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Old 10-03-2012, 11:05 PM   #1
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Alcohol living without it

Now that I have been off the old alcohol for 6 weeks. I am now feeling remorse, not so much about what I did to other people (tho' I do feel bad about that too) but about how I could have had a better life if I hadn't been a drunk. You know I've made my life difficult - lack of friends, poor job prospects and a now I have to juggle money to keep my head above water. Middle age is a bit late to stop drinking!
I'll just have to get on with it though. I can't do anything about the past I have wasted. Feeling sorry for myself won't help anything.

Having said that I do feel better mentally sometimes.

Has anyone of you had these feelings? Has life gotten better than you ever thought? I'd like to hear.

Take care all.

 
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Old 10-05-2012, 05:19 PM   #2
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Re: Alcohol living without it

Hi Dogcito! You've done some fantastic work! I hope u feel proud!

Yes I've had those feelings for sure!
Like, my ex fiancé used pills too, if we hadn't, maybe our relationship would have had more of a chance. I spent over a decade with him.
Before I moved, I lived near all my fantastic friend that I've known forever..., but i cancelled plans a lot, stayed in, cause all I cared about was sleeping in til 3pm and then doing pills all night with my ex.
And the $$ I spent on my dealer when I'd run out of (at the time 100 10mg percocets). Then I got very I'll and graduated to 180 15 mg roxys a month....
I think middle age is probably a very common time to stop drinking. You had the fun of your teens and 20's, the potential mix of ugly and fun in your 30's and then the ugly gets stronger the more upward of maybe 40 u go. Cause at that age or around it, other life expectations happen. Maybe u want a family or whatever, but getting drunk/high.... The older u get, the more u spend those good years in a haze not being you
You aren't alone. I believe what u are going through is very normal. If you stick with your sobriety, which I hope u will, you will eventually see your life come back to you. That guilt and that what if, it's normal, but keep it at bay. Cause it'll bring you down and deride your sobriety. Maybe post those thoughts here so we can help u.... Or write them down, but don't keep it inside, ok?
Keep on trucking! The longer you go without, the more your brain and emotions will go back to normal (it takes time, you have to be patient with the repair your body is doing right now. And feeling down is part of it. You body has to rebuild all your feel good chemicals that it took a break from making when u were artificially supplying it.
Every day sober is a day closer to your old self. It'll get better.
You are doing great!
Good vibes!
Wendy
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Old 10-24-2012, 04:52 AM   #3
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Smile Re: Alcohol living without it

Hi Wendy
Now I'm sober for 8 weeks. It's hard as my emotions are a bit crazy but at least I am not having the awful problems that demon drink causes. I still have to be really careful. I dont even try to go to bars and I do avoid avoid booze related situations. I'm just not strong enough for these social activitiesyet. The A.A people at the beginning you must leave situations where you could have a drink.
It can make things difficult socially but my sobriety is more impoprtant than potential friends . I dont have any family and thank god my husband doesnt drink!! Never got alcohol in the house.

I will start socialising when I've got a couple more months sobriety under my belt. Probably a bit at xmas but I hope I'll feel more confident then.

So far so good. I guess I have to be like this until the alcohol obsession abates a bit. I know the ******* will always be in the back of my head but I really want not to be thinking about the bloody alcohol sooo much.

Anyway how are you doing?

 
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Old 10-24-2012, 08:03 AM   #4
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Re: Alcohol living without it

Quote:
Originally Posted by dogcito View Post
So far so good. I guess I have to be like this until the alcohol obsession abates a bit. I know the ******* will always be in the back of my head but I really want not to be thinking about the bloody alcohol sooo much.
Hello dogcito

The more time you have under your belt,the stronger you will be.
With time comes additional confidence and self-worth.

The thing about collateral damage is that innocent people become affected by our actions. Human nature will dictate that we should make ammends to those mentioned but some things are better left alone....with some,not all people.
You never want to totally rid yourself of the negative reminders of alcohol.
Those who forget about the past are bound to repeat it.I,for one do not want to see that happen.

The past is to be used as a reference point;a reminder of why you shouldn't venture down that particular road again.

Please don't place yourself anywhere that will create uncomfortable feelings for you.Testing the waters could turn out to create negative situations;added complications.

Life can be complicated enough.Don't allow the dreaded temptation trixster to enter into the picture.

Respectfully stated
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Old 11-01-2012, 08:38 AM   #5
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Re: Alcohol living without it

Phoenix is right, dcito, it's the very best thing in the world you are doing right now. As a younger man, I drank until my first daughter was concieved, 23 years ago. Not a drop for 20 years. Then, 3 years ago, I decided to drink a little wine to ease some discomfort I was having. Worst thing I could have done. The "A-monster" got me again, even after 20 years, in only a week, i was in trouble. This time it wasn't fun, it made me feel very bad, older bodies hurt worse from it, health issues became a factor, it was 5 times worse than before. It took many posts here and my Dr.,s help before I could stop it. After 2 months of trying, I've slipped a few times, always regretting it terribly the next day. It seems like during those 20 years, I had more "life" in me than ever, and, by golly, I want that back! The doc can give you Campral or something to ease cravings. I can promise you this: if you do slip up and drink, you will be so gosh-awful sick the next day, it will make you regret the night before with a vengeance. You're too far into it to do that to yourself. Your heart, mind, and body will love you for saying "NO". God Bless, JB

 
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