Haven't been here in a while... - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Cat54 · 02-03-2002, 12:56 PM

Hi Everyone!

It's been a long time since I posted on this board, I thought I'd just check in. I actually made it a year clean and sober in November, then in December came down with the flu and was prescribed cough medicine with codeine. Then I discovered that my husband's left over pain pills plus the cough med gave me a pretty good buzz. Then when those ran out, I decided that I could drink again. I awoke the sleeping giant and blew my sobriety, which I am still trying to get back. I almost slipped and drank the past couple of weeks, but poured it down the drain both times before I did. Then last evening, after a horrendous ice storm that knocked out power for 3 days, I had one of my husband's beers to "celebrate" the power being restored. My son saw me drinking it. He didn't say anything but the look on his face said it all. I'm really angry at myself and let down also. These damn cravings! I need to get back to recovery. Life hasn't gone well lately--a close friend dying, another with inoperable cancer given only 2 months to live, and finding out I have lupus. All this should be more of a reason for recovery instead of continued slipping. Anyway, thanks for being here and listening.

Cat

Christine · 02-03-2002, 09:03 PM

Hi there Cat! SOooooooo glad to hear from you!!!

I am sorry to hear of your struggle. BUT.... our stories are so similiar, aren't they? We both relapsed after one year - and you were so full of good words and wisdom when I was beating myself up last October - go back and read some of those posts, Cat - you will remember how strong you were. You gave me hope and strength when I thought I had let myself and everyone else down. I borrowed it from you, and maybe now I can lend it back!!

Getting back. so to speak , can be so hard. The shame and guilt. Ugh. But all I can say, is that gradually it gets better. just hang in there. Day by day, it does get better. I am now 4 months clean and sober after that slip last fall. It didn't come back overnight. It took a few months. But it does come back.
You were lucky - you got a warning - to be vigilant over your sobriety. Remember that lesson, and you will be just fine!!

Love ya, Cat!

Cat54 · 02-04-2002, 06:33 AM

Hi Christine!

Thank you so very much for your kind words of encouragement. You've always been an inspiration to me and I can't thank you enough. It's so tempting to drink or use to fight the bad feelings from drinking/using. But I'm determined not to. Going to try to get to a meeting today (we had a horrible ice storm, power is still not on in areas). I need to find a home group and a sponsor, and am making that a priority. Thanks so much for being here, and for making me feel better!

Cat