Dying doesn't frighten me at all. The thing which causes me the most anxiety is thinking of the possible journey! I'm alone and there is no one who would care of me should I lay up for months or years with cancer. It's my one fear. I actually have cancer-phobia and it causes me serious anxiety. The older I get the worse it becomes!
In all reality, I should be concerned about heart failure but nope, it's the BIG C word that scares me to the brink of going mad!
I wonder is us 'oldies' all feel this way or is it just me?
Thanks for reading this and I hope you will reply.
I am 61 yrs. young and feel great. I guess I can say this because attitude has a lot to do with how you look at life and consequently how you feel. I saw on the news today a lady that just turned 104 and she got around better than many people who are in their 60s or 70s. She was volunterring at a hospital and giving of herself. Her attitude was or is just take one day at a time. Mind set needs to change my friend. Develop friendships, join a gym, get out and meet people and you will not be alone. Read books that will motivate and encourage you. Normal Vincent Peale's book on a positive attitude is good for a starter. Change takes place gradually but in time you will start to see a difference in your mood and mindset. Be encouraged and let me know how you are doing. Also read books on good nutrition which will help alleviate your fears on getting cancer or growing older. Forgive, forgive forgive those that have hurt you for life is too precious to hold grudges.
Last edited by MsNetta61; 08-07-2011 at 05:50 PM.
Reason: adding some words
It's my one fear. I actually have cancer-phobia and it causes me serious anxiety. The older I get the worse it becomes!
Spend time with friends or make some new friends. Get a hobby or go to the library and find something interesting to read. If you find more enjoyment in life, you may not experience as much anxiety.
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In all reality, I should be concerned about heart failure but nope, it's the BIG C word that scares me to the brink of going mad!
Do you have a history of cancer in your family? I do, so I read lots of books on how to prevent cancer. Then I changed my diet accordingly and now I feel confident that I won't get cancer.
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I wonder is us 'oldies' all feel this way or is it just me?
Were you a caregiver to someone who suffered for a long time with cancer? It's not uncommon for caregivers to have extreme anxiety afterwards.
There are lots of anti-cancer foods like cruciferous vegetables. Perhaps if you eat more of them (include them in your diet everyday) you may find that it puts your mind to rest. It's easy to find lists of these foods online.
Last edited by JohnR41; 08-08-2011 at 09:14 AM.
Reason: punctuation
Hi, On the other side of your anxiety and question of death and illness, I had cancer twice and had no history in my family but it was caught and detected early so I think that is an important key. Be proactive with your health and yearly check-ups. If you see anything unusual on your body or in your body then go see a doctor or specialist and get educated. Knowledge is power and gives peace of mind. I am a believer and know where I will go when I die so my faith and prayers and lots of supportive friends got me through chemo and radiation. Any disease is scary and the fear of the unknown but ignoring it is worse. God bless and hope you see things in a better light and be with those who will encourage you and use your gifts that God gave to you. You might be the only one to visit a lonely person in a nursing home or smile at a homeless person or feed someone who needs help, etc.
The following user gives a hug of support to renko: jp227 (08-13-2011)
I feel pretty much the same way you do. I've been a care giver most of my life & I'm worn out. I have a multitude of health problems now but I can still get up & take care of myself. I too dread the time I may/will be terminal & have no one to take care of me. When I was young I would have said, "spend time with friend" but most of my friends are already deceased. I used to do volunteer work but now that I'm a senior I don't have the energy to help anyone else. If I was wealthy & could afford to hire live in help I wouldn't be concerned about the future. Try to keep a positive attitude.
The Following User Says Thank You to sammi2 For This Useful Post: dusky blue (03-19-2012)
Same here! Death, to me, is the same as sleeping without waking up. I LOVE to sleep, so death to me is a pleasant thought, even though I would much prefer to live as long as I can. This can be a wonderful and beautiful world we live in!
