Re: Really really want and NEED to quit drinking, but scared
How are you doing, Momma? Have your liver enzymes been retested yet? Please keep us updated on your progress. I have been in your shoes. Tough love did not work for me, but support and encouragement did help. Please know we are in your corner!!!
Re: Really really want and NEED to quit drinking, but scared
Hey there Tulip. I am doing ok~ I have days when I drink more than a glass, and then some days where I go without and feel fine. I have not had my levels re checked yet. I need to take care of that soon. Been VERY busy with all of the "end of the school year" events, parades, practices, field trips with my kiddos. I will keep in touch here..thank you for your thoughts and kind words!
Re: Really really want and NEED to quit drinking, but scared
Dear Momma,
I have been in your shoes also (twins included). My husband traveled all the time and I was the only caregiver of our twins. I started out having a drink to relax. Then the one drink a night turned to two, then three, then four. Every weekend I would drink until I pretty much passed out. It got to the point that I would drink one night, be sick the entire next day and then be ready to do it all over again by day 3. Towards the end I wasn't getting sick, no hangovers to speak of at all. That's when I really knew I had a problem. Fortunately for me I had to have surgery and in order to do that (and having my mother take care of me afterwards) I had to quit smoking. So, while in the hospital and then the subsequent healing afterwards at home I not only quit smoking but drinking too. I made sure I had a lot of gum, candy, suckers etc. in the house to help me with the withdrawals of the booze and smoking. Believe it or not, the drinking was easier to quit then the smoking and I enjoyed my booze better.
One last thing to say, it's been 10 yrs now and I am smoke and alcohol free. I am now able to socially have a drink, stop at one and not do it again for 6 months with no issues. Alcohol does not taste the way it use to to me, in fact my old stand by of captain and diet coke pretty much taste disgusting to me. I could easily do a 5th with no problem years ago and now it would take me years to even finish a 5th. Believe me when I say a sober life is a good life. Good luck to you and would love to hear how you are doing.
Re: Really really want and NEED to quit drinking, but scared
Momma, did you know there are online AA meetings that you can attend? And you really will be anonymous, lol! So if you are reluctant to got to a meeting in person, there is still a way to get support. How are you doing these days? Is your husband supportive of your desire to quit since he is used to drinking whiskey with you?
Re: Really really want and NEED to quit drinking, but scared
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommaoftwinsplus1
...I have cut way back...allowing myself to sip on one glass of wine a day. Hopefully I keep feeling this good. I have had more energy...
Hey momma,
I do commend you on WANTING to quit drinking. I've never met an alcoholic or drug addict that WANTS to drink or drug. It starts out small and before we know it, it has grabbed hold of us and we cannot stop. I've been there with narcotic pain killers.
I do feel inclined to say though, that allowing yourself one glass of wine isnt any better than 5 glasses. I don't know if you've ever been to AA or NA, but one of their sayings is "one is too many, and a thousand is never enough". And its sooooo true. I really am glad that you want to quit, but to congratulate you on still drinking is pure nonsense. You either want to quit or you don't. I'm not trying to be mean, but when I cut back from 20 pills a day to 3 a day, I was still using. Plain and simple. There is no gray area on this. You are either going to stop or you aren't. I hope for the sake of your children, you choose to stop.
The one glass of wine that you are "allowing" yourself per day, isn't an allowance at all. You said in an earlier post that the one glass keeps your withdrawals at bay. So really, you are still an actively drinking alcoholic and need as much help and support as the guy (or girl) drinking a gallon of vodka a day. I just hate to see you justify your glass of wine as OK, because it will lead you right back to the hangovers you talked about you and your husband having every weekend. I hope with all i have that you can kick this once and for all. I will keep you in my prayers.
Sending well wishes your way...
Re: Really really want and NEED to quit drinking, but scared
Hey momma,
I quit drinking over nine years ago and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I didn't "want" to quit but I had to. If I'm controlling my drinking then I'm not enjoying it and if I'm enjoying it, I sure as hell ain't controlling it. I drank every day at least a bottle and a half of wine. I was alone as now I have three kids and I could not imagine doing it now. I went to two meetings a day for years and really took everyone in AAs suggestions and my life is amazing today. When you get to another day when you are just done and tired of hating yourself and your disease, come clean with your family and get help then. Remember we always get worse and if you are an alcoholic you will soon find that you cannot stop on sheer willpower alone for any significant amount of time. It's tough to get and stay sober but it can be done. I suggest you start my getting a babysitter or having your husband watch the kids and going to a meeting. You need to make Your health a number one priority or you will lose all that you love slowly. It's the best thing I have ever done with my life. Hugs
Last edited by moderator2; 06-03-2012 at 03:34 PM.
Re: Really really want and NEED to quit drinking, but scared
I have always been an empathetic person. Even if i couldn't totally do it, i always tried to put myself in other peoples shoes. I can remember feeling so bad for other addicts and alcoholics who were still suffering. And we really were/are suffering. And noone will ever understand the way you feel except for another addict/alcoholic. I've cried so hard some nights going to bed just begging god to take this from me. But he didn't. He saved my children instead. He saved them from being raised by a mother who cared more about a freaken substance than she did about her own dang children. How sick is that? I love those girls with all of my heart. God knows I do, but he also knew that I was not what they needed.
Momma, someday, either god, or someone from children and youth is going to decide that you are no longer fit to be a mother. I can still feel that pain in my chest. I can still hear my 2 year old asking " are ya ganna come see us mama?" i can still see my 8 year old crying and holding on tome so tight begging me not tomake her go.
