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Old 03-23-2013, 12:37 AM   #16
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Re: tapering Norco… here is where I am now… help!!

Hi Friend

Hmmm... while you write those letters, maybe you can write one to BF and son and tell them how you feel. OR, try this... tell them in a calm voice how you feel. What they did was certainly not very nice, but it is something that is pretty common to have happen. Try not to over-react to it, but do act on it.... in a balanced way. Express your feelings to them and then try to let it go.

What is wonderful about your post is discovering that you did NOT reach for a pill. Really wonderful. The beginning of the new thinking in your life. proud of you for that and you should be also.

You are going to feel normal again. It is not going to happen overnight, but it is going to happen. It took you 6-8 years to get here; it will take time to get back to where you want. Not to despair over this... it will become easier and easier once you get past the withdrawal hump. It is going to be a matter of weeks, not years. Pretty fair trade-off in my mind that our brain and body can restore as quickly as they do considering how long we have messed with them.

It is often fearful to think about the end. Fearful on one hand, relief-giving on the other. :-) We worry about how we are going to make it without pills, then we find out that we can make it fine. Truly.

Tomorrow is another day... (hopefully one where the trash is taken out, the kitchen cleaned, and the world a bit brighter). :_) Keep on keepin on, First.

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Old 03-23-2013, 07:13 AM   #17
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Re: tapering Norco… here is where I am now… help!!

Hi Reach...Thank you and I do feel better today...physically and even a little mentally.... I'm not mad at the world today, so that's a plus. I did have a little sit down with my BF and son and asked for their help. Hopefully they will follow through... My son has a bit of a lazy streak...and my BF works a lot, but I'm pretty sure both will step it up...

 
Old 03-24-2013, 03:20 AM   #18
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Re: tapering Norco… here is where I am now… help!!

first taper-

Are you doing this for you or EVERYONE else? You say you had an accident so I assume you are being prescribed this medication? Have your injuries healed or are you left with pain.

These are things you need to discuss with you doctor, because if you are in pain and your ability to function is compromised-this I a problem. If you are truly in pain you are/will be dependant upon your medication-but you seem convinced you are addicted. Did you have any testing done after accident, ie MRI,CT scan,X-rays-do you have any permanent injuries that still give you problems(like severe pain) are you sleeping well or ever awakened by pain, any residual headaches?

I know a lot of times our well meaning spouse can care and love us but not really understand what we are really going through-so a well meaning spouse might say, eah I was hooked on them bout 12 yrs ago and stopped CT-and this can lay a real guilt trip on you.

I would hate for you to suffer needlessly if in fact they improve the quality of your life. If you feel you are ok s/p your accident but still take them anyhow(you mentioned an emotional reason-then you should have your doctor help you. And if you are still struggling with pain you need to share this with your doctor also-don't be made to feel guilty if a medicine you are prescribed actually helps you, as long as you are taking them as directed.

If in fact if you do still need them for pain-I am sure your doctor will help come up with a plan to ok having the medicine mailed to you-(you could arrange from a pharmacy to overnite(fed-ex)them.

Either way, I just don't want you to confuse addiction with dependence, they are completely different. Good Luck n [I] hope all works out for you.
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Last edited by BB07; 03-24-2013 at 03:29 AM.

 
Old 03-24-2013, 10:17 PM   #19
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Re: tapering Norco… here is where I am now… help!!

Hi BB...thank you for the information and yes I do have legitimate pain. The thing is, I really think I need to try to assess where my pain level is, since I have never done that and I went from taking 4-vicoden per day to 8-norco per day. I have never taken more then the dr allowed, but when he kept upping the dose...I kept taking more and more. It is important to me to evaluate where I am without anything, because I'm traveling throughout Europe for at least 6-months ant I don't want to be dependent on figuring out how to get enough pills for that time period. I did it last time...actually my dr office would send me the meds, but it was super expensive.

I'm sorry most of my posts are me whining, today...I'm happy that when I go to sleep tonight and if I wake up after 5-AM, I will have 24-hours with no pills! I hope I can make it. I'm not saying that I'll never take a pain pill again, but I want to make sure I'm being more responsible.

Thanks again for your post,,

 
Old 03-26-2013, 01:23 AM   #20
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Re: tapering Norco… here is where I am now… help!!

