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Old 11-02-2008, 03:31 PM   #1
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Can't seem to snap out of it....I have so much but am depressed over aging?

Silly....I googled "I hate getting old" and it sent me here. I read everything related to vanity and getting older but guess I just want to vent. I don't get it. How can I have so much and be so sad over my looks going and aging? I am 50 and I swear in the last month I have sagged and wrinkled more that the past 5...wham, all at once. Stupid? I have an 11 year old daughter who is my reason, a pretty good marriage, I love my job and it is my purpose, a few loyal friends, stable financially, spiritual grace abounds and I can't stand the obsession of aging. Am I alone in this? I need therapy I guess. Thanks for listening. (reading)

 
Old 11-02-2008, 04:11 PM   #2
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Re: Can't seem to snap out of it....I have so much but am depressed over aging?

Welcome to the boards, luckywho!

It is understandable that you would feel the way you do...stop and think about the messages on TV, magazines, and billboards, etc. emphazing and catering to youth despite the fact that we are the "Now" generation, given our numbers (and our wisdom, ).

Counseling may help and if your feelings continue, I would encourage it...but keep in mind sometimes these "feelings" are due to physical changes/conditions so you might just want to keep that in the back of your head.

And good for you for having an 11 year old daughter...I'm sure she'll keep you young forever!!

Bethsheba

 
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Old 11-06-2008, 01:09 AM   #3
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Re: Can't seem to snap out of it....I have so much but am depressed over aging?

I've never been blessed with good looks so I guess that's why I don't get depressed over the wrinkles etc, you can't lose what you've never had! I'd stop buying magazines, they're full of young impossible beauties, and stop watching adverts, they make anyone over 30 feel obsolete. You need to shift your focus to the positive things in life. It's what's on the inside that counts, good health and good friends.

 
Old 11-08-2008, 05:53 PM   #4
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Re: Can't seem to snap out of it....I have so much but am depressed over aging?

Me too! And I swear I was looking young for my age, turned 50 this year and wham!#@$! I swear everything is changing day by day ... and it fast and noticable ... I hate growing older .... this stinks.

I have been thinking a lot about face lifts and why my make-up seems to just sit on my face ... and suddenly my hair just looks flat and I am gain weight and eating less ....

what what what is happening???????

 
Old 11-09-2008, 04:46 AM   #5
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Re: Can't seem to snap out of it....I have so much but am depressed over aging?

I feel the same way. I just turned 51, still can't get over the last birthday! My kids are 30 and 24, the oldest is pregnant with twins.....gosh, now I get to be called "Grandma". I have so much to be greatful for, yet I obsess over aging. You are not alone.

Mary

 
Old 11-09-2008, 08:27 AM   #6
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Re: Can't seem to snap out of it....I have so much but am depressed over aging?

Jade, I knew I wasn't alone in this thinking....good to at least see others say it in print. It just plain sucks. Even Cher has said that all those that say all that stuff about aging is gaining wisdom, etc...are lying because aging sucks. Even with her face lifts she hates it....although I can't help but think it might make it better. I too am seriously considering having cosmetic work done. I am not fooling myself. I know how old I am...I just want to look like a refreshed 50. I just hate these feelings and feel guilty for having them because I am blessed. Who knows......thanks for being out there!

 
Old 11-09-2008, 08:35 AM   #7
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Re: Can't seem to snap out of it....I have so much but am depressed over aging?

Mary, Well, try being told what a lovely granddaughter I have when she is really my daughter. I tell myself it's because she looks nothing like me so people assume she's my granddaughter because my student's tell me there is no way I'm 50....45, but not 50. What do they know? Maybe having the joy of little ones around will ease the aging depression a bit? Yeah, right. There are options and choices and yet I decide to sit in this gloom. I don't buy magazines or watch young stuff on TV...I do everything to avoid the images out there. I stay focused on my kid, job, friends and hobbies but the obsessions remains......I'll keep praying or start saving $$ for face procedures? So glad you are out there admitting to it too!

 
Old 11-14-2008, 12:47 PM   #8
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Re: Can't seem to snap out of it....I have so much but am depressed over aging?

You need to think of the positives of getting older.

Last edited by Jocey_11; 11-14-2008 at 12:49 PM.

 
Old 11-24-2008, 10:03 PM   #9
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Re: Can't seem to snap out of it....I have so much but am depressed over aging?

I can totally relate. I am 48 and when I was younger years would go by and I wouldn't notice any changes in my appearance. Now I see the changes every year. Especially when I turned 48 I saw several changes, like flabby arms etc.
I, too feel guilty for obsessing over my looks, but I can't help it. My whole life my looks has been a very important part of my identity and now I am starting to feel that I am losing my identity. People have always commented on my good looks, but that happens more and more seldom. I guess this is just another stage in life to deal with.

 
Old 11-25-2008, 07:16 AM   #10
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Re: Can't seem to snap out of it....I have so much but am depressed over aging?

Ladies,
I understand where you are all coming from. I too hate aging. I am 60 now and it's so hard to believe. I was always the youngest everywhere and now I am one of the oldest, however, I realized that looks aren't the most important thing. Be thankful you have your health and family and friends. Everyone is going to age no matter who they are. None of us is getting out of here alive so try to enjoy every stage of your life. A sunny attitude makes all of us look younger and more fun to be around. I wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving and be thankful for all you have

 
Old 11-25-2008, 11:09 AM   #11
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Re: Can't seem to snap out of it....I have so much but am depressed over aging?

I'm going to second RudiRaven with the sunny attitude thing. I'm 59, have always been rather plain and could now be considered dumpy. I'm convinced that happiness is a choice I make every morning. I know I've said this before, but studies show that if you put a smile on your face your muscles send signals to your brain telling it that you are happy.

 
Old 11-27-2008, 06:16 PM   #12
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Re: Can't seem to snap out of it....I have so much but am depressed over aging?

Two years ago I had some work done on my face and neck (and my neck was looking pretty bad for being in my mid 50's. Sure, I have lots to be thankful for, but I really felt badly about the way I looked (people used to ask me what I was angry or upset about when it was just the aging of my facial skin that was causing a change to my natural expression). Anyhow, it's no one's business but your own if you want to have something done. Sometimes just a little "touch up" here or there can make a big difference (I'm not talking about the extreme work done on celebrities that makes their faces look like masks).

 
Old 12-02-2008, 07:24 AM   #13
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Re: Can't seem to snap out of it....I have so much but am depressed over aging?

Aaaah - you are so YOUNG, Ginseng! You could try hanging out with people older than you and you'll feel positively infantile ;o)

 
Old 12-02-2008, 03:44 PM   #14
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Re: Can't seem to snap out of it....I have so much but am depressed over aging?

Oh Sweetie...Ginsing too young to be feeling this way, but then who am I to put an age limit on it? I actually looked my best in my late thirties so I can't imagine your pain. Guilt seems to go along with all this because we have much to be grateful for. Blessings to all who have the attitude to look old and be happy. I envy that. I am happy except for the looking in the mirror. I have accepted aging and death even but not looking old...think the idea about getting a little work done is near!! Thanks Park 914. Hang in there ladies.

 
Old 12-11-2008, 04:35 PM   #15
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Re: Can't seem to snap out of it....I have so much but am depressed over aging?

Im forty and i know i need some help. I use o be hot I could wear a skimpy two piece bathing suit and drive men crazy. They followed me home on many occassions. I've put on some weight, well after having three kids and on mental health meds.. well you get the picture It really bothers me. I use to be very confident you know no worries about finding a guy. That has changed. I'm considering having a boob and face lift

 
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