The hard truth in your own words - Addiction & Recovery Message Board

GinaLee · 03-06-2003, 06:28 AM

If each of you could say one thing to someone you loved that is addicted to alcohol (or other substance) that would just be as blatant (maybe even cruel) and "no holds barred" to try to get him or her to wake up and do something about their addiction...what would it be?
I suppose most of you would find it very difficult to just say what you wanted to say due to the love you have for the addicted person... you know? But since you aren't having to worry about the backlash of such a statement in this forum...I would like to read the toughest eye-opening words that you either have said or wish you could say. Pour your heart out and don't hold back.

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Gina

Geneva · 03-06-2003, 09:20 AM

My husband became addicted to crack 4 years ago.

I have told him everything I felt...no holds barred...
I have screamed, hit him, broken things, flushed his wedding ring down the toilet and smashed mine...I have sprayed painted our bedroom walls with obscenties.....In other words I have acted like the one on drugs...I was acting crazy...And you know none of these things worked...It didn't make him stop...

If you are looking for the magic words they are none.. I had to take care of myself and I started going to ALanon...saved my sanity. Can't tell you how much it has helped me...And with me getting better it actually helped my husband...He has been clean for 7 months...If he uses again its on him...It's not my responsibility...I need to take care of myself and see that yes I would like a life with him but I will make it no matter what he does...

Hope you find what you are looking for...words don't work....action does...take care of yourself....

GinaLee · 03-06-2003, 02:18 PM

Thank You Geneva; I'm not looking for magic words; I'm looking for your heartfelt feelings on how it makes you feel dealing with the addicted individual.
I want to read how his/her addiction has affected you. It would mean a lot to me. It really would.

If you are the addicted person...I'd like to know what goes through your mind during your "high" and the resolutions you make to yourself...and the resolves that don't come through for you. What makes you continue the alcohol..the drug..etc.?

I need insight and understanding from both sides of addiction. Please contribute your thoughts.

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Gina

[This message has been edited by GinaLee (edited 03-06-2003).]

openseason · 03-06-2003, 04:05 PM

An addict takes drugs to escape. Thats why anything you say to an addict has no effect. If an alcoholic feels threatened or nervous he just has another beer and all his anxiety goes away.

Risky Business · 03-06-2003, 04:52 PM

Dear members and Ginalee: The only words I could express is words that could or did work for myself. Basically, by saying "I Love You" unconditionally, will sometimes let the one you love break any walls.

By that....I mean that if in some cases...you are able to break the barriers...then you can communicate without any dissention or perceived notions.

When this happens, then there seems to be a greater chance that your message that your message can be understood. I hope these are words of wisdom and they come from experiences.

I wish you the very best and hopefully others can give you good advice also. Good luck and may you have great strength,

Risky Business