So I made it 24-hours, but at 7 AM I took 1/2-pill. I have 1-pill left and I'm trying to not use it. I'm super tired and not feeling great... But I'm getting stronger every day! Just a quick update.

 
Old 03-26-2013, 02:08 AM   #21
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Re: tapering Norco… here is where I am now… help!!

Congrats on 24 hrs!. Honestly, I logged into healthboards because about 1.5 hrs. ago I had the absolute worst panic attack of my entire life. I just about passed out, and I had to knock on a neighbors door to help me. It was scary and mortifying at the same time. I started reading your post, there was a link on the home page, and it just made me realize that we all have struggles, but we can prevail. Although our struggles are a bit different, your posting gave me inspiration. I wish you the best of luck.

 
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Old 03-26-2013, 03:25 PM   #22
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Re: tapering Norco… here is where I am now… help!!

Hi Saucylee…Thank you so much for posting that my posts gave you some inspiration…well, when I read what you wrote, it made me smile. When I write my posts, it's usually because I'm looking for something to do…that doesn't include 1. taking pills or 2. displacing my anger! But Reach and Wendy and now you have really given me more strength than I ever thought I had. I'm still dealing with some yucky physical withdrawal symptoms, but I am moving forward.

I'm very sorry that you are having health issues...and panic attacks on top of that must be very scary for you! I used to have an incapacitating Aerophobia (Fear of Flying), and I would have panic attacks walking down the tunnel to get on a plane. I hated the fact that everyone got to travel and see the world, and I couldn't even get myself to fly to Vegas… I wanted to get rid of the fear and decided to not give myself an option. I applied for and got a job that required me to travel (via plane) at least 3-4-times each month. Everyone in my family thought I was crazy, because they didn't think I would make it. My friend is a small airplane pilot/instructor and he picked me up and forced me to go up in a 1-engine plane the week before my first scheduled business trip. I thought I was going to die…it was the scariest thing I ever did, but I was so grateful to him, because it really helped. It was a struggle for the first six months! After that, I was, not the perfect flyer (I still don't like turbulence) but I'm "normal" afraid, not "crazy" afraid...

Yesterday morning I took 1/2-pill after the 24-hours passed and had one left…I made it another 24 hours and this morning I took 1/3-pill…I don't know what 1/3 of a pill can really do, but its psychological, I think… I now have 2/3 of a pill left…My BF thinks I'm crazy…and maybe he's right, but if I take 1/3 tomorrow morning and the last 1/3 the next day…that is my goal. I do have quite a bit of pain, but I'm trying to learn stretching and alternatives to pills…

I'm getting stronger every day!!

Last edited by mod85; 03-26-2013 at 10:03 PM.

 
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Old 03-29-2013, 06:05 AM   #23
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Re: tapering Norco… here is where I am now… help!!

Well...just a quick update...I've now gone 70 hours since my last 1/3-pill and I'm pretty proud of myself. Yesterday I was pretty sick and had 2-bouts of what i can only describe as avxiety attacks...but I just woke up today and I'm feeling ok. I'm still achy, but ok. The most difficult withdrawal symptom I can't seem to shake is mt queasy stomach. Oh we'll, it's not unbearable!

The weirdest thing I noticed yesterday was how fast the day seemed to go by. I think that when I was taking the pills, I was always checking the time when I would feel any pain to see if I could a pill... Yesterday p, I was working and I was getting hungry, looked at the time and it was 4-PM...I thought it was lunchtime...

Thank you all for your encouragement and advice! I hope I never have to go through this again, but I know I have a lot of work to do, because I know how to convince myself, rationalize with myself and ba-da-bing-ba-da-boom I'll be back on pills. I know I will find strength in reading other people's posts and I hope someone will relate to some of my posts!

A special thank you to "Reach" for my new chant "I am getting stronger everyday!"...and all of your words that gave me the courage to stick with it...

First Taper...out.

 
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Old 03-29-2013, 06:12 PM   #24
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Re: tapering Norco… here is where I am now… help!!

Hey, Hey First!!!

After a long, long day, I have read your post and , my friend, my heart just wants to sing! 70 hours!!!! (even longer now as I post)!!!

Take a bow, baby girl, take a bow. :-)

I love that you continue posting, love that you are inspiring and caring about others, love that you are staying committed and steadfast. These are good things, First, and I applaud all your effort.