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The thing which causes me the most anxiety is thinking of the possible journey! I'm alone and there is no one who would care of me should I lay up for months or years with cancer. It's my one fear. I actually have cancer-phobia and it causes me serious anxiety. The older I get the worse it becomes!
My feelings are somewhat the same. I am close to 70 and I have been married for 46 years to the same gorgeous, wonderful, caring wife. I have also battled against Heart Failure, Permanent Atrial Fibrillation, Insulin Resistance, etc., for over 25 years. I fear getting worse and becoming a burden to my wife. I also fear leaving her alone to fend for herself, without her faithful partner in life.
In order to keep myself as healthy as possible; and give notice to my Heart Failure that it's going to have to take a back seat; I eat a very healthy diet; do extensive, demanding exercises each and every day; take effective medications; and avoid nasty chemicals and irritants. All of these efforts have led to a significant recovery and have made me feel much younger than I am.
plumtired, I hope that you are doing well, and have also found ways of coping with, or diminishing your cancer-phobia and illness anxieties.
No your not, plum I think I know how you feel. I often think " Death dosent bother me, it's dying that bothers me" Of all the ways to die, falling into a deep painless sleep and not waking up....absolutely wonderful! I'm 68 & if it happened this minute..that's ok. It's the lack of choice & the dreadful unknown that bothers us. Hope I didint depress you cos I dont feel that way. I'm a happy-go-lucky realist
The Following User Says Thank You to dusky blue For This Useful Post: katrae (07-21-2012)
Hi Plumtired, now you are not the only oldie. I just came on today and I am 70+ so feel like you now have a oldie friend. I have a lot of friends who are close to my age and all have fears. We look around and see all these frightful diseases and not having anyone to help. Cancer is a horrible disease and we all pray not to have it. I know many friends who have suffered with it. Heart disease is a "family tradition" in my family. I now have a blocked artery in my right leg. Have had the tests and waiting for a time to have it stented and then a stress test will follow as it is said if you have a blockage in the lower area of your body it is likely you may have blockage in you chest area. Ok, yes, I am anxious but more anxious to get this done and over. No need to be anxious about the stress test until I have it done and know the results. I believe that all are concerned as dying is something we have not expeienced.
Life is wonderful with a few pitfalls here and there but I too have the concern that you feel. Now that you have an"oldie" friend we can share what we may not want to discuss with those who declare they are not afraid. I am happy to find your post and hopeully someone to share fears and concerns. When I am able to express my fears and concerns it helps me to deal with them. I believe that is just human nature to feel these thoughts. Hopeful you will repost and we will chat a bit more. Take care...
Dying doesn't frighten me at all. The thing which causes me the most anxiety is thinking of the possible journey! I'm alone and there is no one who would care of me should I lay up for months or years with cancer. It's my one fear. I actually have cancer-phobia and it causes me serious anxiety. The older I get the worse it becomes!
In all reality, I should be concerned about heart failure but nope, it's the BIG C word that scares me to the brink of going mad!
I wonder is us 'oldies' all feel this way or is it just me?
Thanks for reading this and I hope you will reply.
God bless,
Plum
Dear Plum, I think that we are afraid of the process. I don't know anyone who does not want to feel like we might be lying around with whatever disease and no one to take care of us. I am dealing with more than one health issue right now. I have no idea what would happen if I should die a lingering death. My husband is one of those people who seems to have no sympathy for any one but himself. I am waiting to be scheduled for a leg cath. (arterial) In a couple of weeks I have an appointment to have a stress test. The clinic where I go is less than 15 minutes from our home and he does not want to be with me for any of these test or the procedure. I have no one else to help me. I hope that I can find someone willing to take me for the procedure or it cannot be done. I can't understand why he is this way. I was surprised when he refused to go with me since all he has to do is take me there and leave me. The leg cath cannot be done unless you have an adult to bring you and then bring you home after the procedure is over. This is causing me a huge amount of stress. He mows our yard and a neighbor's yard is in good shape for a person age 70+. He seems to be able to do anything he wants to do but when I have a problem he just refuses to go with me. Back to the death issue, several of my friends have owned up to their fear of dying so you are not alone here. I wish I could offer you an answer that would help you cope with your fears. I am a sympathic person and I feel your concern. I try to use my faith to accept these issues but they continue to remain with me. Take care and post again.
sending you care and concern also big hugs from one oldie to another.
