I know it's all been posted before - Aging Issues Message Board

cyberv · 07-22-2008, 09:29 AM

For the first time, I am really feeling "old" I feel like such a has been! Everything is geared to the young. I don't feel pretty any more. Thing have gone down since my getting booted out of the band (see other post) My hair is now so thin I am going to cut it all off and start wearing wigs..otherwise I don't look my age at all, but I still feel so unattractive. Looking 10 years younger is still looking 44, not really old at 44 but you know what I mean. I have my hands full with a disabled husband and I have custody of my granddaughter (5 years now...she just turned 11) Maybe I'm just in a mood

I think it's harder for woman.....

mimi2945 · 07-22-2008, 12:06 PM

I said the same thing this morning as I looked into my 63 year old eyes and wondered "what happened to that pretty girl I used to be?" My husband still thinks so, but I know the truth...my hair is thinning just like yours, and I've gained 25 pounds since retiring 2 years ago, I've got a daughter going through a divorce, my son is married to the girl from he**, my stepchildren fight like they were 5 and my mother-in-law lives less than a mile from me!!
Please relish being 44--it won't happen again...I know you have it tough but don't let it get you down..because believe me, it could be a lot worse. You're still very young...enjoy it, because 63 will get there real, real fast.

cyberv · 07-22-2008, 01:20 PM

Thank you for your response...Oh! I am 54 in October. I also was just told my Dr that my mammogram I had the other day found something and I have to go for an ultrasound tomorrow

Ssssseeeesh I feel awfull

golfhat · 07-27-2008, 09:15 AM

When I was 51 my grandson was born. Up til that time I could pass for 10 years younger!
then my second grandchild was born and I quit work to work only part-time from home. I guess the stress of the second one and not going to work everyday had a bad effect on my physically. Over the last 7 years I have gained 25 lbs. I have more lax neck muscles and jaw line, which shows age, and also under my eyes I am looking older.

I can still look good with makeup but no longer look younger than my age. Part of my problem is being on estrogen. the hormones make you gain weight and you DO look different. But it happens to everyone. I can spot a celeb who is on estrogen. You can just tell.

My second grandson had some developmental & physical problems early on. He is fine now and in school, etc., but I can see the effects stress has. My husband who is 10 years older has two heart stents and I worry about him too.

This is just part of getting older!!! Almost everyone I know has these same issues. I also have a mom who has dementia and needs a caregiver for a few hours each day.
She is No longer driving, doing her own bills, etc. We have to lock the stove so she won't burn the house down. (She puts styrofoam in the oven to reheat food for instance...)

It's always something when you have grandchildren, eldery parent, nieces and nephews who are always getting married or having babies or dating the wrong people.
Then I got laid off because a new company merged with mine so i am not even working part-time anymore!

Oh well.
Once you are in the late 50s you have to accept some things as just natural. We are not movie stars. Waht you see in magazines is photo shopped. Same for tv. You don't think Oprah really looks like that do you? She is actually pretty old looking without all the makeup, wigs and lighting. And girdles.

Be happy you are loved and happy, (if you are). Make the most of each day. Diet if you need to and walk each day. Talk to people when you are out. Play bridge or golf, or swim, etc. Do SOMETHING to keep alert. Dementia will occur to most people past 80---the brain ages and there is nothing we can do about it.

Take stock of your life and change what you can and accept the rest. Be happy and don't watch the news too much.

kathryn+2 · 07-27-2008, 11:49 AM

Yes golfhat I totally agree. I too always looked very young for my age. I am 56 now and have found that menopause and stress has taken a toll on my looks. I still look pretty good ,and younger then my age ,but in the last 3 years I think i've aged dramatically. 3 years ago my mom died ,my grandchilden, whom I say almost daily, moved to another state ,and I was diagnosed with lupus and fibromyalgia. My looks really took a hit and i've had to let that part of me go.And hopefully this doesn't sound too vain ,but my looks were a large part of my identity.I've had to do a lot of soulsearching to find joy and meaning in my life now. My husband bought a motorcycle last year and much to my surprise I like riding with him. We have a lot of fun ,and it has brought us closer together. I've also gotten into my gardening ,reading books i've always wanted to get too,swimming at the gym ,and connecting more with friends.This sounds so trite I know ...but sometimes you do need to figure out how to make lemonade out of lemons. It didn't happen overnight though that's for sure. I had to go through the mourning process for my mom ,my grandkids ,my health and my looks. But I'm okay now.
cyberv, like golfhat said ,we have to quit comparing yourself to celeberties who have had plastic surgery ,have a personal trainer ,a stylist ,and still have to be airbrushed in photos. That is so not what real women in their 50's look like. Also ,how did the ultrasound turn out? I hope everything is okay .
Hang in there. I think most women go through some soulsearching at this time in their life. I guess that's where the phrase midlife crisis comes from
Kate