Hello Russell and welcome.
I hear you loud and clear;truly.
If you want something you've never had before,you need to be prepared to do something you've never done before.
Easier said than done,you may say.
Imagine the places that cocaine can potentially take you........
Three should automatically come to mind(in time):
1) The morgue
3) Institutions(including hospital)
None of these is appealing and I pray that you never have to experience any of the 3.
You have identified the progression of your addiction and that is a good thing.
I can relate to your situation and will tell you from experience that things can and will get better once you have the weight of the drug off your back.
Are you ready to unburden yourself of the load?
No better time than the present.
There are plenty of resources out there and know that there's nothing to feel embarrassed about,admitting addiction.
Have you considered Narcotics or Alcohol Anonymous?
Please know that we'll be praying and hoping that you recover.
You're definitely worth it.