Yes, Honey, there is more work to do, but I truly think that you are more than up to it. It can be really hard to work on discovering why we chose to turn to pills for coping, hard to learn better and more healthful ways of coping. The thing that happens, though, is that as we work to figure that out, we are also discovering and understanding more and more about ourselves. It wasn't overnight for me by any means. I worked for a year with a clinical social worker on who and what I am, who and what I want to be. Many of my perceptions in life have changed greatly. I truly don't sweat the small stuff anymore and I will never let the small stuff grow into a huge mess again. My skills have been 'updated' in coping with the good and the bad in life. That balance is there for me finally. And it is going to be for you, too.

I am so very happy for you, First. You are at a crossroads of really becoming who you are meant to be. Who you can be, who you will be. Don't lose your enthusiasm in this!

Double big hugs to you
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Old 04-03-2013, 07:12 AM   #25
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Re: tapering Norco… here is where I am now… help!!

Hi Reach. Thank you for your encouragement! This was so difficult (Tapering Norco), but I'm beginning to come to grips with the fact that the work ahead isn't going to be a cakewalk! But I will be happy for the small victories. NO PILLS FOR OVER 1-WEEK!!! That's it... Have a busy week and I'm glad that!

 
Old 04-03-2013, 05:07 PM   #26
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Re: tapering Norco… here is where I am now… help!!

Wow first taper!
You GO!
one week?! Is that correct?!
Congrats! I am so very happy for you!
I'm really rooting for you!!
Keep on being strong. You are doing reeeeaaaally well!

Wendy
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Old 04-03-2013, 07:51 PM   #27
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Re: tapering Norco… here is where I am now… help!!

hi wendy…yes…one week, no pills…I took my last 1/2-pill last Wednesday morning…I'm pretty proud of myself… I'm feeling better, physically, but I never realized how much I used them to cope with stress. I am seeing a therapist and learning new ways to deal with and uncover the root of my kookoo head… I will try to update weekly!! How are you doing?

 
Old 04-04-2013, 04:54 AM   #28
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Re: tapering Norco… here is where I am now… help!!

Hi!
Gosh that just fantastic! And seeing a therapist is awesome too. You must feel very accomplished! I mean, I know u have work to do and it's not easy, but you've made such progress. it's such a good thing. Yay!
Is seeing a therapist new for you or have you been going for a bit? Do they know about the pills?
I'm currently looking for one who specializes in anxiety disorders, as I know I use my pills as a way to cope... even though I also take anti depressant meds that help with my anxiety.
I'm trying to find a type of therapy that does behavioral as well as incorporates some eastern stuff like meditation. I'm so type A, and knowing how to relax/ quiet my mind would be great. I can't use drugs for that any more.

I'm doing well. I moved recently and I've been really busy which had helped me not over do it on my pills, as when I do they make me tired unlike some people where they get energy. Well, honestly I had two nights where I took more than I shouldn't have, but I caught myself and stopped it.
I have my extra pills in a separate container and haven't even looked at them. If I dont see them/ don't put them into my monthly pill divider, then I won't use them. So that's good as usually they are all spread out.

I got really sick with migraines for three days and am grateful I have meds to treat it, instead of having run out and having to duffer. So Im trying to keep that in mind too. That this medicine treats a problem I have and I will only be punishing myself if I misuse them and run out.
So I'm doing better in those ways.
I start my big cut (half of 180) so down to 90 (I explained my reasoning for going up to 180 from 150 in my other thread but basically I felt it was a really big jump to go down to 75 from only a month of 150, as I've been on 180 for years)... Anyway I go down on the 24th. So I'm excited about that. A bit nervous too of course as I haven't been that low in a long time.
But I know that that amount, in reality is fine. It's much more reasonable, will control my pain, and I won't be thrown into withdrawals along with my boyfriend the first month that we start living together. But we both feel really good to be starting this process FINALLY... we both really support each other in this, so with that I know I can do it. there are so many positive things happening in my life right now that only the pills can really derail them. Bo way can I let that happen. I'd never forgive myself. So I draw a lot of strength from all the goodness I have surrounding me and try to focus on how much better things will get in even just a few months. A year ago I was a mess (not just cause of the pills) so I really am holding on and do nor want to let go of all the nice things I have right now.

