Hello -thanks for reading this... I'm a 34-year-old mom of 3, married 12 years, normal and really trying to stop smoking pot. I'm out now, and I'm hoping willpower and maybe some suggestions from you will keep me from calling my 'source' and giving in for another few months.
My mom got me high for the first time when I was 13. Ever since then, it's been my escape, even better than food. Today, pot is my companion, friend, anti-anxiety med, sleep aid, distraction, marital aid etc...
My hubby doesn't do drugs, but he doesn't mind. He say it's my anti-depressant. He doesn't know I smoke literally all day-or maybe he does, and we're all in denial.
I am desperately tring to improve myself, trying to resolve some of the emotional issues that have me where I am today. (Dr. Phil helps!) I lost 60 pounds last year, and it's almost torture to have that protective layer gone. I want to let go of this bad habit, but I am afraid I don't know how, or that I am too flawed to survive without something.
I haven't reached any sort of bottom, I guess. I have enough money to keep me comfortably stoned all the time. I go to pick up my 'sutff'in my mini-van, it just seems so ridiculous! I have never been caught, although I know it could happen. I am careful to keep my kids away from it. I don't party, drink or do anything wild. We have a very stable home life, boring, in fact. I spend a lot of time alone with the kids. The only bad, uncomfortable thing is actually being out of smoke, that and envying the people who never started smoking it in the first place.
Can you help me with suggestions, moral support, anything? I need tips on how to survive daily life! Should I tell my Doc and ask for help? I would kill anyone who tried to get my kids to do drugs-I don't want them to learn it from me!
Thanks so much and I am praying loud and long for everyone on these message boards. Mel
Hi Mel -- Being a recovering alcoholic/addict, I know how you feel. I'm sure all of us here do.
First, you have to want to quit more than anything else in the world. You have to make a total committment -- no half efforts. You have to dry up your resources of the stuff. If you really, truly, 100% don't want to quit, you won't. And you have to quit for YOU -- no one else.
You know all the dangers of smoking. When you're driving high, you could kill someone else's child or your own. You could kill yourself for that matter.
Sooner or later, you will get caught. Everyone does. It will be the most humiliating thing you've ever gone thru. You'll be handcuffed, stuffed into the back seat of a squad car and thrown in the clink until someone can bail you out. Then there's the legal fees, the court costs, the fines, your license taken away. That's only PART of the humiliation. Can you stand that much shame??? What will your kids think of you??
And what about the smoke that the kids are inhaling?? It's in the house, regardless if you're not in the same room as them when you're smoking. How is that affecting them?? And I'm sure they know something is "up" with Mom --- they might not know exactly what it is, but they know. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. The only person we're good at fooling is ourself.
Tell your doc, call NA. I know you're thinking that you don't "belong" in NA --- but they're the one's who will understand. They've been where you are. So what if people see you going to meetings?? None of us cared when people saw us stoned, so why care if folks see us getting well? Support is crucial, and they'll be right there with you.
I hope you do it. I really do. But remember -- it NEVER fails that sooner or later, we'll get caught. Life sober is better than that. We just need to learn how to live that way and NA will teach you. God Bless. Peace, Lee
[This message has been edited by LeeEllen (edited 01-28-2002).]
Well, I can relate closely to what you are saying, except that I am not married with children. However, I am a 30 yr old male and have never had trouble with the law, work, or school. I make good money, and I never miss work. I have good relationships with family and friends, and I am generally happy and healthy. However, for ten years from 1991 to 2001 I drank five to seven beers most nights, maybe 24-27 nights a month. Since the beginning of 2001 my drinking has been nonexistent for months at a time, and only weekend drinking at other times, though the goal all along during this last one year has been total abstinence. I am achieving moderation, but only white-knuckling my way to it, by aiming for total continued sobriety and failing on a sometimes weekly, sometimes rare basis. But the end result is moderation, though I feel I am progressing toward teetotaling.
