just had to let anybody out there know it can be done. i remember the days where getting to 30 days was a fantasy. well, 4 months off the crap is a reality for me today, and i gota say im darn proud of myself. these boards have helped me out so much, hopefully my story or anything i say can strike a chord with somebody to help them turn their life around. it can be done.
there is a new and better life out there for you
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to icehouse3z For This Useful Post: Grantmetheseren (10-17-2012), StopGam (05-15-2012)
I just wanna say thanks for the encouragement, 2moro is my last day using and I know I can do it this time. I have only been sober once in 5 years from my oxy addiction. I have tried to quit dozens of times I am so tired of the everyday struggle with myself. Im gonna keep fighting until Im free.
Hi ice! I've been following you on here for some time now and I am so proud and envious at the same time! Does that make sense?! I am struggling with these darn painkillers and I feel lost. I'm scared. I'm lonely. Been 24 hours without and so far I'm just sad and anxious. A little bit cold and hot too! What's up with that!!!!! I went thirty years without ever touching a drug and for the past 5 years I've been in and out of sobriety. I want this so bad but my head is focused on seeing my doc tomorrow. I don't want to go. I want to be the outgoing person that I was 5 years ago. Before I even knew what percs vics etc...even were. Anything you can say would help. I am so rooting for you! Congrats and please help...
hello there, first thanks to everyone for their support and well wishes.
Tysmom, it makes sense because its how i felt for many others on here while i was using. of course i was happy for them and it gave me hope for myself, but at the same time i wanted to be in their shoes so bad. so you feel like crap. thats to be expected and you will for a few days and the hot and cold flashes are all classic w/d symptoms, along with being sad and all the other emotions your feeling.
the real test will be with the doctor. i had quit quite a few times, my longest being 2 weeks. but what happened? i went to my apt got my meds, filled em and of course took em and the merry go round continued. i knew D*** well that if i went to the appt i would get a script, have it filled and take the meds. even after going thru the worst, being clean for 2 weeks and starting to feel better. how sick is that? best thing i ever did, when i finally, really, absolutely had enough, was to be honest. i first called my doc off and told them i did a fast taper and have been off the meds for aprox 2 weeks and id like to come in thank him for his services and sign the discharge papers. youll have to make that call for you, i wont be able to. its not easy and if anybody can relate to you buddy, its me. i wish you luck, it takes alot of strength but u just gota dig deep.
rooting for you!
The Following User Says Thank You to icehouse3z For This Useful Post: Tysmom1 (04-09-2012)
Hi everyone! Ice- thank you so much for your response. It means so much. I am so determined to do this and at the same time I feel completely alone in doing this. Meetings in my area don't feel like an option. Four years ago my sponsor decided to share my 4th step with whoever she felt like sharing it with. I was humiliated and haven't been back to meetings that she attends since. I won't go back there but I don't know where else to go for the support I need. I can't do this alone. I'm raising a 13 month old alone. I have noone to help with him or to help me through the detox. I'm shaking, hot and cold, sweating, couldnt sleep last night, and sleep isn't an option during the day with a baby. I'm so tired and scared. I'm trying with all I have to not go to my doc today. Because ur right... It will end in me getting pills. I've been taking immodium ad, an antihistamine, pushing fluids and food to keep my energy up. I'm struggling hard with how depressed I am right now. It's bad. I feel like such a failure for ever letting it get to this point again. Thank you for your advice... I need it! I've read all your posts or most, and hope to keep hearing from you. Thanks again! Tysmom
hey there, i havent to go to work or else id write more. hang in there kid. you can do it. cant tell you how great it is once your body can naturally fall asleep again, its weird but i sleep better now then i did even before all this opiate mess began. how you feel now doesnt last forever although it seems as it will. btw i dont do the meetings anymore, i went to a few, honestly, i just dont have any desire or craving for the meds. although if i did, i would go and have ppl to call so i do have support on hand.
