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Old 04-27-2013, 08:25 PM   #1
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Need support! terrified...

i decided to post on this board because even though i'm not on opitates or benzos, i am on a high dose of seroquel and must go almost cold turkey by next week.
i read and read these threads, even from 2004 and everyone was going thru withdrawals, relapses, and then tried again and again.
i've been on seroquel for about 10 years and take 800-1000 mg a night. my insurance wont cover it until i pay 1500 bucks out of pocket and i will never have that kind of money. last year when my insurance paid for it, i paid 12.00 bucks a month. now, its 240.00 a month and ive been trying to get as much as i can afford but i literally dont have money for one more pill. i cant even get some to taper with. i cant afford to see my doc either.
i've looked up seroquel withdrawals and they sound the same as opitate or benzo wds. i've taped myself from 800 mg to 400, from 5 tablets a day to 2. but that is still 400 mg and considered a high dose. i'm gonna have to jump off on a high dose. i have about 10 pills left and have cut some of them in half. a couple of weeks ago i tried to get off and went three days with only three pills, but didnt sleep so had to take some to sleep so i could go back to work. i dont have a single minute of sick leave so will have to work sleep or no sleep. my job is stressful and will be almost impossible to do if i'm not 100% on my game.
i didnt feel any real wds for those three days except of no sleep, but i'm on such a high dose, maybe i still had too much in my system.
i have had sleep disorders since the 90s and have seen many doctors for it. seroquel helped me a lot and even though i used more than i should have sometimes, i never really abused them like i did with the other drugs. i have an insane tolerance to drugs. when i was on ambien, i was up to 100 mg a day, same with the ativan. i had a nervous breakdown and ended up in a hospital. they didnt give me anything at all so for 5 days i didnt sleep or eat. i have detoxed off of opiates and benzos, got myself off of crack and here i go again, with only misery and anxiety ahead for the next week. i did leave a message with my doc, she wasnt in so she is supposed to call me monday. but even if she orders stuff to help me, i cant afford them anyway.
i'm so scared and i have no one to support me. i am alone, and all my family dead. so i have the next four days off and will take one pill or maybe even half a pill on those days, then i have enough for three days of work, then i'm done. o god. i dont think i can do this.
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Old 04-28-2013, 05:26 AM   #2
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Re: Need support! terrified.........

i'm sitting here at work trying so hard not to cry. today is my birthday and my life sucks so bad.
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:13 PM   #3
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Re: Need support! terrified.........

Well even if no one replies, I'll keep writing. It helped me to read other peoples struggles and maybe mine will help someone else. I was such a wreck at work, my boss tried to teach me something new and complicated and I was in tears because I couldn't learn it quick enough. Then I just kept crying on and off my whole shift. I came home and took one pill. Amazingly I was
able to sleep a couple hours. Tomorrow I wont take any pills. The seroquel should be out of my system by then. Half life is 6 hours. Thanks for reading!
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Old 04-29-2013, 05:20 AM   #4
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Re: Need support! terrified.........

Hi, I have taken seroquel 600mg for 6 years before bed so I know what you are going through. The times I ran out I took restoril to get sleep. Of course sleep is your number one priority because if you do not sleep it will mess you up especially at work. Try to get some sleeping pills to help you get through this.

 
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Old 04-29-2013, 07:49 AM   #5
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Re: Need support! terrified.........

I have a sleeping disorder and I don't think I can sleep without drugs. But I've been on seroquel a long time. Maybe I can learn to sleep with nothing, I don't know. Hopefully my doc will call me today and help somehow. I'm drinking sleepy time tea hoping that might help.
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Old 04-29-2013, 11:02 AM   #6
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Re: Need support! terrified.........

Quote:
Originally Posted by cetiya View Post
I have a sleeping disorder and I don't think I can sleep without drugs. But I've been on seroquel a long time. Maybe I can learn to sleep with nothing, I don't know. Hopefully my doc will call me today and help somehow. I'm drinking sleepy time tea hoping that might help.
I don't know much about Seroquel but please be careful with a taper. Ask your doctor about the fast taper you're doing, just to make sure it's safe for you. I was just looking at the amino acid protocol for help with my wds from opiates. I take benzos still, which are a nightmare to come off of, got down to a small dose but it's not something you can just jump off, at least it's not recommend, you sorta need to glide down. Ask your doc about what you're doing.

 
Old 04-29-2013, 11:11 AM   #7
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Re: Need support! terrified.........

I have a call out to my doc. Waiting for a call. I have ten pills left and am fighting the temptation to take some pills so I can sleep. I've been awake since yesterday. Tea didn't help.
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Old 04-29-2013, 12:22 PM   #8
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Re: Need support! terrified.........

Quote:
Originally Posted by cetiya View Post
I have a call out to my doc. Waiting for a call. I have ten pills left and am fighting the temptation to take some pills so I can sleep. I've been awake since yesterday. Tea didn't help.
You have to sleep, you have to learn how do that naturally, but that's going to get fixed right away. Let me know what the doc says. Ask for Lunesta or whatever else he might recommend, unless you think that's just trading one thing for another. I wouldn't think the tea would work. Don't let him put you on benzos, worst mistake you'll ever make. I didn't know anything about them when I started taking them, felt like a wonder drug, and I had ZERO idea about the wds and the fact that I might never be the same (upstairs) after using them for a few years. It still makes me mad. Had I known any of that, I would have passed on them without a second thought.

