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Painnn 01-08-2013 12:49 PM

!5 years on Kadian
 
Hi- I been on Kadian for 15 years. The first 5 years was 500 mg. I wanted off these pills 10 years ago n when to a Dr. and after looking at my back n records. Dr. said you need to stay on them or have back surg. Again [3x].
I started lowing the dose -Im down to 50 mg. in morn. n 50 at night. Why do i feel like so bad. I haven't felt normal in 10 years. Its 10 years now that i am on 100 mg but dont feel like talking to anyone. I use to love to fish-I dont fish anymore. I just stay in the house. I tryed to go to the gym but that just hurt my back more. With needing knee replacment - cant do it. I want to just feel normal again. I will have pain but thats better than not having a life.
Please help..

Phoenix 01-10-2013 07:49 PM

Re: !5 years on Kadian
 
Hello Painnn and welcome.

Way to go,with respect to lowering your dose. :cool:

If you had a sedentary lifestyle,there are probably muscles that haven't been used in quite a while.
Might I suggest doing a few light stretches and work up to simple exercises?
I understand that you won't be able to work on the entire body but every bit helps.
Looking into vitamins such as C,D and E may be well worth it.

I get it;seriously.The frustration rings out in your explanation.

Know that it doesn't have to be a permanent fixture in your life.

Respectfully
Phoenix

reachout 01-22-2013 03:18 PM

Re: !5 years on Kadian
 
Hi Painnn

Painn, the way you are feeling is withdrawal depression. It happens as we lower the doses of our pain meds and is a part of the process of withdrawal. It will abate and you will find happiness in doing things again. Truly.

The brain has not had to work and produce some of the chemicals we need on its own as the Kadian took over. Coming off of it involves the brain firing back up into production mode. We can help it to get going producing serotonin and endorphins and such by activity. We don't have to work out at a gym ( I sure can't do that!). However, we can walk, stretch, force a smile( the brain will still react to it as a real one!), begin to reach out and chat a bit with friends or family. Sometimes we really, really have to force ourselves to do these things. Each time we do, we will feel a fleeting moment of satisfaction, of accomplishment. We can use this as encouragement more and more to continue to reach out and participate in life and not just exist.

Commit right now to one goal.. a walk around the block or even to the mailbox. Do it as a commitment to helping the brain recover. Then rejoice in that accomplishment. It's baby steps to find our way back, my friend. When I began my own journey off the drugs, I felt joyless, like I had lost my very soul. Today, I have joy and happiness in abundance. I am a participant in life again. It can happen for you also.

Here's to hearing a good fishing tale in the Spring from you
reach

Painnn 01-23-2013 04:18 AM

Re: !5 years on Kadian
 
Thank you for answering. I though withdrawal depression is when you stop taking the meds ? I was hoping to get down to taking 50 mg a day. I'm on 100 a day now n still fell like crap. Its been many years now that I am on 100 mg. If you try talking to the Dr., they do not know what to say... If I stay on 100 mg am i ever going to fell normal again ? OR do i have to get off the meds, go through withdrawal and all will be good ?

reachout 01-24-2013 08:11 PM

Re: !5 years on Kadian
 
Hi Painnn

The brain will react to ever lowering of a dose with some anxiety and some degree of depression. I tapered from Oxycodone and after each cut, I waited a period of time until I had "leveled out" before making another dose. Leveling out was not a time of feeling great at all, just a time when I was feeling a bit stronger and capable of making another cut. I tapered very slowly and at the end, basically just walked away with the depression much better than it had been. I have to say, though, that I was in clinical depression when I started, so the withdrawal depression was like an extra layer of depression working on me.

How quickly have you been tapering down? That can make a difference in how you feel.

If you have been at 100 mgs for many years, then I would have to say that the depression you are experiencing is probably more a clinical depression and may very well need an anti-depressant to help you. Are you in a great deal of pain? That in itself can lead us into a clinical depression.

Also, I was put on Morphine for a short time for pain when other meds were not working. It made me irritable, grouchy, and pretty much not wanting to be near anyone because everyone was an irritant to me. I got off of it within a month because the changes in me were so noticable. Perhaps the Kadian itself is contributing to how you feel?

I am sorry things are not so great for you. I think you are going to have to search for a doctor who really will tackle the issue and take steps to try and help. Perhaps change meds, perhaps prescribe an anti-depressant. I sure wish I had better answers for you. I have been where you are and it is surely not a happy place to be.

