You sure have your hands full. Have you ever considered a nursing home? My mother took care of her mother-in-law for 5 years until she died, then took care of her own mother for 13 years until, kind of like you, it got to be too much and she had to choose her sanity and her marriage over her demanding mother. It was a very hard decision. She talked to many other people locally about the different places and visited alot of them then chose one she thought her mom would like best. It was very hard for her to do this but the peace she gained by not having that constant battle/anxiety was worth it in the long run.
In the end I think my mom decided that it wasn't fair to her husband to keep this impossible woman around. In your case, it's not just your sanity. It can't be good for your health to have that constant battle and stress. Whatever you decide to do, good luck to you. It is heartbreaking either way.
Hi Carreen...Thank you so much for responding to my post. It has been a really tough go these years...but now that I have found a place where I can vent my feelings, I think it will make it easier for me to cope.. I hope anyway!
I wish we could consider a nursing home..but with me living on a fixed income, no family to help and my husband working overtime every week just to make ends meet, the nursing home situation is out of the question. Mom also only gets 200.00 per month in Social Security. I also have a friend who is a nurse who did nothing but work in Nursing Homes in my area for years and she said that they are so understaffed...she quit nursing in Nursing homes because it was too much. So it seems like that is out for us.
But I will call senior services and try to find out what I can about assisted living on a sliding scale or soemthing like that...
It just helps alot to know that I am not alone in this and that other people know what I am talking about.
Thank you for your support and good wishes...It will work out somehow!!
Hi Patty,
You've definately got your hands full. I totally understand how frustrating the situation with your mother is. Your story sounds very similar to mine, however, my physical problems aren't as severe as yours are.
During the 12 years that I cared for my mother (at the same time trying to keep my family running smoothly, and working full time & dealing with my own physical problems), I became increasingly depressed. It is quite a draining ordeal, both physically & mentally/emotionally.
I really do understand how you are feeling. Hang in there Patty! Keep those lines of communication with God open!!
Val
[This message has been edited by moderator3 (edited 03-25-2002).]
Thank you so much for the letter of support! It's truly amazing how much it is helping to hear from others who have gone through the same type of things. I don't feel as alone in this as I did, and that in itself is helping me to cope better
I definitely will email you later on this weekend! Thank you for the kind words
Looking for some support and want to share in helping others 
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