 
Old 04-29-2013, 02:28 PM   #9
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Re: Need support! terrified.........

Ive already detoxed off of benzos once and it was hell. Anyway my doc called and doesn't want me to go to fast with the taper. She'll call in 30 more seroquel.and wants me to stay at 200-400 mg for a month. I think I'll continue taking little amounts on my days off and use the rest for the nights I work. I can't keep crying at work! I'll get off this drug, I swear. I'm not playing, I'm angry that I'm a slave to another drug yet again. If I can quit crack and everything else, I can quit this.
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Old 04-29-2013, 05:55 PM   #10
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Re: Need support! terrified.........

Quote:
Originally Posted by cetiya View Post
Ive already detoxed off of benzos once and it was hell. Anyway my doc called and doesn't want me to go to fast with the taper. She'll call in 30 more seroquel.and wants me to stay at 200-400 mg for a month. I think I'll continue taking little amounts on my days off and use the rest for the nights I work. I can't keep crying at work! I'll get off this drug, I swear. I'm not playing, I'm angry that I'm a slave to another drug yet again. If I can quit crack and everything else, I can quit this.
Yeah, I figured your doc wouldn't want you to taper that fast, not off that drug. I looked up some of its properities, best you go a bit slower and as you do, your natural body has a chance to take over, you're not shocking yourself into being sober because you are mad, so many problems come from that. If you went off benzos, you know what I mean. I wish I could drop them, I don't need them all anymore, but I am forced to keep taking them as I back away from them slowly. The first drop I did was too much, I thought I was going to die. I got back on and went down more slowly.

I'm glad you're doc has you slowing down. You want something so badly sometimes that you don't stop to think about the impact it'll have longterm. Let your body heal and taper with your docs advice, he'll get you out of this I hope. Stay strong.

 
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Old 04-29-2013, 05:59 PM   #11
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Re: Need support! terrified.........

Quote:
Originally Posted by cetiya View Post
Ive already detoxed off of benzos once and it was hell. Anyway my doc called and doesn't want me to go to fast with the taper. She'll call in 30 more seroquel.and wants me to stay at 200-400 mg for a month. I think I'll continue taking little amounts on my days off and use the rest for the nights I work. I can't keep crying at work! I'll get off this drug, I swear. I'm not playing, I'm angry that I'm a slave to another drug yet again. If I can quit crack and everything else, I can quit this.
Just remember, you didn't get where you are in now in a week or two, took you some time to build to the levels you're taking. If you think about how much you've dropped already, you should be proud that you're exit strategy is going so well. You drop, get used to it, drop again and get used to that. Pretty soon you'll be off them and smiling.

 
Old 04-30-2013, 12:02 PM   #12
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Re: Need support! terrified...

God, I keep losing my posts and my mind. My doc refused to help me one little bit and I'm so mad. The pharmacy wants 20 dollars for 6 pills. What good will 6 pills do me?? I called, begging for help. She basically abandoned me. Told me to get melatonin and a foot
massage?? So I can go cold turkey off of sreoquel and all I need is a foot massage???
I'm so beyond angry right now. I want to take the rest of my pills, I only have seven left and just get this over with. I hate my doctor right now. Get me hooked on drugs and then abandon me when I try to get off. I'm living a nightmare right now
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Old 04-30-2013, 02:23 PM   #13
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Re: Need support! terrified...

Just got back from the store/pharmacy. Asked the pharmcist what I can take otc for withdrawals and somehow she was able to get me 15 pills for the same price the 6 would have been. Si I have 22 pils instead of only 7. I cried then too. I'm an emotional wreck and crying everywhere. I shouldn't take any drugs today I don't know what ill do. Oh my doc called back when I was at the store but I'm so mad at her right now, I'm not going to listen to the voicemail. Too little too late... besides its probably more lame useless advice.
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Old 04-30-2013, 02:36 PM   #14
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Re: Need support! terrified...

Quote:
Originally Posted by cetiya View Post
Just got back from the store/pharmacy. Asked the pharmcist what I can take otc for withdrawals and somehow she was able to get me 15 pills for the same price the 6 would have been. Si I have 22 pils instead of only 7. I cried then too. I'm an emotional wreck and crying everywhere. I shouldn't take any drugs today I don't know what ill do. Oh my doc called back when I was at the store but I'm so mad at her right now, I'm not going to listen to the voicemail. Too little too late... besides its probably more lame useless advice.
That's not uncommon for a doc, a half-way one anyway, as soon as they find out you're an addict, you can kiss your scripts goodbye. Find a new doctor while you have those 22 pills and tell them you want a safe taper plan. A good doctor will understand and work with you. If you call up begging for pills, you'll scare your primary off, which is sounds like you did. She should understand since she gave them to you. Spoken like a true non-addict, get a foot massage, what jackass thing to say to someone.

Last edited by mod85; 04-30-2013 at 05:09 PM.

 
Old 05-01-2013, 04:59 PM   #15
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Re: Need support! terrified...

I didn't take a pill today and slept a little. I'm very anxious though. I think my withdrawals are no sleep, anxiety and I cry over everything. If that's as bad as it gets, I'll consider myself lucky. Ill try to take only two tomorrow, gotta work, gotta function.
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