Glad to meet you. ;-)
The first thing I would say to you is that there is hope and not to give up!
I have been where you are with that huge sense of desperation, but I am not there any longer. :-)
At the top of this Addiction and Recovery Board, there is a thread about tapering. Whether tapering or going cold turkey, it offers some really helpful suggestions.
Rehab is not out! the government does offer some free rehab. Check out this government site. It is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration and can offer you help and hope.
Also, call your local hospital and ask about any programs they know of to get help for you. Be honest and tell them all. We can only get the best help when we are completely forthright.
Please stay with us and let us support you through this. Withrawal is a lot like childbirth--- it is painful to go through, but once we are done we know how worth it the effort was.
I am sending up prayers as I type that you will find the live help you need and fore the strength to reach your goal.
With all hope