gina girl, you gotta do this, i know it is mental hell right, but we are all here for you. just look at how many people you've made feel better in your posts to them. you have a gift for loving your fellowman.we need many more like you in this world. we can't afford to lose you and we need you healthy and stronger than ever!! the day will come. you can do this. we are all behind you. don't be ashamed when you mess up, just dust yourself off and hold your head up high and begin again. you can do it. you are loved my friend!!