Hello brook181 and welcome.
Recovery can be an enlightening experience for those who embark on its road.
It appears that you are beginning to equate this drug in a negative context,which is good.
You are in the right place,for advice and support,in a non-judgemental fashion.
Have you considered a plan of action going forward?
I don't want to overwhelm you with too much information all at once,so i'll take it the same way that recovery should be approached;one step at a time.
Are there any specific questions you have,or should I begin?