Going to stop drinking... cross those fingers for me
Hi...I haven't posted here in a while. Guess I've been "self-medicating".
My drinking has gotten out of hand. I know very well the consequences of overindulgence in alcohol, even for the "average person", if continued for a sufficiently long time. I feel like I'm really pushing it with my daily alcohol consumption, and I've decided to quit drinking for Lent (hey, it's a start). I'm only 44, and I don't want to die an early death and leave my family to fend for themselves. My husband and I recently got in a heated discussion (wouldn't really call it an "argument") over his 30-year smoking habit, which he has recently picked up again (and I was really angry), vs. my drinking (which has been off and on for years, starting at age 16, and for the past couple of years has been daily, and hard liquor at that). When I told him that smoking was going to kill him, he retorted with, "You're going to die before me!" God help me, I think he's right.
I don't really know why I'm posting this, other than to acknowledge that I know I have a real problem, and I want to do something about it. I want to know what it's like to go to bed, and actually remember everything I did beforehand. I want to go to my psychiatrist visit, and not lie to his face about my alcohol consumption. I'm tired. I don't like the way this makes me feel. My family needs me.
Wish me luck!
Last edited by mod85; 02-11-2013 at 06:50 PM.
The following 3 users give hugs of support to: obfuscated KG5634 (02-13-2013), Phoenix (03-10-2013), sweetpotato13 (03-03-2013)
Re: Going to stop drinking...cross those fingers for me
Hi, I wish you SOOO much luck. You sound like you have made a turn in your thinking and seem to really want to make a change. I am almost your age and have children myself and I am sure you want to do the best for you and your fam. Your healthy, physically and mentally, will ensure that. My sister has struggled for years, since about 16 too with substance abuse. It is not an easy road at all and for some it's harder than for others. You have to focus on the positives in your life and avoid the triggers that make you pour yourself a drink. You'll have to find a new coping mechanism . Having your head clear and remember what has been going on in your life and your children's life will feel amazing. For some, initially overwhelming but such a positive step to actually feel things. Your family will be so proud of you but more importantly, you should be proud of yourself. It's such a positive step in the right direction. Don't give up, don't be hard on yourself, your human and we all have made mistakes. Congrats with your choice to change your life, you won't regret it!
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to KG5634 For This Useful Post: lenvegas (02-14-2013), Phoenix (03-10-2013)
Re: Going to stop drinking...cross those fingers for me
There are many AA meetings in Washington DC. If you work the program you will remain sober and live a better way of life. Everyone in an AA room has been where you are at as a newcomer and will give you support. We all need help over our addictions because we are powerless over them. I have remained sober 17 years with AA and I was really a tough nut. All the best
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: lenvegas KG5634 (02-13-2013), mlwelch56 (02-20-2013)
Re: Going to stop drinking...cross those fingers for me
Day 2 sober for me. I drank vodka. My husband and I would polish off a 5th of Stoley a day. I am so tired of being tired. It has taken me 2 days to get over the last bout. I have been in AA before. Once I had 3 1/2 years, 10 years, and then on and off and then just off for quite awhile because I didn't have the desire to stop drinking.
There is a story in the Big Book about a man that knew he was an alcoholic, and what the consequences would be if he drank again. He went to a restaurant that served alcohol. He had a resentment. He had eaten there before without drinking. He ordered a sandwich and a glass of milk. Suddenly, he had the thought that if he could put a shot of whiskey in his milk, it would be ok. Then it worked so well, he had another and another and then went on a bender. The point is self-knowledge avails us nothing.
I know I'm an alcoholic. That will not keep me sober. I cannot stop on my own will, I've tried so many times, and I always get thirsty. I keep putting the whiskey in the milk so to say.
So, the only thing left for me to do is pray and ask for help and get my but to a meeting. I read my BB and other meditation books today. But that won't keep me sober either.
It's spiritual medicine for a physical / mental illness. And it is way cool to be on the AA beam, working the steps, having sober friends, going to meetings and most of all having a relationship with my higher power---and that's what I want more than stoley vodka.
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: rosebuddy lenvegas (02-20-2013), Phoenix (03-10-2013)
Re: Going to stop drinking...cross those fingers for me
I also struggle with alcohol. I drink just enough so I can function, yeah i know that's bad...never get drunk. Anyway, I also know I need to quit and have known that for quite some time, but it's hard. Please keep us updated on how it's going for you!
__________________
The following 3 users give hugs of support to: mommaoftwinsplus1 kitchener12 (04-11-2013), lenvegas (02-26-2013), Phoenix (03-10-2013)
Re: Going to stop drinking...cross those fingers for me
You need to do it for YOU, not your family, not your boyfriend/girlfriend; not anybody but YOU, babe.
Go to AA it's free, but it's not cheap! do the work get a sponsor, stop fighting and find out that you actually like your new-found dignity and self respect....that while life may be tough for a lot of us, it's also a miracle.
Grow up and join us, the sober, growing people of the world.
It ain't easy, but nothing good ever is.
Alcohol is a solvent; eventually it melts our internal organs. I have a friend who is in the process of doing that to himself right now. It's horrible to see, but he's been to AA and knows ALLLLLLLL about it. That's the problem with slipping. There's a reason we slipped but people seem to think they did everything right up to that time and try to add their months and years to their new sobriety date and then, they get drunk again.
I know, I'm 12+ years in sobriety in AA and I've watched how very few make it to long term....BUT the good nooz is that you only have to do it today! That's all; stay sober today.
But you can't do it alone, your disease will lead you down the garden path every time
The following user gives a hug of support to Kass490: lenvegas (02-28-2013)
Re: Going to stop drinking...cross those fingers for me
Heya obfuscated
Just wondering how you are doing and if you have pulled a plan of action together yet. It is so important to have a plan at the ready... one that includes both detoxing and aftercare to truly reach sober thinking.
Live, 3-D support is also very important. AA meetings are great, but also the services of a Licensened Clinical Social Worker or a Psychologist who can help us identify the root of our need to get lost in a drug or alcohol haze. These professionals can also give us the tools to handle life with better, healthier coping skills. We really can not do it on our own and trust we will not backslide. The new skillss need to be practiced and reinforced over and over until they become our first response to stress in our lives.
Stop in and let us know how you are.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
reach
The following user gives a hug of support to reachout: Phoenix (03-10-2013)
Re: Going to stop drinking... cross those fingers for me
Hello obfuscated and welcome.
A lot of useful information is contained in these posts.
Please allow me to add that total,rigorous honesty can be quite a liberating experience.
The unburdening of one's self is not always the easiest of things to do but once done,there's no need to hide behind the facade of being dishonest.
