Hi, I really need help with my cocaine addiction before I loose the only special thing in my life, my wife and my children!
I've been addicted to cocaine for 5 years now (using daily) and I just can't seem to control myself, when I don't have it I need it and when I've taken it I feel depressed, lonely and a complete moron. I feel like everybody is talking about me, I swear here my wife on the phone to her (non-existent) boyfriend, I accuse her of everything under the sun, I'm even getting to the point where I think my 10 and 12 year old kids are in on the 'conspiracy' too!.
I'm starting to doubt my whole life, cause every thing good that happens to me just gets jumped all over and ruined...right back from when the earliedt age I can remember everything always goes wrong, and I can't take no more...that's why I turned to cocaine in the first place, at first it supressed all the hatred I had for my life, now it is the main cause!! I can't go on like this for much longer, please, please someone help me out of this hole so I can be a propper father and husband again.....
The following user gives a hug of support to Nick1982: Phoenix (05-29-2013)
I'm so glad you're reaching out for help. I know it's not easy to take this step, but it does really sound like you want to conquer this addiction. And I just wanted to say that I'm praying for you-that you'll have the strength to do what needs to be done and find help in dealing with this.
I also wanted to suggest that if you're serious about getting clean, you get in touch with a counselor or drug addiction program. It's really so hard to fight something like this on your own, and it's vital to get some out outside support.
Perhaps you could start by contacting the Salvation Army. They have Adult Rehabilitation Centers that could be helpful. I also know groups like Overcomer's Outreach or the Lighthouse Network offer assistance for those struggling with addiction. So, just FYI.
Well, I hope some of this info is helpful. God be with you friend.
Well, it is so difficult to stop using cocaine because the longer you are away from it the stronger the cravings get, probably because your brain associates cocaine with survival. It has nothing to do with will power because will power is useless in a cocaine addiction. However, there are suppliments that can stabilize your brain and cut the cravings. There is an amino acid called N Acetyl Cysteine that reduces the cravings for cocaine. The amino acids L Tyrosine and L Glutamine also help decrease cravings Also take a good multi vitamin and B12. Hope this helps....... .
Since I really don't have first hand experience with addiction, my input may not seem important. But I do want to say that you are not alone so please don't try to do this all on your own. But you have to reach out to the people that you love and ask them for support. Believe me, people love you! I know you may think everyone is talking about you or maybe you feel like you don't want to drag them thru "your problem". You have a family. Just like you don't want to lose them, I'm sure they don't want to lose you. But keeping everything a secret or something no one wants to talk about won't help!! You're feeling depressed because of the thoughts and illusion you created that your life is over and it's too late for you. If that were true, I wouldn't blame you for turning to coke! But a THOUGHT IS JUST A THOUGHT! It's not real!!!! The reality is that you do have a wife and family! Don't go through it alone. Let your loved ones know so they can help you and give you the support you need. Get a professional to learn how to deal with the physical support. But if you want to stop using for your family, let them be there for you. You have to believe that you are not alone and you have to believe that you WILL beat this. Have faith in yourself!
Sorry if this sounds a little too 'koombaya'! I just know similar stories. And I hope you are able to surround yourself with positive people.
I'm starting to doubt my whole life, cause every thing good that happens to me just gets jumped all over and ruined...right back from when the earliedt age I can remember everything always goes wrong, and I can't take no more...that's why I turned to cocaine in the first place, at first it supressed all the hatred I had for my life, now it is the main cause!!
Hello Nick1982 and welcome.
I believe that you hit the nail right on the head here.
Identifying negativity and associating it with the narcotic is an important step,which will need to be placed into perspective at different intervals of your recovery.
Are you prepared to do things you've never done before,in order to have something unattained before?
The first step is realizing that you are powerless over this drug and that no matter how it is spinned,re-entry into this lifestyle will always be a losing battle.
We're here to help.
Please feel free to respond at your earliest convenience,if you're up to it.