It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Aging Issues Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-30-2005, 11:46 AM   #1
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 197
neflin HB User
What is Old? Am I there Yet? I Just Do Not Feel It!

I thought when I was younger and bringing up the children and dealing with the stress of making a husband happy and keeping all things working smoothly were the toughest years. I was wrong. I am finding that these are really very confusing years. I do not even know how old is old and how young is young. I go to the beauty shop every five weeks so that they can work their wonders on me so that I am attractive (in a way) to my husband and the young women like to crowd around me and talk as they say I am young for my age and am fun to talk to. This even confuses me worse. They constantly ask me about growing older and my life with my husband as they are searching and want to know what their life will be at this age. I do not know what to tell them. What do you say? They do not know and want to know. I just tell them that it is no different with us than it is with their husbands. This is all part of the aging issues but when I leave the beauty parlor I do not feel good as I feel older as they have made me feel like I am some kind of an old person who is not supposed to enjoy life because she is older.


This is my hardest time. I am too old to be young and too young to be old. I am just having a terrible time of it. Society says that I am supposed to act old yet I feel so young and alive and am so far from aging that it is not funny. When I was younger I thought when I got to this age I would probably be near dead. I can remember my Grandmother died a year earlier than I am and even though I am a Grandmother I am more important a woman who loves life and her husband. I never thought in the deepest corner of my mind that I would have the feelings in life that I have now.
It is the most puzzling time of my life. I never knew this would have existed.

I wonder if there are other women or men out there my age who are having this terrible time at this point in life. I think often of the movie Fried Green Tomatoes. Not that I am one of those women in the movie that sits in a circle with a mirror to learn her vagina as I do not have that problem but just the women in general in the movie facing growing older. Now I am closer to 69 than 68 and in great moments feel 28 and others around 58. I am sure my husband does not know sometimes who will be walking into the room. When I mess up with directions sometimes it makes me furious. Only with myself. I do not want to slow down and fight every bit of it.

How do you other women or even men in this age group handle this? Do we all have these hang ups or am I just super sensitive at this age? Please believe me I am not afraid of dying or anything. Just as long as I die in his arms.

Last edited by neflin; 12-30-2005 at 01:15 PM. Reason: Altered

 
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to neflin For This Useful Post:
Jed10 (08-03-2012), Joan Anderson (07-06-2012)
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 12-30-2005, 12:02 PM   #2
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: ansonia,ct.,usa
Posts: 192
dutch-ny HB User
Re: What is Old? Am I there Yet? I Just Do Not Feel It!

I think at the age of 58,that I am old and most days I feel 30. I am male married 28 yrs., When wife comes in the room I feel like I am 30,when she leaves I become like 88.I look at women and they seem like my daughter ,they seem so young. My doctor when I was young said I would not live to the age of 18, Now i am 58!!!!!!!!! My aunt just made 97 in December 05, So what is old??

 
Old 12-30-2005, 08:14 PM   #3
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 197
neflin HB User
Re: What is Old? Am I there Yet? I Just Do Not Feel It!

I agree, my worse problems comes with the younger, say around 46 like our daughter when they get thinking you are getting old. Sometime is gets depressing when people think because you are in your late 60's that you are old and I do not feel old. Guess will worry about it in my late 70's if I make it. Never thought I would get this old either. Guess it is all the Medicare stuff and bad knees from golfing that get to you. Or my favorite is at a bank cashing a check or somewhere that I have to show my ID and you hear "Oh, I did not know you were that old". Lord how I love that. Really makes my day. Sets me in depression until I realize I probably would have said the same thing a few years ago to someone. Oh well, so goes life.
Take care.

 
Old 12-31-2005, 05:03 AM   #4
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 287
Kaycee41 HB User
Re: What is Old? Am I there Yet? I Just Do Not Feel It!

I work in a medical office with mostly 20-something women. The other day there was some confusion about which client had asked for a refill. I said "is it that man who just left", (he was in his 20's). The girls said "oh, no,....this guy was old....he was like 35". They were very embarrassed when they remembered that I'm in my mid 40's!

