off and I feel for her. But she gets her pills the first of every month and always gives me some. She just leaves them where I'll find them. I don't want everyone knowing my business because of the stigma that goes with being an addict. What do I do? Just say, I don't need them cuz I'm feeling better so don't leave me any.? Like I said, I can't deal with her looking at me differently right now if she knew I was an opiate addict. Advice please?
as soon as my lease is up im outta here. your symptoms sound alot like mine, i know i dont remember feeling 100% after 2 or even 3 weeks after by any means. i still had what you were describing. i just figured it was paws, told myself ive made it this long, it'll get easier. well im going on 5 months now and it does get easier. after 7 years of abuse im sure my brain is still doing some rewiring. on the valium its up to you but u mentioned u had an issue with benzos before, def dont wana be trading addictions. i also hate anxiety, heck i dont know who actually enjoys it lol. maybe the underwear freaks, they get off on the fear of gettin caught, who knows. with the lady, tell her she can keep the skittles for now on or however u wana put it but make it clear ur done.
have a good one
The following user gives a hug of support to icehouse3z: monoxide (04-24-2012)
Hon, you are in a really tough spot, but your strong and your making it through each day. Taking care of a baby is hard when everything is perfect and you feel great...when your sick or dealing with what your doing it can be almost impossible, but your doing it. Your not giving up and that says volumes about you. Knowing that you'll be able to look that lil guy in the eye on his first day of kindergarten when your clean and healthy and sober and have taken care of him and kept him safe and healthy....that's what you need to hold on to in the rough times. I'm so sorry that your family isn't there for you. Is there a church near you that might have some sort of outreach program where someone could give you a ride to the grocery store and pharmacy? And never be too ashamed or embarrassed to ask, that's what they are there for, to help people.
As far as your neighbor, she may think she's being helpful, but you need to put an end to that right now. Just tell her straight out, "I understand your trying to help me, but I don't take narcotics any more and having them around makes me uncomfortable, so thank you for thanking of me, but please don't bring pills into my home." You have to be firm in your resolve, your going to run into these kinds of situations and if you worry about everyone else instead of You, you'll end up getting sucked back in.
So my neighbor came up yesterday and I told her that I appreciated her help with the skittles and all but that I don't need them anymore so she can just keep them. I'd rather not have them around because I'm allergic to them. Ya right. So she said ok. That's that. I went through old meds I had and threw out old junk, antibiotics, etc... Found Valium and there was 5 left. I took one yesterday and it helped the anxiety tremendously. Also the sweats went away too. Took one this morning about half an hour ago. Think I'll take one every morning for the next three days and see how I feel after that. I've been reading about people who have been doing this "marijuana maintenance". I can't imagine being stoned all day. Ok maybe I can but it was more like euphoric! Lol. I refuse to swap my addictions! I'm getting rid of this demon an then I'm done for good. I know it will be with me the rest of my life, but I will do everything in my power to maintain the upper hand! I've heard of people having tens and twenties of years clean that relapse. Just goes to show how powerless we really are. When these pills get a hold of me, thats it. I'm done for.
Ice I'm glad to hear you're moving. Hope you got all ur underwear back! I seem to be feeling better today than yesterday. So I guess I'm gonna have good days and bad days. I just have to learn how to cope with this anxiety. Because I'm not taking Valium for more than a week or two. I refuse to get addicted to it.
Kat, how are ya?! I almost cried when I read ur post about my son going to kg. I can't see it. He's a baby and it's my last one. (tubal) I want him to stay a baby but I know he won't. He is what keeps me going. I can remember carrying him into the dr office to get my meds when he was tiny and saying to him "I am so sorry ur mommy is a piece O's ****.'" and I'd cry all the way home. I can't wait for the rest of our life together! Especially since I'll be "there". Thanks for all your help.
Hi monoxide! Welcome.
Everyone have a good one!
Good job with the neighbor girl! I'm doing okay, having a "stay in bed 'cuz it hurts to much to move day!" Thank god for laptops! That lil guy of yours will look at you one day and be thankful that he has such an awesome strong mommy to take care of him! My sons are 22, and 13....believe me, not many days go without me apologizing to my oldest for being a weak, idiot, loser and screwing his life up at some points here an there...he laughs it off and says, "I love ya MOM!" he's a great kid, a Fire Fighter, loving, caring, compassionate, honest and courageous in spite of me as much as because of me. Kids are amazingly resilliant! If you try your hardest to change and make your life better they can accept that and love you and help you and make it all worth it!
