Help- please my step dad is drinking again after 15 years! - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Leslee · 02-20-2002, 10:36 AM

Hi-
I have a problem my stepdad was a recovering Alcoholic of 15 years. Well last Feb. his brother died (also an alcoholic) well in September of 2001- My step dad started drinking again at my sisters wedding....
I have known for awhile I have caught him on several occasions. A couple of weeks ago I called and he was VERY drunk. I tried to get him to tell me why he was drinking again and he told me he could not explain it. Now the BIG problem is no one else in my family knows.....
I have taken the blame for him leaving a cup of wine in the trash (my mom found it).
I told him the next time I caught him I was giving him up and telling my mom and his mother. I have thought a few times but I can not prove it.
My mom will flip if she finds out, and his mother who is already depressed because of her other son dying will lose it. I do not know how to handle this,
I am 21 and and my biggest concern is I do not want my little sisters growing up with a Alcoholic father- he has beat this addication before how do I convince him to do it again.
I have tried the guilt and crying and pleading with him- (we have a very close relationship) he has always been a part of my life.
Please I need to know what to do. How to handle it- do I tell and risk the relationship we have or do I let one of the others wise up and realize it.
Please help- Sorry I was rambling on.
Thanks
Leslee

hzebo · 02-21-2002, 02:45 PM

I am sooo sorry to hear you are in such pain over this.
There is NOTHING in the whole world that You can do. You cannot change the way of the world or your Step-dad. If you sit and think, what is taking the blame for something he did going to do. I think it will prolong the fact that he is in his addiction again and he has woken up that sleeping gorilla. Have you ever tried Al-Anon? You can't keep controlling your mom or his mom or anyones mom from finding out. Your intentions are great but they are only hurting and prolonging the truth.
Good luck, hate to see anyone in this pain. I am a recovering addict and I have to see my dad in his addiction still, but there isn't anything I can do. I just stay clean one day at a time and the rest will happen how it is supposed to happen. I have learned I am not god.
thanks for at least reading.