 
Old 12-31-2005, 02:46 PM   #5
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 197
neflin HB User
Re: What is Old? Am I there Yet? I Just Do Not Feel It!

MrBojangle: you have just made my day. You two sound so much like my husband and myself. We just do everything together and I adore him. We have had our share of his double knee replacements, rotar cuff tear, gall bladder out, three hernia operations, appendix (all him) but with the doctor's help they keep gluing him back together. It is so funny how at this age you can look at your loved one and he looks just the same as the sailor I married 47 years ago. Love is deeper and more passionate even though our days are getting shorter.

I guess I just treasure life so much and deep down just may not be admitting that the fear of ever living without him would be too much to bare. All these things are just part of growing old but until recently I have never thought of it before. It has probably hit me since I discovered this Board less than two weeks ago. The words of all the people on this Board is so great and I loved the story of you and your wife. I will remember it well. Thank you. Happy New Year to you and yours.

 
The Following User Says Thank You to neflin For This Useful Post:
Joan Anderson (07-06-2012)
Old 12-31-2005, 02:57 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 1,566
6foot3 HB User
Re: What is Old? Am I there Yet? I Just Do Not Feel It!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaycee41
I work in a medical office with mostly 20-something women. The other day there was some confusion about which client had asked for a refill. I said "is it that man who just left", (he was in his 20's). The girls said "oh, no,....this guy was old....he was like 35". They were very embarrassed when they remembered that I'm in my mid 40's!
That hurts kaycee. LOL Im 42, We are the MTV generation (Madonna, Duran Duran, Ratt etc..) Most people think im alot younger than my age.I guess its genes and attitude!! (Thank god for VH1 classics) later!!
__________________
To surpass the 120 yr Life Span !!!!

 
Old 12-31-2005, 10:13 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 644
wmkcolors HB Userwmkcolors HB User
Re: What is Old? Am I there Yet? I Just Do Not Feel It!

I think alot of it has to do with how healthy you feel, because that is everything. Filter out the rest. If you feel healthy, you are young. I am in my 30s and recently battled cancer. My mom just died of cancer, in her 50s. I have been so exhausted that I FEEL old and look tired. If you have your health and are in a good relationship(s), that is everything and reflects all your beauty and vitality.

 
Old 01-01-2006, 09:41 AM   #8
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 197
neflin HB User
Re: What is Old? Am I there Yet? I Just Do Not Feel It!

Quote:
Originally Posted by wmkcolors
I think alot of it has to do with how healthy you feel, because that is everything. Filter out the rest. If you feel healthy, you are young. I am in my 30s and recently battled cancer. My mom just died of cancer, in her 50s. I have been so exhausted that I FEEL old and look tired. If you have your health and are in a good relationship(s), that is everything and reflects all your beauty and vitality.
I am so happy that you are doing well. Our oldest son has battled cancer since he was 22. He is now 45. Lost a lot of tissue from different parts of moles being taken out from melonoma's but we are still so happy so far they find them. I guess each and every phase of life is a rough time.

I am so happy that you are doing well. Just have a wonderful Happy New Year and I am so sorry about your Mother. Stay well.

 
Old 01-06-2006, 01:14 PM   #9
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 225
Countrygirl1 HB User
Re: What is Old? Am I there Yet? I Just Do Not Feel It!

I am 44 and feel so very old. To me, life has passed me by on a fast train. I have been running after it, but can't seem to catch it. Now, I am getting more tired and not running after the train as fast.

 
Old 01-06-2006, 04:58 PM   #10
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 197
neflin HB User
Re: What is Old? Am I there Yet? I Just Do Not Feel It!

I think many times when I was your age I felt that way too. You just seem so darn tired out. Sometimes I would sit back and wonder what I had accomplished.

Now I sit back and wonder what I have done to be so happy and content at this age. One day you feel down but today is just a great day. Just happy to be alive. I guess thinking about it we start aging since the day we were born. That would make me 25,035 days old give or take a few. Despite looking at those numbers I am just so happy to be alive. I guess I should be as that is OLD. Just keep on kickin. Take care.

