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Old 02-28-2005, 05:00 AM   #1
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Cloverberry52 HB User
Old Age

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body- the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read until 4 a.m, and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's, and if I at the same time wish to weep over a lost love, I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten - and I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say "no", and mean it. I can say "yes", and mean it. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.



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Old 02-28-2005, 06:10 AM   #2
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sculpture HB User
Re: Old Age

Wow. That was a lovely post. I feel envious of you. I can only hope that someday I will feel as good as you do. I am happy for you.

 
Old 02-28-2005, 11:06 AM   #3
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greeneyes100 HB User
Re: Old Age

Beautiful post! I feel like that a lot of times mentally, but I don't like the way I look physically as I age. Guess that makes me vain, but if I can save enough for plastic surgery, I certainly intend to do it!


 
Old 02-28-2005, 11:50 AM   #4
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Cloverberry52 HB User
Re: Old Age

Quote:
Originally Posted by greeneyes100
Guess that makes me vain, but if I can save enough for plastic surgery, I certainly intend to do it!

you're not vain. We should all do what we can to make ourselves feel better and if it's platic surgery for you then so be it. Don't feel vain and don't let any one else make you feel bad about it.

 
Old 02-28-2005, 01:37 PM   #5
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Re: Old Age

Thanks a lot. I needed to hear that.

 
Old 03-27-2005, 09:22 PM   #6
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Soibhan HB User
Re: Old Age

Wow, Cloverberry........I want to party with you!!! Way to go! What a great attitude. And that's what it's all about anyway, right?

 
Old 03-28-2005, 08:03 AM   #7
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twanger HB User
Re: Old Age

Hey Cloverberry. I was on the menopause board with you several times. It looks like you made the transition and that you are doing well. Maybe you ought to post this one there to give the ladies going through peri some hope. This is a great posting and having made it through the transition also ( only anxiety left) I am beginning to feel just as you described.

It feels good at times to be free of the worry over our bodies and our beauty. Finally, the inside beauty can come out. Thank God we have that.

 
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