Hi all- still hanging in there. Time seems to be all running together! Is this normal? I findyself checking and rechecking what day it is. Weird. I think this isn't too bad minus the anxiety and depression. That's the hard part for me! I'm so terribly anxious it's killing me. Benzos are out of the question as I will abuse those also. Any suggestions for the anxiety? The deep breathing seems to help but only for a few minutes. Being active works but my body doesn't have the energy to support that just yet. God I hope this gets better. Thanks for all the input ice... You truly are helping.
the anxiety sucks but knows it goes away, just do the breathing and close your eyes for a bit. once u get some rest it will probably go away. i was getting anxiety with the insomnia, but now i sleep better than a baby. keep on truckin
The Following User Says Thank You to icehouse3z For This Useful Post: Tysmom1 (04-12-2012)
God I feel like I had two pots of coffee. I'm jittery and it feels like my lips and tongue are tingling. I'm sweating and have diarrhea. Wth! I have to make it through this. There is no other option. I try to keep busy. Im supposed to go do a friend hair today. In 20 minutes actually but I feel as though I won't make it. I'm so anxious. Maybe it'll take my mind off of this for a while... Who knows. I'm so confused and can't think straight. These pills are so evil! I'm probably making no sense right now. God help me...
Wow what a difference a day makes! I slept lime a rock and today is the first morning I didn't think about vicodins when I woke up! Someone must be praying or me. I think I'm gonna brave a meeting tonight. Did Iention that I'm also a disabled veteran? So the VA has lots of different kinds of therapists, including drugs and alcohol. I'll call today and see when the soonest I can get in is. I slept siz hours last night. I did end up going to my doc but told him I'm addicted and needed help coming off the painkillers. He gave me clonidine ( blood pressure med) it helped the sweats and rls tremendously! Also I was able to sleep. I will do anything to keep this up now. I feel like I'm on the downside of withdrawing. Now I need meetings to think sober. Or at least a d&a counselor. Thanks again ice for the words of encouragement! You've helped me more than you know. Please keep posting. I always find something I cam apply in your words! You're the best! I wish you continued success!- kelly
How you doin? found myself thinkin bout you. sounds like your on the upswing. glad you got some rest. i wasnt able to sleep much for the first 2 weeks, and then all the sudden bam, it just came together and ive slept like a rock ever since. the anxiety and depression sucks but it too passes. careful though, its what ends up sucking alot of people back in. you sound determined which is what you need and i have a feelin ur gona do it
were you ever able to do your friends hair? if so wow, major props. no way i could do that so soon, i wasnt able to shave for about 5 days and was turning into a grizzly bear. the thought of me cutting somebodys hair in w/d's is a scary thought, more so for them than me haha.
Ice- ur funny! Yes I managed to do her hair and it actually dide some good to get out of the house! I'm tatting to think that just sitting around is the worst thing I can do. I still have lots of anxiety but the depression seems to have lifted. My son is truly what keepse going. I haven't made a meeting yet, but did talk to a few people I used to know from meetings and I let them know how I am and what's been going on with me. They were super supportive!
It's funny that you said you were thinking of me cuz I thought of you too. Of how helpful you've been and how I can't wait to say I have for months too! I will get there! One day at a time. It seems like mornings are the hardest for me. I don't know why though. I have a dr appt tomorrow again just to follow up and see how the clonidine has worked.
Thanks so much for all your kind words and your support. Keep it coming, it really helps!!!
you bet buddy, im with ya. im simply passing the torch of hope and proof that no matter how many times you fall you can still pick yourself back up and become the person you once were. mornings are tough, we've reached for that bottle of pills first thing in the morning before we could open our eyes. it gets easier as time goes on. keep your eyes on the prize. your doing it, keep it up kid
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: icehouse3z Phoenix (04-17-2012), Tysmom1 (04-17-2012)
The Following User Says Thank You to icehouse3z For This Useful Post: Tysmom1 (04-17-2012)
Hi ice and all! Today is a good day. My anxiety seems to be very low, if any at all. It's a beautiful 70 degrees and sunny. I'm going to take my son for a walk again (we do it everyday, weather permitting). I'm starting to feel like myself again. Not completely but little by little. You were right ice, it does get better. It's getting over that first 4-5 days that sucks!!! But as you said "I'm on the upswing". I bought some NA literature and am reading it as I get time. Sunday I got to see my nephews play with my son. I've ne'er done that clean. It wad nice to laugh and know that it came from a place of serenity rather than chemically induced!! I'm so excited for this chapter of my life that is just beginning. I'll keep ya posted an you do the same! Lots of love - kelly