Wow.... you sound just like me! I was terrified of getting cancer.... AND DID. That pretty much took the fear out of cancer. I had breast cancer nearly 5 years ago and am alive and well today. It sounds like you have some anxiety in your life and you have hooked your star on cancer. Yes, it is always a possibility. The deal with cancer, usually, is to catch it early. Treatment for cancer now, is not what it used to be. I went through a mastectomy, chemo, lost my hair.... all the accompanying stuff but was perfectly able to take care of myself. We live on a farm and I rarely missed a day of chores. I think you should go see your doctor, have a check-up and possibly take an anti anxiety medication. It might help you. The thing about being alone.... you have GOT to get out there and mingle. I am big into volunteering and have met so many wonderful people whose interests are like mine. I don't know what your interests are but no doubt, there is a group to match your personality. Do you belong to a church? (I don't) It is another place to make friends and get involved with a choir group. Are you interested in politics... plenty of that going around right now. Do you like to knit, garden, like animals.... like to read.... when you look around your community, there is usually lots to do. I think you have to address your anxiety FIRST, have a very frank discussion with your doctor, get on the right path and once you are feeling a bit better, throw open your front door and charge out into the world! I am speaking as a woman who for 20 years had agoraphobia so bad I couldn't leave my house! I had that discussion with my doctor... got on some medication and now that is ancient history. You can make a real difference in your life but first things first. You need to get to feeling better... then you can take tiny steps and live your life without so much fear. Been there done that.... now go make an appointment with your doctor! Hang in there! Sharon
you should not give yourself time to think about these things. Indulge yourself in the activities of your interest, Meet people who are full of life and have positive attitudes towards it. This can help you to change your mindset and fears of having cancer in the future,
These are all wonderful posts. I fit right in being over 70 also and terrified, not of ca, but of debilitating stroke and dementia go with it (in my family) and lingering in a hideous way.
It makes me angry that there is no way that I know of that we can say, "Enough," and act on it.
The Following User Says Thank You to tinam7 For This Useful Post: katrae (07-21-2012)
I don't think you are alone in your thoughts and the desire to have some control over the end of your suffering. Some states have enacted the right-to-die but they are few and far between. Some would say we treat our pets better when it comes to "putting them to sleep" to end their suffering.
Thank you for your response and understanding. The typical reaction is something else altogether. To compound the issue, a friend in CA sent me an article (very recent), latimes.com, re, "An ailing wife (84, constant pain, totally dependent, etc.) takes her life; a husband (88) is arrested. The problem? He did not call 911, as she wanted him not to call, but sat by her as she died. This is a crime.
I look at my husband who has been ordered by me never to call 911 and the poor thing could end up in jail? Is this insane, or what?
Last edited by tinam7; 07-15-2012 at 09:46 AM.
The Following User Says Thank You to tinam7 For This Useful Post: katrae (07-21-2012)
So I'm not alone, thank you, but the likes of us have no say whatsoever. I also read recently that we have no right to die of old age, for example. A disease must be noted on a death certificate. If we are in excruciating pain because of a cracked spine or hip, let's say, do not want to exist in a stupor of pain killers, what's the disease?
It seems we have a terrible problem in this regard that generally can't even be addressed. But I proceed undaunted. With all the info that is available to us, I feel optimistic.
There are many of --us-- out here. As the "boomers" continue to age and die, I think this subject will become to the forefront. In the meantime.... get out and enjoy the life you have. We all could get hit by a bus tomorrow. I hope to die at 110 while being run over by a herd of miniature horses. One can dream....
Re: Afraid of dying/illness? 