Pot: where to begin. My total involvement with pot is four months in 1997, 2 months in 99, 2 months in 2000, and one month in 2001. Though it is not much compared to some, I definitely have something of a love affair with pot, and have a hard time staying anyway. Haven't had any in six weeks, but that's only cause I can't score. I wouldn't really agree with Lee, getting caught is absolutely inevitable only if you're dealing. The police don't really care about the small fish buying a small amount here and there for personal use, as long as you're not flaunting it. As far as Lee's comments about stoned driving, no actually, stoned drivers are the most careful out there. It's a fact and ignored due to political correctness. Of course, everyone's different and if you smoke a huge blunt and are a crappy driver to start with, well then of course it's a risk.
I don't think these things will help you quit weed. What you might want to do is make a list of the things you hate about it, and focus on that, and ignore the good.
For example, if the munchies cause you to gain weight, focus on that. If you hate the feeling of being out of smoke, if you hate the way it reduces your thought process to that of a ten yr old, if you hate the trash world it drags you into when you have to buy from a scummy dealer which they usually are, if you hate the insomnia that hits when ya don't have any, if you hate the smell, if you hate the expense, if you hate urine tests, if you have to sneak around a lot to use and hate that, if any of these apply to you, use that to stay away from it. That's what i am doing.
I think your major problem is that you have it pretty good and none of these things apply to you. That's going to make it tough to quit, nonetheless you sound like you are self-aware and intelligent, and I'm sure you do have the innate strength and fortitude to do it on your own, if only you will tap it. Best of luck to you! One really does feel great after seven weeks of no alcohol or pot! At least I do at the moment, i go back and forth a lot on this.
Thanks a lot,to both of you who replied! That first reply was a bit shocking- I guess I'd rather get my reality check here than in jail...I do feel better, somewhat, this morning- more clear. I also noticed that I am way more done and organized on the morning routine around here-clothes, lunch, school bus, etc... that is a very good side-effect of straightness!
I spent a lot of time reading messages after posting yesterday. I've a prescription for what seems to be a popular painkiller. Before reaching this site, I'd planned to use those to help me sleep and get over the worst of the need. The last thing I want is another addiction, and a much worse one at that, so I packed up the kids and went to the health food store for some of the herbs suggested in other messages. I felt OK last night, and went to sleep no problem- Shock!! I was expecting hours of wide-awake nail-chewing cravings. Thank you to the brave people who are baring their souls and helping others here. So, I would like to recommend Valerian Root and Kava Kava to anyone who is feeling edgy and not at all sure they're gonna make it- it really helps and I am told they are in no way addictive.
I have been smoking for so long, I sure wonder about the driving issue. I always made it a point to stop smoking at least 2 hours before I drive, but we all know it's still in you. There is/was a case in the news where a man ran a stop sign and killed 2 human beings, and when tested pot was in his system. The prosecutors say he was DUI, the defense says he hadn't smoked for 12 hours. Don't know how it turned out, but 2 people are still dead and that guy's life is probably ruined, even if he doesn't go to jail. I know that if I make a mistake while driving, even one a non-user might make, and cause an accident, the same thing could happen to me.
It's such a stupid thing! I feel so conflicted- it seems so harmless compared with other drugs. For me, it is unfortunately easy to get, and cheap for a lot- like alcohol, I suppose. I see and hear a lot of things regarding legalization, plenty of people say it's perfectly OK to do, including most of my friends and family. I wish I could be a social smoker- I'm afraid of a life that seems dry and bland without the enhancement of smoking. I'm angry that I need it!
Thanks, Mel
Originally posted by Mel777: The prosecutors say he was DUI, the defense says he hadn't smoked for 12 hours. Don't know how it turned out, but 2 people are still dead and that guy's life is probably ruined, even if he doesn't go to jail.
You may feel like you are not under the influence, because your peak has worn off, but THC stays in your system in your fatty cells I believe for about 30 days. So if you get tested, they will find it positive for THC.
Please help me quit 
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