Painnn 01-24-2013 08:54 PM

Re: !5 years on Kadian
 
The pain is not bad. I stopped going on my boat because at the end of the day I was in pain. I know when to get off my feet now.. I go in the hot tub 2x a day.
Im not working -so i'm ok but if i had to be on my feet by the 2nd or 3rd day I would be in lots of pain.
I think I know what mess up my head. I was on 80 mg oxcontin 3x a day when they first came out with them in the late 90s. I was working n had 2 kids in school paying $30,000 each for med school. I told the Dr. to give me what ever it takes to keep me going. Those pills made me supper man. I remember when I got off them n when on Kadin. I fell like crap n still do ..... I did something yesterday to see how i would feel. I took 3 50 mg kadin in the am. and then one more at noon. All day yesterday i feel normal --NOT HIGH !!! Just normal. I called my dad n talk to him--my sisters........ SO what the hell do I do ?? I have meds to be on 500 mg a day n have a stock on them...

reachout 01-24-2013 09:53 PM

Re: !5 years on Kadian
 
Hi

Well, it seems the depression is really your brain calling out for more meds. Sigh. What a catch-22, huh? The more you use, the higher the tolerance goes and the higher the tolerance, the more you use. This was very much part of the problem for me. We keep needing more to fel normal.

I can only share what happened with me: Once I was completely off the pills, I noticed a funny thing (that others have also experienced). My pain off the pills was no worse than my pain on them. With all that was happening to me between the pain, the depression and the exhaustion, I had to retire. Now, because I do not have to work, I can handle the pain better. Much of my pain is in my left leg and travels up the back with too much walking or standing. Now I can rest when I need to. I also use ice, heat and aspirin. These things help.

Because you are not working, are making use of the hottub and seem to know your limits, perhaps it is time to try and get completely off the meds and see how you fare. For me, it was the only solution in the end. Unless you want to continue to having to up your dosages, I think it is worth a try.

IF you decide to try and come completely off, I would advise a slow taper. Make a cut of just 10% from one dose and stay there for a week to 10 days and level off before making the next cut. Then 10% off another dose and wait again and so on and so forth. If you decide to do this, give a holler and I will share more.

Tough choices, I know. Wishing you well in making the best one for you.
Hugs
reach

Painnn 01-25-2013 01:08 AM

Re: !5 years on Kadian
 
[QUOTE=reachout;5122631]Hi

Well, it seems the depression is really your brain calling out for more meds. Sigh. What a catch-22, huh? The more you use, the higher the tolerance goes and the higher the tolerance, the more you use. This was very much part of the problem for me. We keep needing more to fel normal.

I can only share what happened with me: Once I was completely off the pills, I noticed a funny thing (that others have also experienced). My pain off the pills was no worse than my pain on them. With all that was happening to me between the pain, the depression and the exhaustion, I had to retire. Now, because I do not have to work, I can handle the pain better. Much of my pain is in my left leg and travels up the back with too much walking or standing. Now I can rest when I need to. I also use ice, heat and aspirin. These things help.

Because you are not working, are making use of the hottub and seem to know your limits, perhaps it is time to try and get completely off the meds and see how you fare. For me, it was the only solution in the end. Unless you want to continue to having to up your dosages, I think it is worth a try.

IF you decide to try and come completely off, I would advise a slow taper. Make a cut of just 10% from one dose and stay there for a week to 10 days and level off before making the next cut. Then 10% off another dose and wait again and so on and so forth. If you decide to do this, give a holler and I will share more.

Tough choices, I know. Wishing you well in making the best one for you.
Hugs
reach[/QUOTE]

Painnn 01-25-2013 01:18 AM

Re: !5 years on Kadian
 
I will talk to the Dr and take the meds down to 40 mg. you are
Right,I can get off them n hope Im not in pain. I get the same
Left leg pain down to the big toe. Do you have back surg? How
Do you feel now that your off the meds? I'm not talking about
The pain.

reachout 01-25-2013 07:43 AM

Re: !5 years on Kadian
 
Good morning

No, I did not have back surgery that causes my pain. I lost part of my left thigh to cancer. One of the major muscles was removed. Because of this I walk lopsided. Hubby says I look like Popeye when I walk. :) Multiple surgeries have left much scar tissue and nerve damage.

Pain aside, off the meds I am feeling so much better mentally and emotionally. I laugh heartily again and enjoy being social and outgoing. This is how I was before the drug journey. Feels like I found ""me" again.

Remember... don't make the cuts drastic. 10% at a time is a good rule of thumb. Look at any symptoms that arise as symptoms of the brain and body restoring itself. Having been so long on the meds, we need to understand it will take time to get off of them. Slow and steady. :)

Stay in touch here
reach

Painnn 01-25-2013 08:23 AM

Re: !5 years on Kadian
 
Thank you so so much for all your time. You are a beautiful person.
Painnn

reachout 01-25-2013 09:14 AM

Re: !5 years on Kadian
 
Hi

Thanks for the kind words. :) I am happy to give back as many helped me through my own journey here. I understand that feeling of desperation when we know we are feeling horrible and don't know how to stop it. We want our life back!!

Hope you will continue to update as you can. Whine, rant, ask questions. We are open to it all. Chuckles.

Hoping today is a day of hope for you.
reach


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