It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Aging Issues Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-19-2012, 03:35 PM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: pENNSYLVANIA
Posts: 1
JMMOM HB User
Depression/Empty Nest etc.

Hi I am new here first time ever posting....I am 42,,had my kids young,,my BABY WILL graduate hi school in 2 weeks...I KNOW I will lose it when he puts on that cap and gown,,He will graduate with high honors which I am thrilled,,my other child is in college,,,But I am overwhelmed with alot

.....I just feel so lonely..I am in my home now alone,,The teens have their own life,,we do somethings together, but u know how it is..I miss hearing them fight in the other room,,I miss hearing Barney the Dinosaur in the Backround on tv,,I miss being room mom at school.....I envy every young happy mom I see at the park, pool,,mall,,Library,,Or the mom dad son and daughter eating across from me at a restaurant laughing,,doing tic tac toe on the back of the placemat,,and I dont know how to feel happy again,,,Yesterday that was me at the swimming pool with my 7 and 9 yr old,,,today its me alone,,watching other moms with 7 and 9 yr olds,,and lastly,,I hate getting old,,not fun

Is anybody in my shoes,,can anybody offer sound advice because this is too embarassing to tell friends and coworkers and relatives

 
The following user gives a hug of support to JMMOM:
movemngr (05-30-2012)
Old 05-20-2012, 11:51 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Lady Lake, FL, U.S.A.
Posts: 1,549
JohnR41 HB UserJohnR41 HB UserJohnR41 HB UserJohnR41 HB UserJohnR41 HB UserJohnR41 HB UserJohnR41 HB UserJohnR41 HB UserJohnR41 HB UserJohnR41 HB UserJohnR41 HB User
Re: Depression/Empty Nest ETc

Do you have any pets? Some people get pets to fill the void.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 05-20-2012, 01:37 PM   #3
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 53
Jacy56 HB UserJacy56 HB User
Re: Depression/Empty Nest ETc

I understand how you feel. When my oldest went off to college, I couldn't wait for his visits home. My younger son went to the local college and graduated last year. I also envy the young moms and tell them enjoy these days for they go by very quickly.
I volunteer for local community programs to keep me busy and have met some great people. Also, the local high school and library have programs and classes. Keep busy and try to accept that you are getting older. I know it's hard. If you want to feel young, volunteer at a nursing home. You will feel rejuvenated! Good luck.

 
Old 05-30-2012, 04:44 AM   #4
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Fredericksburg
Posts: 1
movemngr HB User
Re: Depression/Empty Nest ETc

JMMOM,

I too, have been EXACTLY where you are. I enjoyed being a mom so much.
I was a stay at home mom and my kids filled a hole in my very being that was there before they were born and returned when they started growing up. I missed being needed and adored.
My loneliness and depression always felt better when I was out, so for a while, I went shopping. That would help in the short term but later I found myself with one more thing I didn't need and a credit card bill that was becoming a problem. Last October I decided I had had enough. I started my own business and today I focus on helping Senior citizens and their families deal with the stresses of growing older and needing to downsize.
Although I think working with senior citizens is a good idea, I don't think a nursing home is the place to be when you are already depressed and vulnerable.
Why not volunteer at a more upscale senior living community?
I volunteered at a local one here. I helped get folders ready for their many new resident events, I volunteered in the pub, set up their library, delivered mail....I did whatever they needed me to do. I became such a regular face that the residents began to call me by my name and the managers were always happy to see me. This volunteering filled the hole and it eventually led me to the place where I am now. It could maybe lead you to the next wonderful phase of your life.
You could also go an entirely different route and help out at one of the local schools. You don't have to have a kid in the class to be class mom!
Change your attitude and try to look at this like it is a beginning.
Enjoy where you are and try to go with the flow.
Remember you are not alone and there are other people out there who could really use your love and devotion.
Good luck!







