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Old 04-30-2010, 01:01 AM   #1
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Question worried / not sure what to do

Hi My father is 84 years old - he lost his wife (My Mother ) back in sept, 2009 and since then I have noticed alot of changes the first major concern is he has severe sleep apnea and has a CPAP machine he has been shown several times how to use it by doctors, nurses, and myself but is not and wont listen to anyone else - so consequently the air is leaking out of mask and therefore he falls asleep up to 6 - 7 hours ad day in a chair at table - he is confused at times and disorientated- he also is not eating very well in the beginning when mum died he was burning his meals on the stove and I thnk he is scared to use it again so all he eats is sliced meats and salads - he has no vegetable unless i cook it for him , the same as red meats. He has been missing alot of his appointments of late but blames the taxi service for not coming - but we know different as the doctors and specialists ring us to tell us. Back in April 2009 he had to hand his drivers license up as he fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident, he has also had a hip replacement but really hasn't recovered well, he has odemea in his legs and has to wear support stockings of which the district nurse puts on every day. He is taking his medication at different times than when he should, and the latest is he says he is going to the UK to find his mothers family - but not knowing anyone, where they are if any, he can't walk anymore than a few 100 metres without a break as he has a walking frame and cannot walk without it. - everytime you ask him if he is alright he says of course i am - but on another note he says his hip is giving him hell and his knee, and cannot stay awake for any longer than a hour- he has his meals all over the place sometimes eating breakfast at 2pm - 4 pm and dinner at 830pm - 1030pm - My wife and myself cannot support him in going to the UK as he is not mentally or physically fit to go but is quite ardemant that he is going WHAT DO WE DO

frustrated son and daughter in law

 
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Old 05-01-2010, 10:22 AM   #2
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Re: worried / not sure what to do

Higgotwo,

I wouldn't let him go to the UK in his present condition. I would take him to a good neurologist to get a complete evaluation of his mental condition. It could be that all of his behavior/forgetfulness is due to lack of sleep. But he may also have a vitamin deficiency or he may have dimentia. Hopefully, a good doctor will be able to separate one thing from another and bring some clarity.

There are neurologists who specialize in diagnosing and treating dimentia.

Last edited by JohnR41; 05-01-2010 at 10:23 AM. Reason: additional thought

 
Old 05-01-2010, 11:50 PM   #3
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Re: worried / not sure what to do

Quote:
Originally Posted by higgotwo View Post
Hi My father is 84 years old - he lost his wife (My Mother ) back in sept, 2009 and since then I have noticed alot of changes the first major concern is he has severe sleep apnea and has a CPAP machine he has been shown several times how to use it by doctors, nurses, and myself but is not and wont listen to anyone else - so consequently the air is leaking out of mask and therefore he falls asleep up to 6 - 7 hours ad day in a chair at table - he is confused at times and disorientated- he also is not eating very well in the beginning when mum died he was burning his meals on the stove and I thnk he is scared to use it again so all he eats is sliced meats and salads - he has no vegetable unless i cook it for him , the same as red meats. He has been missing alot of his appointments of late but blames the taxi service for not coming - but we know different as the doctors and specialists ring us to tell us. Back in April 2009 he had to hand his drivers license up as he fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident, he has also had a hip replacement but really hasn't recovered well, he has odemea in his legs and has to wear support stockings of which the district nurse puts on every day. He is taking his medication at different times than when he should, and the latest is he says he is going to the UK to find his mothers family - but not knowing anyone, where they are if any, he can't walk anymore than a few 100 metres without a break as he has a walking frame and cannot walk without it. - everytime you ask him if he is alright he says of course i am - but on another note he says his hip is giving him hell and his knee, and cannot stay awake for any longer than a hour- he has his meals all over the place sometimes eating breakfast at 2pm - 4 pm and dinner at 830pm - 1030pm - My wife and myself cannot support him in going to the UK as he is not mentally or physically fit to go but is quite ardemant that he is going WHAT DO WE DO

frustrated son and daughter in law

 
Old 05-01-2010, 11:56 PM   #4
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Re: worried / not sure what to do

Thanks for your reply it is very helpful my wife and I will take our next step now and hopefully we come to some conclusion - The other thing is that he wants me to get him another passport application as he spilt his coffee on the other - I feel if I get him another its like we are encouraging him to go - do I get one or just play dumb so to speak and not - also how do we go about telling him he has a problem that he can't see - and get testing done - he says he alright.

 
Old 05-03-2010, 10:01 AM   #5
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Re: worried / not sure what to do

higgotwo,

About the passport application, maybe you could just find reasons for delay. But as far as testing goes, I don't know what you can do if he thinks he's alright. Everyone is different. Some people are agreeable to suggestions for testing and some are not.

Perhaps you might try telling him that he needs a routine check-up before traveling. Then see if the doctor thinks he is fit to travel by himself.

 
Old 05-03-2010, 10:19 PM   #6
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Smile Re: worried / not sure what to do

Thanks for your reply john - Yes that was out other alternative - to get a checkup - but maybe before hand my wife and I go to see the doctor and just fill in the gaps !!!!!!

Because he has short term memory loss thats a concern as well with us. On occasions he cannot recollect as to where he has been that day.


Thanks for the advice

When we get some answers from doctor I will let you know

 
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