 
Old 01-06-2006, 11:57 PM   #11
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 32
anlina HB User
Re: What is Old? Am I there Yet? I Just Do Not Feel It!

I feel like I should be in my twenties still -- since I haven't accomplished anything in life.

I'd resolved not to let myself "feel" old, no matter what my chronological age -- but society makes that very difficult. I get offered senior citizen discounts, people ask if I have grandchildren, etc. Today a neighbor said he'd seen me with my "son." I am 54, and the man he was referring to is my 54-y.o. significant other!

 
Old 01-07-2006, 07:45 AM   #12
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 197
neflin HB User
Re: What is Old? Am I there Yet? I Just Do Not Feel It!

Now I will agree that is a kick in the teeth. But I would say that your neighbor needs glasses. I, too, lately refuse to grow old. My husband is a carbon copy of me and we just have a ball. We have decided this morning at 4 A.M. that we definitely are not going to grow old. We had just made the decision we were still young and to go to Disneyland in Florida. I just made reservations at the Contemporary on the 12th floor overlooking the park so that we could see the fireworks and be on the monorail to go back in time and really groove for 4 days. They have carts you can rent for the day at $35 a day for each of us and we are really going to have some fun.

So many crazy things happen at these ages. Recently I had to stop at the drugstore to get some lubricant. It had been a while since I had picked some up and always got KY. I was looking at all the stuff they had and it blew my mind. Some kindly man of about my age who was additional help came up and asked me if he could help me find what I wanted. I thought you sick old man like you are going to help me find this. I politely told him no laughing to myself. I then went to the pharmacist to ask for help as truthfully so many things there. She took me to an area near the check out counter for prescriptions and there they had some great lubricants. I was blown away. There sitting on three chairs were three elderly women, probably about my age and younger, but I am one of the cool young elderly women watching me. One looked so prim that she would crack in half if she smiled. The neat female pharmacist pointed out the lubricants to me smiling all the time. Little did she know I was a sex fiend. When she came to the strawberry superglide my eyes lighted up like a slot machine. All I could think was flavored sex. Unfortunately my mouth said it loud enough too as I could not believe it. The pharmacist laughed and I being who I am was not embarrassed but I looked and one lady was laughing, one lady did not acknowledge that she had heard me and the prim one was white and had crawled down into her chair.

So with this in mind, guess I am not that old. Welcome to my world

Last edited by neflin; 01-07-2006 at 07:47 AM. Reason: Still learning how to spell.

 
Old 01-08-2006, 07:12 AM   #13
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 65
candle66 HB User
Unhappy Re: What is Old? Am I there Yet? I Just Do Not Feel It!

Well I am 41 and I feel old. I think society makes women feel old by the time we reach reach 30. Men on the other hand are still considered attractive at 45, women are considered old.

I am 41 and pregnant. let me tell you, I walk into the gyn's office feeling happy being pregnant and then I see a room full of pregnant women in their 20's who look at me in horror! lol

Since I have hit 40 I find myself comparing myself with other people who are 40, I always think do I look that old!!!!

I have thought about having a little pastic surgery and and there but then you don't look any better than an old car that's been repainted.

Not much we can do.

 
Old 01-08-2006, 08:21 AM   #14
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 197
neflin HB User
Re: What is Old? Am I there Yet? I Just Do Not Feel It!

Quote:
Originally Posted by candle66
Well I am 41 and I feel old. I think society makes women feel old by the time we reach reach 30. Men on the other hand are still considered attractive at 45, women are considered old.

I am 41 and pregnant. let me tell you, I walk into the gyn's office feeling happy being pregnant and then I see a room full of pregnant women in their 20's who look at me in horror! lol

Since I have hit 40 I find myself comparing myself with other people who are 40, I always think do I look that old!!!!

I have thought about having a little pastic surgery and and there but then you don't look any better than an old car that's been repainted.

Not much we can do.
Congratulations on the new baby. That is so wonderful. You are not old. They are young. Sometime I think back and wish I had my children later in life. We were so young as I had them at 21, 23 and 28. I was still such a child in many ways. We just did not have enough years at that time for me to truly grow up and be prepared for the Mother I could have been with a few years of growing up with my husband. She was born 9 months and 15 days after we were married. Need I say more of the morals of our age. But we did have fun.........