Your doing one of the hardest things you'll probably ever have to do in your life, and your doing it great! Your son has an awesome mommy, he's a lucky lil guy!
Hi ice! I've been following you on here for some time now and I am so proud and envious at the same time! Does that make sense?! I am struggling with these darn painkillers and I feel lost. I'm scared. I'm lonely. Been 24 hours without and so far I'm just sad and anxious. A little bit cold and hot too! What's up with that!!!!! I went thirty years without ever touching a drug and for the past 5 years I've been in and out of sobriety. I want this so bad but my head is focused on seeing my doc tomorrow. I don't want to go. I want to be the outgoing person that I was 5 years ago. Before I even knew what percs vics etc...even were. Anything you can say would help. I am so rooting for you! Congrats and please help...
today i have been clean for 4 months myself...i got clean i week before christmas, with the help of methadone, this is my second trip down this road, i have been dealing with a pill addiction off and on...more on,,, for the last 6 years... so if anyone wants to swap stories or just needs to vent i'm all ears....best of luck all!!!!! and rember it's so very true... 1 day at a time...or for some 1 hour at a time....
thank you, I'm not sure if I'm replying using the right format it seams to have the post i was replying to attached to it, but I'm new to using a computer too so who knows. but i still have a hard time maintaining a normal sleeping pattern some days I'm napping from 1 to 4 other days i fall asleep at 7pm and then I'm up for the day at 1 am...so I'm still a mess when it comes to sleeping and the sweats yuk!!! I'm always changing clothes, but I'm sure being on the methadone adds to that issue.i tried stopping the pills with no help i would always fail so to the girl who stopped good for you it's so very hard, as u know 1st hand. i have a major issue going on. 3 weeks ago i had a fall walking my dog...damm little thing, well i tore a ligament that hold my knee cap on. so painful, and i can't have the pain pills. i was honest with the doctor. told him i was on methadone, he still offered me perks...ohhh so tempting.. but i get a urine test every week so i wouldn't be fooling no one but my self, he said i could have them even with the methadone, but i know me,,,,i can't!!!! so now what do i do, I'm on naproon...it don't touch the pain, i had my methadone increased that has seamed to help. the doctor wants to do surgery...i'm so scared!!!! i know i'll need the pain meds but i know it's playing with fire. I've been out of work now because of the fall for 3 weeks, i need to work, and the longer i put this off the more in debt i get. the methadone clinic/ along with my counselor says have the surgery we will deal with it... i just don't know it's scarey...i love my dog but at times i just look at him and think your the devil testing me....so confused,,,,thanx for letting me vent...i think i can head off to bed now...I'll try to stay in touch
To reply without the other posters post showing, hit the "quick reply" button, not the "quote reply" button.
For the actual knee surgery that can be done with an epidural and a nerve block at the knee, you can stay awake for that. When they do the nerve block the anethesiologist injects morphine into your spinal fluid to help with post-surgery pain. Knee surgery is one of the most painful surgeries, you'd have to take some kind of pain killer once the nerve block wore off, which would be 12 - 24 hours. You wouldn't have to take it very long though, a few days at most, just until your up and moving around, then you could go to high dose Ibuprofen. The ligament in your knee will not heal by itself, and it will cause damage to other parts of your knee. without the ligament on one side working to help keep your knee cap in place and on it's "track" it will slide to one side and grate against bone. This will cause your cartilidge to wear and tear as well as damage your knee cap and bones. This isn't something you can just not worry about and hope it gets better, unfortunately. If you don't fix it now, it will be a major problem later.
For the sleep issues, try not to take long naps during the day. Make yourself stay on a strict sleep schedule, go to bed at the same time each night, whether you think your tired or not. Cut all stimulation out of your bedroom, i.e. radio, TV, computer. Keep your room dark and cool/cold. There are also herbal supplements that are safe and non-habit forming you could try, Melatonin and Valerian Root, you can get them at any pharmacy or mega-store.