Originally Posted by Phoenix
Hello myriadharbour and welcome
Let's start with this:what efforts have you previously taken to get clean and/or sober?
In order to begin a new game plan,it would be most helpful to view the previous metaphorical playbook.
Please don't compare you disorders with others,as many members have different tolerance levels for not only substances.
Believe you me,we have all earned the privilege of becoming a member here.
The common bond we have is addiction,coupled with the sincere desire to stop and wanting to remain that way.
Please continue to post,as we would be more than willing to respond to whatever's on your mind.
Thank you so much Phoenix. What I'm about to say is very embarrassing even said annoynmously, but I feel like I need to tell you my story and maybe you can give me advice or a plan.
I took mushrooms, thought I was Jesus, messaged my boss on ** something ridiculously insane and quit, was jobless for a year, I proposed to my girlfriend-at-the-time, thought my fiance was out to get me, I socially withdrew from everyone except for one close friend, got on ** and ranted about religion and spirituality, and broke up with my fiance, and other pointless stuff happened. Then I thought my life was messed up beyond repair so I felt the need to change my life.
I quit smoking, and drinking and instead started to take a singing course online, exercised, ate fruits, took special anti-oxidents drinks, joined Jamplay, Lumocity, meditated, yoga, and did chores. None of those things helped at the time. I quit all of these good habits because it was making me feel very depressed that I did all of these things and I wasn't feeling better about myself I was in a deep dark depression, more social withdrawl, and feeling really ****** about life. I gave an effort, and I failed. I felt and still feel like I'm handicapped or like I'm stuck in a metaphorical mental wheel chair trying to make myself think again; feel happy like how I used to be. Have I completely ruined my life? Is there no hope for me? I still have hope that this is all a phase and that I'll see a brighter future someday.)
Anyways... now I've regretfully signed a 1 year lease with two trustworthy friends, I have a full time job as a manager, I have a girl friend, and I have friends who hit me up to go hang out with them. I just have a big problem with going through social events due to the anxiety that I need to overcome.
Even though I'm paying rent 250$ a month for rent 80% of the time I'm living at my parents house. There are plenty of reasons why I'm staying with my parents but I feel the main reason is social anxiety. That and my parents have the internet and is closer to my girl's house. And of course I love my family.
I figured if I can maybe use social anxiety to help me over come my bad habits again since I do have more time to myself than others that maybe I can start developing good habits again and stick with it this time and maybe over come the social anxiety hurdles and join some church groups or get into college and get serious about school and life. Because I NEED to be succesful.
After posting this I kind of realized that this thread probably belongs in an another location. Mods feel free to move it where-ever is needed. And I'm sorry if this came about disorganized or cluttered.