90yr old, still kickin', but we're not sure.... - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

cthor2213 · 05-07-2001, 04:00 PM

My grandmother is going to be turning 90 years old today. She has been working her whole entire life, up until now. She has volunteered as a social worker for the last 15 years, but has had her license taken away due to bad (horrible would be more of the word) driving skills and deteriorating sight. However, my parents and I beleive that there is more going on. She hates everyone but me and my mother, meaning that she has put very negative feelings in both of us. My father has done nothing but help her, but for some reason, she will start finding reasons, almost like she's paranoid, to hate him, her other daughters, and her sister. She lies very often about little things, and forgets very often about things being said and sometimes actions she has taken. She hates doctors as well... The last time she saw a doctor was when she was forced by the ambulance who picked her up at the Post Office, when her heart almost stopped. She had a pacemaker put in, and thats the last time I can remember her going to the doctors (so this was easily over 5 years ago). Basically, she would never go even if everyone was telling her to. Everyone in our family beleives she has dimentia, but there seems to be nothing we can do about it but try to cover over the harsh words she says and try to make the best. I'm not completely sure if she has Alzheimers, or even dimentia for that matter, but either way, I wish that she would be put under care of some sort. She has no real physical set backs. She can walk and talk and all that, but she has definitely changed in her behavior. I was wondering anyone has any clues as to if this really is dimentia, or what? I'm clueless, but I love my grandma, and want to do something for her without her hating me as well... Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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~Cassie

flydurango · 05-18-2001, 07:57 AM

yes your grandmother has dementia but whether it of the alzhiemers or not is another question...take her to a neurologist asap... get these test done:ekg,mri,labs...electrolyte panel cbc h+h vit b-12 and other vit difficency also check for prolonged hypertension!!! this will also cause dementia if not treated

gizmolove · 05-22-2001, 10:42 AM

Dear Cassie;

Sorry to hear about your grandmother:
It sounds like she has the middle stage of this disease. It's important that you & your family to know that this is a disease and not just bad behavior on her part. You could
get her to a Dr., but you'd have a fight on your hands and she'd be in a lot of stress over it. Unless she is agreeable she probably wouldn't do what the Dr. says anyway. You need to try to get her some medication that will help her with her anger, anxiety, confusion, memory, depression, fear,and on occasion, delusional thinking. This isn't easy.

There is no actual test for this disease, at this time. All the Dr. can do is to test for other diseases and start to eliminate other problems that it may be. Once everything else is ruled out, they will probably say that it is AZ, and give her something for the symptoms that I have already mentioned above.

Try to make her more manageable, more agreeable and cooperative with her care. You can do this with sugar a lot faster than with vinegar. So, find her retired Dr. see if
he can't call or write her to recommend a new Dr. (if he is someone that she would trust), maybe a personal note from him would win her over. Or maybe a clinic in the
area would be less threatening. Let them know why you are coming in advance, and let them know that she may not take to waiting around like "normal" patients. I can still remember the scenes that my mother used to make when she was kept waiting, even for just a few minutes. It is very embarrassing, but it is not their fault.

If you try everything in the book and you still can not get her to budge, (go to the Dr.); call mental health or elder services (thru the state welfare agency), and they may
send in a Physiatrist to her home. He or she can write the RX that your grandmother needs. Then it would be important for you or someone in your family to make sure that she takes her med's as the Dr. has directed.

And, while we are on the subject of people coming into the home, see if there is a "Visiting nursing" program for your area. Also, try to get community based volunteer
help in as well. Remember that this is a brain disease & your grandmothers change in personality is not directed at you, it's only a result of the disease that she is going thru. So, don't take anything personally. Try to treat her with kindness, love; and treasure the time that she has left.

Take Care, and GOD Bless,
Gizmo