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Old 07-27-2012, 12:26 PM   #1
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New here

Im scared to start this, but I know I have to start somewhere.

I have been taking 180 mg oxy/ day for 3 or so years now. It started with the birth of my second child and my husbands back surgery. His doctor hands them out like candy. So muc so, that he is getting 3 scripts per month, 240 each. How did we ever get here?

I am so ashamed. I never thought this would be me or my life. It has taken over everything. My life is planned around pills, our money is planned around pills. We spend around $350 per month on his scripts. Money that could go to my beautiful kids.

This is it... It ends here. I didn't take a single pill after 5pm last night. I slept terribly, but I knew I had to do it so I could start my tapering today. Instead of 9-12 pills per day, I am now down to 7. It has been ok so far. I hope to eliminate one pill/day per week. I know I can do this. Please...tell me I can do this!

 
The following 3 users give hugs of support to: Iwillmakeit
bolter (07-28-2012), nevaeh1226 (07-28-2012), Phoenix (07-27-2012)
Old 07-27-2012, 01:18 PM   #2
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Re: New here

Anyone????

 
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Old 07-27-2012, 02:55 PM   #3
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Re: New here

I have only had 3 pills today and so far feel ok. I feel yucky, but I think I'll take some ibuprofren to help ease the aches. I'm at work now, so it is much easier to get through it here with things to do. I fear this weekend will be difficult. I hate that I ever got here. You look back and wish you had never taken that first pill.

This is only my first day and I hate to think that it will get worse before it gets better. I want to wake up one day and really think its going to be a great day...without pills. You have to wonder how you ever did it before pills were part of your life.

 
Old 07-27-2012, 05:03 PM   #4
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Re: New here

At home now and doing good so far. My 7/day is going good, but it's only my first day. I really fear what this weekend will bring when I'm not as busy. When I have time to think is when I start thinking about the pills and the pain from the withdrawals. I would usually take 2 at a time 5-6 times a day. So, for me to cut back to one each time is difficult. The good news is that it takes the edge off just enough for a few hours and the aches, chills and goosebumps set in.

I made it from 1:00 - 5:00 with only 1 pill at 1. That is an awesome feat and I will continue to look at my small goals. I just want to be done with this so badly and be happy in life again. I don't want to be impatient, but it's hard not to.

I wish there was someone else going through this to talk me through it. My husband is going to work on kicking his habit after ive kicked mine. So, while he is supportive and will dole the pills out to me, he's not feeling what I'm feeling.

 
Old 07-27-2012, 06:30 PM   #5
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Re: New here

Hi I haven't been thru it but saw that no one had posted which is sad there's got to be someone out here? You are on a lot of meds I'm not sure that's something you can do yourself safely that is my concern. Plus you taking his meds is illegal, you know that. But you are trying to fix it I know. Hopefully someone w/ some oxy experience will answer soon, good luck cj

 
Old 07-27-2012, 06:39 PM   #6
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Re: New here

Quote:
Originally Posted by no34evr View Post
Hi I haven't been thru it but saw that no one had posted which is sad there's got to be someone out here? You are on a lot of meds I'm not sure that's something you can do yourself safely that is my concern. Plus you taking his meds is illegal, you know that. But you are trying to fix it I know. Hopefully someone w/ some oxy experience will answer soon, good luck cj
Hi CJ! Thank you for writing back. All I can say is "I know". Everything I am doing is wrong, but I guess that is neither here nor there. Unfortunately, I am where I am now. I am so ashamed and the guilt crushes me. Especially when I look in my kids' eyes. If I could take back time, I most certainly would.

Thank you for responding and support. Even one comment makes a difference.

 
Old 07-27-2012, 06:51 PM   #7
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Re: New here

hi I just wanted you to know that I'm not judging you I am just concerned about your health with the withdrawels and stuff. I know you can do it and please let us know how it goes . cj

 
Old 07-27-2012, 07:25 PM   #8
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Re: New here

I appreciate that. I am doing ok so far. That's why I believ tapering is the best method for me. I have always taken the pills on a set schedule, so tapering has been relatively easy. I've built a plan and hope to taper down 1 pill every 7 days. If everything goes as planned, I should be done by the end of september.

My kids are my strength. I pray that god gives me the strength and the courage. I know he will prevail, he always does.

 
Old 07-27-2012, 09:31 PM   #9
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Re: New here

Quote:
Originally Posted by Iwillmakeit View Post
Im scared to start this, but I know I have to start somewhere.

I have been taking 180 mg oxy/ day for 3 or so years now. It started with the birth of my second child and my husbands back surgery. His doctor hands them out like candy. So muc so, that he is getting 3 scripts per month, 240 each. How did we ever get here?

I am so ashamed. I never thought this would be me or my life. It has taken over everything. My life is planned around pills, our money is planned around pills. We spend around $350 per month on his scripts. Money that could go to my beautiful kids.

This is it... It ends here. I didn't take a single pill after 5pm last night. I slept terribly, but I knew I had to do it so I could start my tapering today. Instead of 9-12 pills per day, I am now down to 7. It has been ok so far. I hope to eliminate one pill/day per week. I know I can do this. Please...tell me I can do this!
Hello Iwillmakeit

Please make sure your doctor clears you before trying to do this on your own.
None of us are aware of your current health condition and even if we were,we'd advise you of the aforementioned statement.

Sure,many have tapered and will continue to and bless them for doing so.
I would feel more comfortable,especially since you have children....
They'll watch you go through withdrawal symptoms;some of which may not be too pretty.

