Needed to talk - Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia Message Board

myccec · 02-02-2004, 02:24 PM

We went to see my Pappy yesterday. He didn't even smile when he saw me. I showed him pics of our son and him together, but he didn't seem to care. I talked like I usually do, but no response. It's because I couldn't go for 2 months because of the flu at the home wouldn't let us visit anyone. See 1 week before Christmas, Pappy had 2 mini-strokes and we didn't what would happen eith him. He is gone now (his mind). It breaks my heart to keep seeing him like this.
After we saw my Pappy, my loving husband wanted to hold my hand and I didn't want to because of wanting to cry. I shouldn't be crying when I need to see Grandma next. I've always been the strong one in our family around Pappy. My husband gets the crying part of me. I miss my old Pappy. I feel like he's gone forever

Our son is his namesake and is 21 months old. He sees pics of Pappy holding him and says "Pap pap". Now he knows Pappy, what do we tell him when he realizes Pappy doen't know him? Our son wants to always show Pappy pics of the "baby" (our son).
Thanks for listening.

Bettyhere · 02-02-2004, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by myccec

We went to see my Pappy yesterday. He didn't even smile when he saw me. I showed him pics of our son and him together, but he didn't seem to care. I talked like I usually do, but no response. It's because I couldn't go for 2 months because of the flu at the home wouldn't let us visit anyone. See 1 week before Christmas, Pappy had 2 mini-strokes and we didn't what would happen eith him. He is gone now (his mind). It breaks my heart to keep seeing him like this.
After we saw my Pappy, my loving husband wanted to hold my hand and I didn't want to because of wanting to cry. I shouldn't be crying when I need to see Grandma next. I've always been the strong one in our family around Pappy. My husband gets the crying part of me. I miss my old Pappy. I feel like he's gone forever

Our son is his namesake and is 21 months old. He sees pics of Pappy holding him and says "Pap pap". Now he knows Pappy, what do we tell him when he realizes Pappy doen't know him? Our son wants to always show Pappy pics of the "baby" (our son).
Thanks for listening.

I'm so sorry about your family, but this is AD and you should cry as much and as often as you need to and get it out. Lucky you to have a loving husband and a fine son to carry on your Pappy's name. I'm not sure you son will understand that Pappy doesn't know him, he'll just play and show the pics and, hopefully, have some happy memories. We all know it's incredibly difficult. Bless us all.

Beginning · 02-02-2004, 02:58 PM

Your son will have wonderful memories, based on family stories of better times. My children were very small when their grandparents died, and even the one that was a baby has created some wonderful "false" memories based on the happy stories we've told them and the pictures in the family album. I know it's hard, but take care of yourself so that you can find a way to enjoy his toddlerhood with your husband even while you're grieving.