Quote:
Originally Posted by JMMOM View Post
Hi I am new here first time ever posting....I am 42,,had my kids young,,my BABY WILL graduate hi school in 2 weeks...I KNOW I will lose it when he puts on that cap and gown,,He will graduate with high honors which I am thrilled,,my other child is in college,,,But I am overwhelmed with alot

.....I just feel so lonely..I am in my home now alone,,The teens have their own life,,we do somethings together, but u know how it is..I miss hearing them fight in the other room,,I miss hearing Barney the Dinosaur in the Backround on tv,,I miss being room mom at school.....I envy every young happy mom I see at the park, pool,,mall,,Library,,Or the mom dad son and daughter eating across from me at a restaurant laughing,,doing tic tac toe on the back of the placemat,,and I dont know how to feel happy again,,,Yesterday that was me at the swimming pool with my 7 and 9 yr old,,,today its me alone,,watching other moms with 7 and 9 yr olds,,and lastly,,I hate getting old,,not fun

Is anybody in my shoes,,can anybody offer sound advice because this is too embarassing to tell friends and coworkers and relatives

 
Old 08-04-2012, 07:23 PM   #5
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 8
Freda779 HB User
Re: Depression/Empty Nest ETc

Hi there moms,

As much as I wanted to be a stay at home mom also, but I am thinking of my future later on. I don't want to be just a mom, I wanted to be a provider, thus I worked hard and save money. This is one good way of preparing myself if ever my kids will be settling down.

 
Old 08-04-2012, 09:37 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Chester, VA
Posts: 1,737
noevr HB Usernoevr HB Usernoevr HB Usernoevr HB Usernoevr HB Usernoevr HB Usernoevr HB Usernoevr HB Usernoevr HB Usernoevr HB Usernoevr HB User
Re: Depression/Empty Nest etc.

hi, my only son left in 2003 and I actually enjoyed it for a bit (don't get me wrong I love him to death) but now he has moved states away and maybe even more and I go months at a time not seeing him . I'm sickly and can't travel so it is bothering me. I understand where you are coming from.

IF you have your health I would do what the others are suggesting and volunteer at the schools around the younger children in the library or something or the local library. I wish I could do that. Or I've always wanted to work at a craft store. But cannot (I'm retired now).

In the beginning I enjoyed having friends over to visit and had some get togethers and it was fun (when I could). I miss that maybe you could do that some too.

Good luck and I hope you find your nitch. CJ

 
Old 08-05-2012, 03:58 AM   #7
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 53
Jacy56 HB UserJacy56 HB User
Re: Depression/Empty Nest ETc

The empty nest syndrome hits whether you are a stay at home mom or a mom working outside the home. Although a career will keep you busy after the kids are gone, there is still sadness that a wonderful time of your life is now behind you.

Look to the future as a new beginning. There are adult education classes for so many interesting subjects. Our local library has book clubs and writing clubs.

I still suggest working with senior citizens whether in nursing homes or assisted living. I am 57 and can't help but feel useful and vibrant when helping 70 and80 year olds.

If you are healthy, don't take it for granted. I was ill last year and realized that I wasn't appreciating how lucky I was when healthy. Now that I am better I take time to appreciate the little things in life. I am thankful when able to go to the market without feeling sick. Just being able to walk and talk and be normal is a blessing. Yes and I am even thankful when my adult children come home and spread their belongings all over the house!

I have accepted this next stage of my life and only hope to continue feeling well and being healthy so I can enjoy it to the fullest. I hope the same for all of you moms because you deserve it!

 
The Following User Says Thank You to Jacy56 For This Useful Post:
noevr (08-05-2012)
Old 08-06-2012, 11:09 AM   #8
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 8
Freda779 HB User
Re: Depression/Empty Nest ETc

Exactly..As moms we deserve happiness..Even though we've got our kids, do think as well of your well being. Stay positive and happy..Maintain being just the way you are, as lively as those young girls.. :-)

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
What to do for my Elderly, depressed Mom? yippee0922 Aging Issues 7 11-13-2010 01:36 PM
what are the physical change at age 40 legranh Aging Issues 18 03-29-2008 04:47 PM
Depression solved, new dilemma please help me I am so afraid mike j Aging Issues 2 11-15-2007 12:27 PM
Grandfather 90 depression, Any advice how to perk him up mike j Aging Issues 11 10-05-2007 04:13 PM
55 and Running on Empty wdmoor Aging Issues 4 08-13-2007 02:59 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Botox
Morphine
Potassium
Prednisone
Prozac
  Renova
Retin-a
Synthroid
Tylenol Vioxx




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



JohnR41 (8), tinam7 (5), jamie4444 (5), jumprosel (4), Machaon (3), neflin (3), Misty800 (2), hypatia (2), curly fry (2), james079 (2)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1013), Apollo123 (909), Titchou (856), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (755), midwest1 (670), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:54 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!