Keep on posting and let us know how u are doing!! I'll do the same.
I'm so happy for you!!
Good vibes!!
Wendy
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Old 04-08-2013, 07:52 AM   #29
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Re: tapering Norco… here is where I am now… help!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wendy88 View Post
Hi!
Gosh that just fantastic! And seeing a therapist is awesome too. You must feel very accomplished! I mean, I know u have work to do and it's not easy, but you've made such progress. it's such a good thing. Yay!
Is seeing a therapist new for you or have you been going for a bit? Do they know about the pills?
I'm currently looking for one who specializes in anxiety disorders, as I know I use my pills as a way to cope... even though I also take anti depressant meds that help with my anxiety.
I'm trying to find a type of therapy that does behavioral as well as incorporates some eastern stuff like meditation. I'm so type A, and knowing how to relax/ quiet my mind would be great. I can't use drugs for that any more.

I'm doing well. I moved recently and I've been really busy which had helped me not over do it on my pills, as when I do they make me tired unlike some people where they get energy. Well, honestly I had two nights where I took more than I shouldn't have, but I caught myself and stopped it.
I have my extra pills in a separate container and haven't even looked at them. If I dont see them/ don't put them into my monthly pill divider, then I won't use them. So that's good as usually they are all spread out.

I got really sick with migraines for three days and am grateful I have meds to treat it, instead of having run out and having to duffer. So Im trying to keep that in mind too. That this medicine treats a problem I have and I will only be punishing myself if I misuse them and run out.
So I'm doing better in those ways.
I start my big cut (half of 180) so down to 90 (I explained my reasoning for going up to 180 from 150 in my other thread but basically I felt it was a really big jump to go down to 75 from only a month of 150, as I've been on 180 for years)... Anyway I go down on the 24th. So I'm excited about that. A bit nervous too of course as I haven't been that low in a long time.
But I know that that amount, in reality is fine. It's much more reasonable, will control my pain, and I won't be thrown into withdrawals along with my boyfriend the first month that we start living together. But we both feel really good to be starting this process FINALLY... we both really support each other in this, so with that I know I can do it. there are so many positive things happening in my life right now that only the pills can really derail them. Bo way can I let that happen. I'd never forgive myself. So I draw a lot of strength from all the goodness I have surrounding me and try to focus on how much better things will get in even just a few months. A year ago I was a mess (not just cause of the pills) so I really am holding on and do nor want to let go of all the nice things I have right now.

Keep on posting and let us know how u are doing!! I'll do the same.
I'm so happy for you!!
Good vibes!!
Wendy
Hi Wendy,

I know how difficult it must be to ration out the pills!! I could have NEVER done that myself during my taper... The day I reluctantly handed them over to my boyfriend, I knew I was done, because he is one of only a couple people who can stand up to me! Even more difficult, though, was having old "friends" tell me that if I need "anything", they could "help" me...but thank god, I was finally ready... My therapy is a new thing. I had therapy a long time ago, but not for too long, and it was mainly to try to see if my ex-husband and I wanted to be married... And honestly, I was done with our marriage 3-years before we actually ended it. I love my ex and we'll be friends forever, but we were way too young and dumb to know how to nurture a relationship... Anyway...yes therapy. I have friends who have been in therapy for 15-years, and I'm not one to judge, but if I can't figure it out in max a year or two...what I mean is that I don't want to end up whining in therapy for the rest of my life...because I'm sure I could...I can whine like a pro...I want to find a way to be happy and cope with everyday life without medicating. Anyway....but who knows, maybe I will need it for longer, I won't rule it out...

Thank you. For all of your posts and I hope anyone who reads this knows that my opinions about my life and decisions are just that...mine! We all have a different path and I tend to be a little sarcastic, but whatever path you are on, I wish you the best!

 
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Old 04-17-2013, 11:42 AM   #30
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Re: tapering Norco… here is where I am now… help!!

It has been 21-days and no pills!! I'm feeling good Physically!! We are getting ready to move to Europe (which is one of the main motivations to stop), and needless to say, I'm not used to handling a lot of stress without medicating!! I've had a couple meltdowns, but the closer we get to leaving, the more stress there is. I am trying to do things like take a bath or walk the dogs to change my mindset…I just wanted to ask any one out there…

Will there ever be a time that it wouldn't even cross my mind to take a pill? I haven't and I don't want to, but I still think about it…

Anyway…we Leave in about 3-weeks…So much to do!! I think the adrenaline from moving is helping me stay focussed..

I'll check in when we get settled...

 
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