Re: Desperate to quit!
It seems you had a life before your addiction and no life after your addiction which is all too common. Was the same for me but your addiction has a more physical dependency which is going to be painful and uncomfortable to say the least. Anyway's you need to start all over like a little girl.
You need to find a new life basically.
I would suggest finding the will power and accept the pain that you will go through and the fact your urge will never be satisfied again but I promise you after the time needed, it will go away.
You will be lost, you will flop around a lot, you will pick up one thing and then quickly go to the next because your mind is unsettle and you don't know what you want and that is because of your addiction. But in knowing this you need to find your life.
Also note, during recovery it is hard to be productive and be successful. Don't put to much pressure on yourself and don't worry if you overload on #4 just make sure the rest are involved on your schedule somehow
1. Read philosophy, get an idea of what is right, what is wrong and what is real
2. Find something you want to be great at or find a passion, be open minded and try things you never would imagine yourself trying because it could grow on you. Let things grow on you.
3. Find something that is rewarding to do, help others in addiction or teach something you know, volunteer at a shelter. Something rewarding and somewhere where you are around sober and inspired/good people.
4. Find something that will kill your time and make you pass the time while you feel dread because you will have a lot of dread. Games/hobbies, even if nerdy or unpopular. It's for your sanity a lot of times. I suggest internet games because you could talk crazy as you play and it will be normal for the others and you will only embarrass your screen name not yourself.
5.(Do this if you want because you will think about yourself image and showing people your still amazing is kind of satisfying your ego after being a dupe) Find something that you can get good at that will make you friends or you can show off a little. Find some kind of talent to mess with or get one.
6. Keep healthy and fill your fridge with variety cause your senses need all kinds of stimulation and pleasure and you will go crazy and get bored of the same old things.
Try hard, you will have dreams about taking drugs and all these strong feelings for it. But know that if you keep doing that the path will end the same as always and if you do these things and keep an open mind about what your life can become down the road, you will beat this addiction.
I can only help with the phycological aspect, please, please consult a doctor even if its online, and find out ways to protect yourself from physical relapse.
1 more thing, most addicts I see that quit obsess over what they use to be addicted to. Its natural and annoying but seriously the more you kill time thinking of other things it will die down.
Good luck and hopefully doing these things will help you from wanting it and help you from going back.
It is up to you in the end, it won't be easy or comfortable but in due time...rewarding.
Last edited by mod85; 04-10-2012 at 11:28 AM.