Actually he always has been. Have never had a real conversation-I mean where he actually hears what I am saying.(feeling) He is 75 and still working which he tells me over and over again in every phone conversation! Should I really attempt to be real with him or is it just too late?
Should I really attempt to be real with him or is it just too late?
As long as you are on speaking terms with your father, it's never too late to make an attempt at something "real". He may not respond the way you would like him to respond but it's likely that he gets it and appreciates your attempt.
Last edited by JohnR41; 07-26-2011 at 02:09 PM.
Nothing can be better than talking clearly..convey what you think and feel..your feelings might not be understood until you discloset them fully..try to relate to your father..he shall surely understand..or may you will get to know the reason o his behaviour
I can understand your frustration with not feeling a connection with your dad. I feel the same way about mine. We have had some real authentic conversations over the years, but they were rare and few and far between. Sometimes I just really feel like my dad doesn't care much (have interest) for me. I've come to terms with it. Sometimes when I try to force something with him it just turns out awkward, and I feel his resistance to connect. By the way he has struggled with alcoholism all of my life and recently admitted to being depressed.
I don't really try to be friends with my dad anymore because if I'm honest with myself I don't quite like him anymore. His drinking is such a problem, and me and my mom always feel like we aren't or he's not making any progress. Then there's the problem that he's not a provider anymore like he used to be, and my mom often puts me in the middle of their problems by telling me how he hasn't done this or hasn't done that. (sigh) That's life. Well good luck with your dad. I'd say just keep loving him and being kind to him. You could try to be more real with him. Just don't be too surprised if he reacts in the same way he always has, with what I assume is surface cliche type of conversation. Humans are creatures of habit.