Recently she fell and broke her pelvis in two spots and her tailbone. This is not the first break she's had in her life. She broke her hip at 72 and recovered. However, she is now 90 plus, diabetic, asthmatic, and with hypertension. I've read the statistics and they do not comfort me. 25% or more of those in her situation die within one year.
My problem is I live a long distance away. She has gone from the hospital to the transitional care facility. My plan is to go to her state for a month once she gets out of transitional care in an effort to take care of her and mostly to lift her spirits. Moving there is not an option as it's going to be hard enough just to manage the trip with my pets in tow. I'm not ruling out staying longer, but I will be paying quite a bit to stay at an extended place. Staying with her isn't an option but I'll be near the assisted living place where she lives.
I worry that she might not even make it through the transitional care so I don't know if I should just jump on a plane and visit and then drive there once she's released. I have siblings there but they have born the brunt of caring for both my deceased father and her.
I do worry about my ability to care for her adequately, as I am not the nurse type but I'm happy to be there to get her things, make her meals, try to keep her spirits up. I know that if need be the facility does have medical people who can come in and do the medical stuff (or what I consider to be medical stuff like bathing, etc). I don't trust my own physical strength alone and I have no idea just what she'll need or be like but I certainly do not want to drop her or make things worse!
Whenever my mom came out of the hospital or rehab after breaking her hip, she had the assistance of an aide to bathe her. A nurse also came daily to check her vitals. Medicare paid for this I believe. Talk to the social worker.
Also, I waited a day when she was in the hospital the last time because the er doc said she was doing well. The next day her regular dr. Called me to say she was not doing well. I got the next flight that I could. Unfortunately, it was too late.
I will never forget this. I waited in the hope that I would help her when she got out of the hospital. If I had to do it all over again, I would have gotten the next flight out no matter what the er doc said. I hope this helps you decide.
Get on the phone and call Office of the Aging. Get advice from them. After she leaves the hospital medicare will pick up the tab until she stops showing improvement. Then they drop her. If I read you post right she is now in an assisted living facility. That being the case they will take care of her medical needs, food, activities etc. The Office of the Aging or her social worker will test her to see if she needs nursing care. You need to get some answers to find peace with this situation. Don't put yourself through this agony.