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Old 05-09-2012, 08:59 PM   #1
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I just want to be sober

hello everyone,
I don't even know how I got to this website but I'm glad I did. I'll do just about anything to quit. I've been using meth for almost 10 years, I have been to treatment 3 times, and just had to do 30 days in the workhouse (jail). I purposely didn't stay in contact with my probation officier so that I could go to jail and sober up. I used when I got out and felt terrible couldn't sleep for almost 2 days, I couldn't see straight, I was soooo not me. I thought "hell no I'm never doin this again" that was about 5 days ago and I've used everyday since. I just can't stay away from people places and things. It seems impossible. I have a 7 year old son. His dad just got us kicked out of our apartment after a drunkin feeasco at my complex which he now just started serving a year long prison sentence for. I now have less than 2 months to find a place to live, I have a unlawful detainer and 1 felony. You'd think I could keep myself straight for my kid and so I can sort out all these affairs. I just want to bring him up in a good clean safe home. I want the very best for him. If anyone has anything anything they think might bring me even bring me the slighest bit closer to sobriety, bring it on

Last edited by Administrator; 05-10-2012 at 10:40 AM.

 
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Old 05-09-2012, 09:46 PM   #2
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Re: I just want to be sober

Okay, i'm not even going to waste your time acting like I know anything about meth addiction or the hell that you and your son are going through, I don't. I do know the desperation I hear in your post and I will toss out whatever help I can think of.

Is there anyone, anyone safe that your son can stay with while you get yourself in a detox program and try to get clean? If 30 days in jail didn't do it, it doesn't seem logical that your going to be able to do this on your own with sheer willpower. I'm not sure where your at, but can you check with your proby and see what detox programs are available through the county or city you live in?

Wanting to quit it great, wanting to quit for your child is a great motivator, now you have to take steps to make that happen. You have to find out what programs or systems are available to you to make this happen. You will probably have some very hard decisions to make in the days to come. Your son will have to be taken care of while you get clean. If you don't have family or friends (safe sober friends) that can take care of him, then social services may have to step in, but doing hard things for a short term can make the long term worth it.

This won't be easy, but you seem to want to do what's best for your son at this point...think really hard about whats best for him. I'm sure alot of what I've typed is going to make you very angry, it would me.

There are people out there that want to help you and want to see you succeed to raise your boy in the safe, healthy, happy home you want him in...you've just got to let them.

Kat

 
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Old 05-14-2012, 06:14 PM   #3
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Re: I just want to be sober

I'm with Kat - you need to find help somewhere and fast. If not, you know the consequences. 1. losing you son and 2)DEATH. (hopefully not in front of your son). You have to really want this. REALLY want this, because until then... nobody can help you. It's like that old saying... "you can lead the horse to the water, but you can't make him drink."
I will be praying for you.... GOD Bless.

 
Old 05-15-2012, 05:00 PM   #4
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Re: I just want to be sober

Quote:
Originally Posted by ginnie44 View Post
You'd think I could keep myself straight for my kid and so I can sort out all these affairs. I just want to bring him up in a good clean safe home. I want the very best for him. If anyone has anything anything they think might bring me even bring me the slighest bit closer to sobriety, bring it on
Hello ginnie44,

Look at your child now;innocent and yet viewing all that surrounds him......
Now imagine that same child a few years down the road, following in your footsteps;figuring,if mom could do it,so can I.

It goes way beyond the "do what I say not as I do" phrase.Children can and will remember certain activities when they mature and either they'll learn from them or give into them.
Imagine your child swept into the foster care system;going from one family to another;tossed around like a baseball,until he decides to run away.

Imagine long-term jail time for being under the influence and committing a heinous crime,where the judge wants to make an example of you to show that either he/she is tough on crime,in a political year.

These are a few of the realistic possibilities that can happen.

Reality is an uncaring entity;sweeping your plight and/or feelings under the rug and then stomping on them.

You deserve better;your child deserves better.........
stop and think seriously about it.

Respectfully
Phoenix
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Last edited by Phoenix; 05-17-2012 at 12:16 AM.

 
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Old 05-16-2012, 05:56 PM   #5
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Re: I just want to be sober

Hi ginnie

Glad to meet you here on the board. You are among friends here who can support you as you strive for sobriety.

Ginnie, you wrote:

I just can't stay away from people places and things. It seems impossible.

Honey, since you have to look for a new place to live, the perfect opportunity presents itself for you to make this a very possible task. Look for something as far away from all the familiar as you can. It would be a great 1st step.

I also would suggest that you delete all the phone numbers of anyone who supplies you. Anyone. Block any unwanted numbers also.

We can only begin the road to recovery and restoration by taking steps to get moving. The above are easy steps to take. Take them!

Get involved with some actual, live people who can help you along the way. NA would be a good start. As well, contact your local Social Service Agency and get set up with a good counselor. If you are serious about getting your life back on track, start making those calls first thing in the morning.

Ginnie, detoxing is great, but it is just the tip of the iceberg. To reach recovery, and stay in recovery, takes a lot of reaching out to those who can help. We must be steadfast after detox in learning how to retrain out brains and body from needing drugs to function. It IS possible and many have done it. You deserve it, your child deserves it. Make it happen. Start taking the steps that will cause success for you.

Wishing you well
reach

 
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