The first thing you should do when looking at those other women in their 40's is say I look a lot better than they do. Make yourself feel good in everything you do. That is so important. You are important. There is only one person like you and that is your special quality. Oh I am sure plastic surgery some people like but I have found as I age that I feel so great about life and am still so in love with my husband that this makes me feel young. I am now closer to being 69 than 68 but as long as I do not feel this in my soul and heart with him and I look at him and melt what truly does age matter. I find these are the true secrets of staying young. My husband is still my lover and best friend. I truly believe if a woman can accomplish this in life and get to the age I am and have the feelings I have for him and never let it get away at any time with all the stresses in life and children growing up and all the things that try to pull them apart yet cling to each other that those secrets are what make us what we are today.

Sometimes I sit back and pinch myself wondering where the years have gone. He will be 70 in March yet I can look at him and do not see a 70 year old man I see my sailor of years ago that I fell madly in love with and still am to this day. I think if a woman or man can look at their partner in life and always retain the ability to do this is the secret to a wonderful life and holding "Father Time" off. Sure I know I am aging but my heart is still so young............Honey you are still a baby. Have a wonderful life.


I really think that aging is much harder on us women than men. Like you said you go into the OB Waiting Room and see these "youngster's expecting". But who is going to make the better parent? You know that it is you. I so wish that I would have been your age when I had a child. Had time to appreciate it more. I tell my husband that and he cringes as he liked having them young. But truly you are the lucky one. Looking at the beauty books and ads you are right that once a woman gets to her 30's she is heading for the pastures. Makes a woman dread growing older. I still say getting here you will like it. For me at that age I was too busy to think about it but this is a different culture then I was in. Yet as women we are one and the same. Thanks much.

Last edited by neflin; 01-08-2006 at 12:38 PM. Reason: added paragraph

 
Old 01-08-2006, 11:58 AM   #15
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 197
neflin HB User
Re: What is Old? Am I there Yet? I Just Do Not Feel It!

Quote:
Originally Posted by hummingbirdkiss
I want all the years - young, middle-aged, and old. I spent many years being young and have used them all up. I liked being young but now I am 53 and am using up my middle-aged years. I feel middle-aged and I like it. When those years are gone, I want to experience being old. I don't want to die without having experienced it. I want the whole thing.
Thank you again my friend who wrote me the wonderful note during my anger. You truly made my day.

I used up all those younger years too but I do not know where they went. I blinked an eye and they were gone. Where has my life gone? It seems like yesterday I married my husband. I want to experience being old too but how do you tell your mind this and the age catches up with you and you feel 28 at some great moments and at the best 58. I swear it is truly one of the craziest things in my life. I do not know where the years have gone. Sometimes I wonder would I wish I had my life to live over and the answer is NO. I am so happy here that I could not bear to go back and go through all that again. I do cherish every minute of life but being where I have been and am is to me the most wonderful surprise of my life. This truly blows my mind. I was not expecting it.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
I'm not sure what I can do. Jeremy Matte Depression 38 09-19-2010 04:09 AM
Why is it that I always feel hollow. No matter what. MrZeely Relationship Health 26 04-25-2008 10:49 AM
What to say? NVD Depression 90 06-28-2007 11:51 AM
Ok if this can be labelled "normal" then what is labelled "crazy?!" samcunningham Depression 2 08-13-2006 06:59 AM
What's A Friend To Do... Part III BLUE EYED LADY Relationship Health 145 09-01-2005 08:56 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Botox
Morphine
Potassium
Prednisone
Prozac
  Renova
Retin-a
Synthroid
Tylenol Vioxx




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



JohnR41 (8), tinam7 (5), jamie4444 (5), jumprosel (4), Machaon (3), neflin (3), Misty800 (2), hypatia (2), curly fry (2), james079 (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1177), MSJayhawk (1004), Apollo123 (903), Titchou (847), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (753), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (668), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:39 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!