This is something that I hope you think of,going forward.

Respectfully
Phoenix
__________________
When in doubt, post it out.

Last edited by Phoenix; 07-27-2012 at 09:38 PM.

 
Old 07-27-2012, 09:37 PM   #10
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Re: New here

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix View Post
Hello Iwillmakeit

PLease make sure your doctor clears you before trying to do this on your own.
None of us are aware of your current health condition and even if we were,we'd advise you of the aforementioned statement.

Sure,many have tapered and will continue to and bless them for doing so.
I would feel more comfortable,especially since you have children....
They'll watch you go through withdrawal symptoms;some of which may not be too pretty.

This is something that I hope you think of,going forward.

Respectfully
Phoenix

Hi Phoenix,

I'm going to be honest, I've always hated doctors and rarely see one. I don't have a PCP that I go to regularly. I fear starting with one under this condition.

I have only taken 6 pills today and I actually don't feel too bad. I took some zzz quil and hope that helps me make it through the night. I know I can do this.

 
Old 07-27-2012, 09:44 PM   #11
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Re: New here

Quote:
Originally Posted by Iwillmakeit View Post
Hi Phoenix,

I'm going to be honest, I've always hated doctors and rarely see one. I don't have a PCP that I go to regularly. I fear starting with one under this condition.

I have only taken 6 pills today and I actually don't feel too bad. I took some zzz quil and hope that helps me make it through the night. I know I can do this.
Hell Iwillmakeit

I respect your feelings about doctors but let's just say that you have an underlying condition you're unaware of.

I am here to offer you positive support and I wouldn't be doing my part,without mentioning a few things.

You've got to be there for not only you but also your husband and children,who i'm quite sure are very concerned about you and your role as both wife and mother.

Please keep in mind that i'm not judging you.
I just wouldn't be true to my cause here,if I didn't point this out.

Respectfully
Phoenix
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When in doubt, post it out.

 
Old 07-28-2012, 06:46 AM   #12
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Re: New here

Hi and welcome, The tapering is admirable and a good idea. Its when you get way down on your taper its gonna get real tough especially where you have easy access to the oxys. I would suggest you get a dr. on board. I don,t like going to drs. very much myself but they can subscribe different meds to help with wds. I could never quit my oxy abuse thru tapering, just don,t have the willpower I quess. I went the suboxone route and have been off the subs and oxy now for about 2 and half months. But thats me. A lot of people have tapered and quit on there own. Support from dr. or friends or group will help. Have you checked out NA? You can still be useing and go there. Check out top page of this board and theres some stuff you can read on tapering. This is gonna sound crazy but its true. Take short walks when you can, 10-15 mins. at a time. This gives your body little spurts of energy. You can also goggle the Thomas Recipe for wd. I,ve never used it but some people swear its made there wds. a little easier. I,d swallow my pride and go see a dr. and hopefully you,ll get one who understands addiction. If you don,t like him after visit or two then don,t go back. Find another. Keep posting, it will help to just vent. I,ll be checking back to see how your doing. Hang in there. Your gonna feel like your gonna die but you won,t. Bye for now. Bolter

 
Old 07-28-2012, 08:24 AM   #13
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Re: New here

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix View Post
Hell Iwillmakeit

I respect your feelings about doctors but let's just say that you have an underlying condition you're unaware of.

I am here to offer you positive support and I wouldn't be doing my part,without mentioning a few things.

You've got to be there for not only you but also your husband and children,who i'm quite sure are very concerned about you and your role as both wife and mother.

Please keep in mind that i'm not judging you.
I just wouldn't be true to my cause here,if I didn't point this out.

Respectfully
Phoenix
Good morning!

I totally get what you're saying but I'm so scared. I'm scared to have my first meeting with my doc about addiction. I'm horrified that I ever got to this place. I never knew that I would get here.

I am otherwise a healthy 29 year old woman who's only ever had stitches.

 
Old 07-28-2012, 08:29 AM   #14
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Re: New here

Quote:
Originally Posted by bolter View Post
Hi and welcome, The tapering is admirable and a good idea. Its when you get way down on your taper its gonna get real tough especially where you have easy access to the oxys. I would suggest you get a dr. on board. I don,t like going to drs. very much myself but they can subscribe different meds to help with wds. I could never quit my oxy abuse thru tapering, just don,t have the willpower I quess. I went the suboxone route and have been off the subs and oxy now for about 2 and half months. But thats me. A lot of people have tapered and quit on there own. Support from dr. or friends or group will help. Have you checked out NA? You can still be useing and go there. Check out top page of this board and theres some stuff you can read on tapering. This is gonna sound crazy but its true. Take short walks when you can, 10-15 mins. at a time. This gives your body little spurts of energy. You can also goggle the Thomas Recipe for wd. I,ve never used it but some people swear its made there wds. a little easier. I,d swallow my pride and go see a dr. and hopefully you,ll get one who understands addiction. If you don,t like him after visit or two then don,t go back. Find another. Keep posting, it will help to just vent. I,ll be checking back to see how your doing. Hang in there. Your gonna feel like your gonna die but you won,t. Bye for now. Bolter

Hi bolt! Thanks for your kind words. I hurt pretty good this morning and have no energy. It isn't anything I can't make it through, though.

The zzz quill helped me sleep pretty good last night. I only took 6 pills all day long.

 
Old 07-28-2012, 08:35 AM   #15
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Re: New here

Is it normal that I don't even want my husband to talk to me right now? He is all hurt because I asked to please just not talk to me right now.

 
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