Death & Dying - Aging Issues Message Board

02-11-2003, 12:45 AM

I watched my grandfather die (cancer). I made it home(for three days) about a week before my dad passed away(from smoking).I watched my mother in law die(cancer). I knew the last time I saw my grandmother that she wouldn't be here much more(diabetes). I was right.As I watched and waited I prayed to God that he would take them. That he wouldn't let them suffer any more. I told my grandfather to go as he laid in the bed.He was in a drug induced sleep. Told him grandma was waiting for him. I still wonder to this day if he heard me.That was 20 years ago. Does this make me a bad person? I'll probably end up in hell for what I asked God to do but I didn't want them to suffer any more. I sit here now crying cause yes I miss them. But after what the disease and meds did to them they'd had had enough. Now my mom is in a nursing home and I hope I can make it home one more time before the end. She has diabetes and Parkinsons.

32skater · 02-11-2003, 07:15 PM

You know, suffering is so difficult for them and for
you. Don't blame yourself and make yourself miserable
as you only want what is best for them. You have
feelings, too, and you have not done anything wrong,
but praying that they be cared for. God bless you!
I am going through a trying time with my Mother, she
is also in Health Care, and it is so difficult,
probably more for us than for them. Keep in touch!

franjo · 02-12-2003, 10:26 AM

Hi Irish Cream,

No, you are not a bad person for thinking these things. As the above post states....you are human with human feelings, and God knows that....after all, He made us that way!

As my mother was taking her final breaths, I didn't think I could take one SECOND more. It's the most helpless feeling, because our instincts are to help when we see suffering. But there are times when there's nothing we can do to help....it's maddening.

I too asked God to just take her. I cried this out in desperation....she took one more breath and then died. Keep in mind, too, that God knows exactly how much each of us can handle, and as long as He allows us to breathe, He is still working through us to perfect His will.

Don't beat yourself up over this. You sound like someone who loves, and if THAT isn't why we're here, then I don't know what other reason there could be. Take care and God Bless.....franjo

ARIZONA73 · 02-21-2003, 05:48 PM

An extremely uplifting book to read is "Embraced by the Light", by Betty J. Eadie. She had actually died following surgery, but was brought back to life. She tells of her experiences on the other side, and being comforted by Jesus, who told her that she had died prematurely, that it was not yet her time, and that she had to return. It is living proof that there is life after death. In fact, a great many other people have had similar experiences. We do NOT die!

poreoilyme · 04-15-2003, 12:58 AM

It's just a body. Your spirit can't die. It's not physical.

There is a difference between compassion and killing. Cream, you were compassionate. If there is an ultimate judgment, it goes by what is in the heart, and yours was full of love.