I am an addict, Ive kicked three different drugs but struggle with the hard stuff now. I am a functioning alcoholic. I drink and i pass out. I go to work, i do a good job, i drink, and then i pass out. i get up and i do it again. on time. my boss knows when ill be there. and so does the cashier at the liquor store. I am drunk right now. I found this page seeking answers on how to deal with my anger guilt, hatred and remorse, but mostly the hatred in my heart. I find myself thinking back 35 years and getting physically ****** off. i Have isolated myself as much as i can. I cant sleep more than a couple hours because these horrible dreams wake me. im so f'n tired. I wish, i pray GOD would enter my life again. i was never more happy.Im so sorry. i cannot forgive myself. how can i get through this? I feel so weak.
Re: help me
Hello and welcome to the board.
When you've put in the work previously and can't get the same results as before,it's time to try something different but similar.
The reason I say similar because no matter what you will do from this point on,will bring you back to one person;you.Knowing this much could prove invaluable while you go through your trials and tribulations and there will be revealed sometimes when you least expect.
Would you feel opposed,going the AA route,with respect to alcoholism? You've realized that you're a functioning alcoholic...now's the time to muster that power of self-awareness and take it to the next step.
If you're not up for the program,then there's always going back to your roots;religion,as you implied prior religious belief.If you can't seem to forgive yourself,know that there's [B]Someone[/B](no hint needed)who is prepared to.
Yet and still,you can try the route of cognitive therapy.
This is also a tried and true way of enlightening oneself,while lightening your burden.
Know that I was once full of "why's" before I learned how to be wise.We're all really works in progress and i'm still learning.
At least give it a thought;you're worth it.
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