Both parents have AD - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

J. Smith · 06-22-2001, 01:21 AM

This is the first time I have posted to this message board. I have been lurking off and on for some time. In January 2000 my mother was diagnosed with AD. This was bad enough but my dad has now been diagnosed with AD. My mother is probably in the middle stage of AD and has probably had it for 5 to 7 years. My dad has probably had AD for at least 1 year and maybe longer. They live in their own home with my brother and his family living close by. I live in another state but since my brother was in denial about my dads condition I made an appointment to have my dad evaluated and have made two trips in the past two weeks to take him to be evaluated and then to get the results. It was a very thorough evaluation. I am depressed and have been grieving off and on through out this ordeal. None of my friends understand this as I think they think of grieving being only when someone actually dies.

Judy

gizmolove · 06-23-2001, 06:50 PM

Hi Judy,
I understand your grieving. It is so very tough to watch someone that you love slip away little by little day after day, and to feel so helpless. This is a terriable thing to go thru. Most people do not understand because it acts so slowly, and at first the changes are almost unnoticable. No one knows just how hard this is to go thru, except someone who has gone thru it themselves. Get your support gathered around you, you're going to need help and encouragement. Don't worry; you are not alone. Start going to AD meetings in your area. You will find some good copeing ideas there and the support of others. Line up good doctors for your parents and stay on top of their med's. Then get people that will love you and support you for the times to come.

And take good care of yourself, so that you can be there for your mom and dad.

Just take one day, and one dragon at a time.

Hugs,

------------------
Gizmo

Leo Sarabia · 07-23-2001, 07:26 PM

Judy,
Both of my parents have Alzheimer's. I tried to take care of them in my home 4 years ago but after one year I ran out of energy and I had to put both of them in a nursing home that cares for Alzheimer's patients. Grieving is good for you because I grieve every Sunday when I go and spend time with them at the nursing home. My Mother can no longer speak, feed herself, and no longer able to walk or sit up. Dad can still dress, feed, and go to the bathroom by himself and I can carry a somewhat conversation with him. I cry on the way home after spending time with them but I feel good afterwards knowing that they are still alive and that I can still spend some time with them. I always surf message boards and it has been a long time since I have posted. Your message about having both of your parents with AD caught my eye. I wish you well with your parents.
Leo

babeodear · 07-25-2001, 02:38 PM

Judy,
I am sorry about your parents. Alzheimers is a heart breaking experience. My mother had it . I can't imagine what it would have been like if both my parents had it at the same time. Now that it is all over I really miss my Mom. It was a long drawn out ordeal. I didn't grieve for a very long time. If I were still going through all of the disease what I would have done more is given my mom more hugs. The hardest part was when I went to see her and she didn't even know who I was. I had been to see her only a week before. You will make it through this.

Sallen · 08-17-2001, 07:27 PM

Grief is a natual part of this, and it can come in many ways. NO ONE has a right to tell you that you shouldn't be feeling that way. My mother is still with me, still (thank God) aware and able to do things for herself...but even I have moments of grief for the person she used to be. (I miss the taste of her cooking, since she no longer can...the 'take charge' attitude that's disappeared...heck, I even miss getting yelled at on occasion....) Some of us encounter that grief every day, and that is something only those with aging parents seem to understand...my prayers are with you and your parents....