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Old 04-27-2012, 11:57 AM   #46
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Re: 4 months free of the opiate shackles

Yeah I'm okay, I'm too ornery to stay down too long.

Hope your having a good day.

kat

 
Old 04-29-2012, 07:40 PM   #47
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Re: 4 months free of the opiate shackles

Hey Kelly,

Just checking in, didn't see you around much this weekend, how'd it go? Hoping you got to catch up on some much needed sleep.

Give a yell and let us know how your doing.

kat

 
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Old 04-30-2012, 04:47 AM   #48
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Re: 4 months free of the opiate shackles

Hi kat. Not doing so hot. Having a lot of pain. I have an appt today to get adjusted but don't see how that's gonna help scoliosis. Whatever. It's been all I can do to take care of my son.

Finally had rls for the last two nights so I'm exhausted. I'm just ready to give up!

 
Old 04-30-2012, 07:52 AM   #49
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Re: 4 months free of the opiate shackles

its no fun thats for sure. i'll never forget what it was like, and i dont want to. there were many times i wanted to throw in the towel, but just had to keep grinding. i was determined to break this addiction before it permanently broke me. gota go to work but im pullin for you

in your corner,
ice

 
Old 04-30-2012, 06:14 PM   #50
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Re: 4 months free of the opiate shackles

Kelly,

I know this is hard, and it hurts, and it sucks...but don't give up. You've come so far, you don't want to have to start all over again. I hope the adjustment helped you some today.

Try to hang in there, the RLS is the worst, when you get past that, you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Kat

 
Old 04-30-2012, 09:40 PM   #51
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Re: 4 months free of the opiate shackles

WONDERFUL!!!!!! It's hard but I have see people do it time and time again!! You should be proud of yourself....quite an accomplishment...........but keep doing what you're doing!!! My son was killed last year in a one-car accident. 25 yrs old...told the story in length on this board. Xanax an alcohol was his choice. And it was the cause of his accident. Every time I come to this board and read what you have written...I am so proud and happy for you!!!! I don't even know you but you will be in my prayers from now on........Please stay sober.....sobriety is worth living!!!!! Good Job my friend!!!!!!
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Old 05-01-2012, 03:44 AM   #52
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Cool Re: 4 months free of the opiate shackles

Hi everyone! Thank you so much for the words of encouragement and support. Flintlock, I'm going to go back and read ur posts soon as I'm done here. I had no idea about your son and I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Truly. I have three children and can't imagine the pain of losing any of them.

The bad news is, rls againast night so I didn't get any sleep again. The good news is, I haven't given up and I won't! I had an appt yesterday, as you mentioned kat, to get adjusted. He ended up not adjustin me because of my pain level. He put me on elavil, robaxin, and prednisone. The pred is just for a week. He said to see if that gets me out of pain, or at least lessens it, then we will adjust next week. So my back and hip do feel a little better today so that's good. I'm just REALLY REALLY sleepy. Thanks to all for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.

Quick question. I've been to AA and NA and didn't click with it. Does anyone know anything about SMART recovery, that could fill me in. I googled it but was left feeling like it was AA, minus the twelve steps. Did I get that right or do I need more explanation? Thanks in advance!

Kelly

 
Old 05-05-2012, 01:35 AM   #53
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Re: 4 months free of the opiate shackles

well the 4 months opiate free officially turned into 5 months opiate free. i never thought i could do it, but i did. i tried and failed tried and failed so many times it was gettin redic. i was losing hope. i still had the desire to quit that burned in me. i told myself i would never give up on myself. for anybody out there, and i know there are, i know how you feel, and it can be done. 6 months ago no way would i thought id be typing this. but here iam, back to reality. just dont give up on urself, your worth it. take care yall

ice

 
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Old 05-05-2012, 10:51 AM   #54
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Re: 4 months free of the opiate shackles

Congratulations ice!!!! I'm so proud of you! You must be, and should be, so proud of yourself!!!! Keep up whatever it is that you're doing. It's working!

Kelly

 
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Old 05-06-2012, 11:28 AM   #55
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Re: 4 months free of the opiate shackles

i have always gotten clean then relapse over and over again, and i always say nope i got it this time then boom something happens and I'm getting high again i think for me i use the help of methadone and i get so tired of driving to the clinic everyday. it's been months sense I've been able to sleep in. so this time I'm doing the groups so i can get take home bottles, because i know the pattern i seam to be on this time I'm trying to change things so this time i can stay clean, wish me luck so far so good but i am at the point of being sick and tired of getting up every morning early and taking the 30 min drive there and 30 mins back home. i have to do 1 group a week for 4 weeks then i can put in for a take home bottle i thought i had only 1 more group to do but due to the fact i forgot to sign in last week i didn't get the credit for being there and it's my word against the group leader, even i told her what we talked about nope i didn't sign in i don't get the credit so i have to start my 4 consecutive groups all over again it's gets me so frustrated and i feel like OK you are a drug addict you have a history of lying so we don't believe you, not a dam thing i can do ,,,see why i get so discouraged and say **** it slowly taper me off the methadone i'm done, and then i use again it's a pattern, and this time I'm going to try my damest bite my tongue which i find very hard and just restart the groups so in 4 weeks i can sleep in on Sunday and have my 1st take home bottle, if i believed in praying i think i would be asking for patients thanks for letting me vent, Heidi

 
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Old 05-13-2012, 06:12 PM   #56
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Re: 4 months free of the opiate shackles

hey all, first off happy mothers day to all the mothers out there. this is the first mothers day ive been through sober in 7 years. im no longer numbed out. and ive had a heavy heart all day. she passed on a few years ago, long story short we never were that close, raised by my dad, but still. shes been on my mind alot today. i know this will pass, just needed to get it out there. still going strong, nearing 6 months

take care,
ice

 
Old 05-13-2012, 07:58 PM   #57
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Re: 4 months free of the opiate shackles

Hang in there Ice. Close or not I'm sure your mom loved ya. And you've got tons to be proud of yourself for the great job your doing. Lost my mom last year, we weren't close either, kinda feels weird this year.

kat

 
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Old 05-14-2012, 02:45 AM   #58
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Re: 4 months free of the opiate shackles

hi ice,
im sorry to hear that you are feeling the way you are. i must say i was happy to see that you are nearing 6 months clean though. being a mother myself, i can tell you that i know my children love me even when they dont say it. its just an instinct. my oldest wont speak to me but i know its to make her dad happy. one day she will come to me.. and she will know that i will accept her with open arms. mothers know how theyre kids are, ffeelings, etc..im sure your mom knew you loved her in the only way that you were capable of at the time. our hind sight is always 20 20. try not to beat yourself up too much. the fact that you are clean and living your life for the greater good today, is making her smile down from above im sure. i hope you are feeling a little bit better todAY.

hugs!

 
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Old 05-24-2012, 06:18 PM   #59
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Re: 4 months free of the opiate shackles

hey all, just wanted to check in, im doin fine. like i said, i dont count the days anymore, all i know is im close to half a year clean. it can be done. keep tryin.

best wishes,
ice

 
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Old 05-24-2012, 07:16 PM   #60
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Re: 4 months free of the opiate shackles

Hey ice,

Ya gotta admit though, it sounds awesome to say "half a year"! Have you got moved to your new place yet?

Kat

 
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