General question - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

Nicole · 12-28-2000, 10:09 PM

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this board but Alzheimer's hits close to home since it's struck my grandmother 4 years ago.

Just to give some background, my grandmother is in an assisted living facility. Lately it seems that her condition has deteriorated and we're keeping her there and paying privately.

We're trying to limit the amount of "extras" the facility offers so that she can stay there for as long as possible. Once her funds run out, it's a possibility she may have to go to a Medicaid facility. In the meantime, the facility she's in now basically just feeds her and does her laundry and that's about it.

Lately she's been forgetting to put on underwear, bras, and has been urinating on herself as well. This place will not dress her because that's an "extra" that needs to be paid for. They won't check to see if she's urinated on herself because that's also an "extra". She's allotted 25 minutes a day for one on one attention, i.e. giving her her meds, etc.

Now, my question is, are there facilities that are solely for Alzheimer's patients and not just general assisted living places. She needs more care and I'm adamant about her not going to a nursing home. This place assists but only to an extent, and not to mention it's costing a lot of money each month for us to dress her, have her hair done, do her laundry, etc.

My main purpose is to prolong her living anywhere else EXCEPT a nursing home. I'm sure eventually once this horrendous disease takes over completely and she forgets how to stand up she'll have to be in a nursing home but she's not at that point right now.

Can someone advise me as to whether or not there are homes out there that are for Alzheimer's patients solely, or are there assisted living facilities that are different than this one who will actually give her the care she needs of someone reminding her to put a bra on and underwear but not charge "extra"? I thought, after all, that's what an assisted living facility is, but apparently not.

Any help would be very appreciated.
Nicole

Mace · 12-30-2000, 12:39 AM

We have assisted living for Alzheimer's here in the Atlanta area. My morther-in-law was in two before she had to go to a nursing home. Both were regular assisted living with a special floor for Alzheimer's. They offered two to three bedroom apartments and had TV lounges and dining rooms. Those that couldn't make it to a meal would be served in their room. They were not offered the same freedom that the other assisted living enjoyed but we could check her out and in anytime we wished. They had had too many get lost to allow unsupervised freedom. They did have staff take them to have their hair done, do shopping and thing like that.

Good Luck, God Bless, Mace

Cherry7Up · 01-09-2001, 08:40 PM

Hello,
I just wanted to say my mother is in a skilled nursing home and this place has been a ansewer to our prayers. They take such good care for her and treat her and all the other residents with so much resecpt and love. Just before Christmas she had to go the the acute part of the hospital for a week and everyday the CNA's from the skilled nursing floor would come to her room and sing Christmas Carols to her. When they would leave she would tell them she loved them and missed them.
I know it is a hard thing putting your loved one in a nursing home but it has been the best thing for us. I no longer have to fight with her to get cleaned up, or dressed. I come spend time with her everyday and it is now quality time enjoying one another.
I guess I should mention that she can no longer get up to go to the bathroom, dress herself or eat without help.
I think there are probely many good places out there you just have to search real hard. Talk to the family members of these places they will let you know how they feel about the care their loved ones are getting.
My heart goes out to you because I know how hard it can be. I just try to pray about these things and trust the Lord to guide me. Oh well enough of my babbling Good Luck!

Robert2 · 01-20-2001, 11:20 PM

My father has alzheimers. He still lives at home but that is because we provide twenty-four hour a day supervision for him and my mother. My brother and sister and I make sure that someone is always there. It's not an easy thing to do. He has to be dressed, and taken to use the toilet and we even clean him after a number 2. We have to bathe him and give him his medicines and put lotions on him. Not every family can do that.

It really sounds as though your grandma is beyond an assisted living environment. That's for residents who can take care of themselves to certain degree. There are privately operate homes for Alzheimer patients in certain cities but you have to be care that they are reputable. Nursing homes are not so bad as long as you check them out thoroughly. Word of mouth is usually the best reference. If you find a home your interested in, go in on Sunday and wonder around. Talk to the families of other patients there. You can get a lot of information that way.

Remember, most nursing homes, especially the best ones, have a waiting list. You need to get your grandmother on as many waiting lists as possible. You can always decline if you need to. Some homes have waiting lists that are backed up for years.

zbestone · 03-26-2001, 12:34 PM

Im new here. Just looking for some mental support and to see if anyone else is in the same situation as us. My Mother was a nurse for 17 years and was forced to retire due to the onset of this illness. One year later, we were forced to find a Nursing Home for her. My sister and I chose not to be the caregivers as we did not have the means. As I read here somewhere, it was worse than death to us. We looked at nursing homes that were absolutely breaking our heart and God answered our prayers and opened the door to a wonderful place. Its a small town and a decent place IS hard to find. Mom is on medicaid and the place is very nice and the people are nice too. Ive had to struggle with the fact that there are NEVER enough kind people to help in these facilities and NO ONE is going to care for them as you would. We do our best to visit often and even take her out sometimes, but that has to stop due to her deteriotion. For the first time, we visited last week and found Mom with waste in her clothes. She doesnt even remember this now and we feel she might have had a light stroke. I know this is the way it will be eventually, but it is so hard to watch your loved one be in this condition. I wish I could rid my guilt of not being her caregiver, but I pray that God will give her peace and let me handle the suffering. Any replys are welcome.