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Old 11-11-2012, 06:38 PM   #1
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AmericanDreamer HB User
I'm trying to be 100% sober

I've been smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol since I was a freshman in high school. It is something I certain regret starting. I don't drink daily, I don't get the shakes, I don't drink until every last beer is gone, I don't drink until I black out (although I have). My point here is that I don't relate well to people that attend AA meetings, but I'm not saying I won't go for the support. I certainly have a drinking problem. Over three years ago I got a DWI and quit drinking for three months, and that was a failed challenge. Recently, I've been driving drunk again and each time I tell myself I won't do that anymore. I go out to meet up with some friends and once the beer starts flowing my comfortability with driving gets greater. It is not until the next morning I feel guilty and stupid for what I'd done. I've wanted to quit smoking pot for years, and for two years I did successfully. In those two years I noticed that I drank more often. I guess my main problem is that my social life revolves around alcohol, and I clearly can't make responsible decisions while I'm under the influence so it's time to kick them both.

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Old 11-11-2012, 07:35 PM   #2
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Re: I'm trying to be 100% sober

First off you have overcome the hurdle to overcoming this. Admitting you have a problem. Now, My hubby is a recovering achoholic. 8 years sober. Much of his social life was drinking. All of his friends drink and drink like fish. This was one of the hardest things for him. He would be sober for a few months and then his best friend since they were kids would come around. Bam--and he picked up right where he left off. Finally after years and years of the game he went to rehab (did not complete it though) At first we couldnt even go to a resteraunt that served beer. He said it was like hanging a steak in front of a dog and saying he couldnt have it. I battled with a meth additction so I know exactly what he meant. The difference with seperating myself from it was that drinking is so highly accepted by society so its darn near everywhere. Even movies would trigger him.

He is past that point now, but we still dont go to a gathering when we know there will be drinking. His boss watched him go through a very destructive cycle, (himself being an alcoholic but wont admit it because he is a successful business man) would pop one open right in front of him on the drive home. Now it just pisses him off because of the blatent dissrespect. Now there are days that he says it sucks that we cant sit on our porch and drink a beer and there are days that he wants one so bad that he can taste it.

Important things that will help sobriety: Remove yourself from situations that beer.marj will be present. This may include finding new friends. You will most likely need to go to a support group (although he stopped after 3 months) You need to seek some type of counseling. Because 9 times out of 10 there is an underlying issue to the addiction. Mine was years of an abusive alchoholic father and rape when I was 14 from a boyfriend. His was abusive childgood and death of his mother. You have to deal with these issues if you want to stay sober. One thing that always derailed his sobriety was his ex-wife who would drink in front of him or come home drunk after a night out. I have completley obstained from alchohol since I have been with him. I never had a problem with it. I have known many wives who do the same and many who do not. I support him and want him sober. There are a lot of things that we do and have more fun with out the beer.

Sorry this was so long but I wanted you to have support and understand somethings about someones story that might help you.
Seek help, remove yourself from the situation, dont put yourself in the situation that could derail, find supportive sober friends, get counseling to get to the root of the addiction. This CAN be beat. And you can find sobriety with the right tools and determination.

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Old 11-11-2012, 08:34 PM   #3
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Re: I'm trying to be 100% sober

I appreciate your insight. See, a few things that you addressed are actually hard for me even fathom. One, finding new friends. First of all, I have many friends and almost all of them drink and/or smoke pot. They aren't bad people and I don't expect them to change their habits for me. In my previous sobriety period I was able to still hang out with my friends who drank, but just not as often.

I would have to say the underlying problem could be depression. I've never been treated for depression, however I'm sure it is a issue that has followed me. I can't really put a thumb on the issue of why I would be depressed, because my life is pretty problem free from the outside looking in. I have a good job and a good healthy family. I haven't been in any rough relationships, or any for that matter in awhile. I have plenty of money and talent yet my confidence varies day to day. My life appears to be so good that I feel embarrassed to address the issue to people because I feel somewhat selfish. Like "why should they pity me...I have nothing to be depressed over?" I'm not even sure that it is depression either... I'm trying to separate myself from the alcohol and weed to see if this has any change on my overall mental health.

I will disagree that I need to remove myself from all drinking situations. For me, it would actually be impossible. My entire family drinks, and I would therefore not be able to attend these important events. I've seen people go through years of sobriety and still be able to take part in drinking events and have no issues with it. In fact I think that could add to my feeling of accomplishment by being able to say no, by using my self discipline.

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Old 11-14-2012, 07:58 AM   #4
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Re: I'm trying to be 100% sober

Every person deals with additction differently. I have seen people have the feeling of accomplishment being around it as you stated. But I do also think that it would be wise to have someone as a friend sober-if only one. I know it sounds stupid but thats what I would suggest. I would also suggest support group/counseling whatever floats your boat. And might I say that you dont have to have something wrong to be depressed. It doesnt make you selfish, it makes you human. I really hope that you can find what works for you. Everybody has a different thing that works.

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Phoenix (11-16-2012)
Old 11-16-2012, 05:40 PM   #5
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Re: I'm trying to be 100% sober

Hello AmericanDreamer and welcome.

To be 100% sober is a mind, body and soul experience.

You've got to be committed to the cause mentally,which will also affect the body. The soul part has to deal with spirituality.
Spirituality is about accepting there is a force,power or entity greater than yourself that has the potential(if you accept) to restore you to sanity(being substance free).
You can find friends in the rooms,(if you choose to go) or in the strangest of places.
Please accept our friendship,as a means of immediate support.We are here for you and what yrsofpainsucks stated is sound advice indeed.
You made it here and that's a start.
Take things in huge the steps are up to you but I would suggest small steps at first.
Slow but steady helps to win this particular race.
You can do this; don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

When in doubt, post it out.

Last edited by Phoenix; 11-17-2012 at 10:47 PM. Reason: spelling/additional wording

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